Chaos- in general
by StarChibi
Summary: *Finished* Fed up with the Slayers inability to admit their feelings, three priestesses related to the race of Ancient Dragons decide to try their hand at match-making, but Dynast has other plans...L/G Z/A X/F
1. The Start of the Mischief

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the slayers characters, someone else does! The characters of Kai'ila, L'risia and Cleopatra are mine own, however. DO NOT TOUCH. Hehe. 

Kai'ila brushed off her yellow dress as she stood by the roadside. Her long red hair blew in the wind and her green eyes watched the road run into the horizon. She turned around to face her two companions. One was lounging lazily in a tree. She was dressed in a dark blue dress and a black cloak, and had her long cobalt hair tied in a thick plait over her shoulder. She had her eyes shut.  Probably thinking about what story she could write next, thought Kai'ila. The girl sitting at the base of the tree met Kai'ila's green gaze with her own light blue. She had mid-length blonde-brown hair and wore a deep purple cape around her shoulders and a white dress with a little mauve angel on the front. 

'Are they coming yet? This is boring.' She said.

'I think so, Cleo.' Kai'ila told her fellow priestess. The three of them where the three remaining priestess of Chaos, in a way related to the race of Ancient Dragons, of which Valgarv, now eight years old again, was the only one left. They too had powers of both light and dark, and for the last few thousand years had been watching the events of the world with mild interest, preferring to keep their existence a secret. But certain events two years ago (five, if you counted the first adventure) had persuaded them to influence slightly the events of the world.

Each of them had a annoying tendency to want to set people up. The friends responsible for the downfall of Shabranigdo, the Hellmaster, Chaos Dragon Gaav and Dark Star were increasingly getting on the nerves of the three matchmakers. After the fall of Dark Star, Xelloss had disappeared (huge surprise) Filia had set up her mace-and-pottery shop with Jiras and looked after baby Val, Amelia had gone back to the palace and Lina and Gourry- well, off travelling again. Zelgadis in particular was starting to piss Kai'ila and Cleo off. The third member of the party, the girl in black and blue, was also getting frustrated with him but, unlike the others, was still struggling with the idea of directly interfering. Finally she'd seen there was nothing she could do to stop her friends, so she went along for the ride and to stop them doing something completely crazy. 

'L'risia, are you awake?' Cleo asked her, craning her neck to look up at the said person occupying a branch. Kai'ila noticed she looked like a certain annoying Mazoku, and made a mental note to tell her not to do this anymore. 

'Mm? Yeah. Uh- Zel's run into Gourry and Lina, they'll be here in a couple of minutes.'

'Oh. You were scrying?'

'What did you think I was doing?'

'Sleeping.' Cleo and Kai'ila said sheepishly. L'risia looked annoyed and then shrugged.

'Under normal circumstances I probably would have been.' 

Cleo looked down the path, an evil smile forming on her face as three figures appear. One is a short redhead, now twenty, dressed in her red and yellow sorceress ensemble. The figure to the right as an average-height young man, dressed in ivory. His steel hair glinted in the sunlight as he listened to his old friend tell him about her and her companion's adventures. This companion is very tall and with long blonde hair and dressed in blue. He has said hello to Zelgadis, even remembering how to say his name, and so now he feels Lina can do all the talking, since he can't remember half of what she's talking about anyway. 

'Okay girls! Disguises!' Kai'ila clapped her hands, transforming her outfit into loose blue trousers and a yellow tunic. She tied a blue bandanna around her head and did a Lina-style-victory-sign-wink at her friends. Cleo, with a dramatic air, had little glitter sparkles formed around her and change her priestess clothes into purple flared pants and a white sleeveless top and a purple cape. L'risia shrugged, changing her clothes into black loose combat pants and a blue tunic. 

'Could we please have a little colour, dear?' Cleo begged the girl.

'I'm wearing blue.'

'It's dark blue,' Cleo argued, 'and you never wear anything else!'

'Why, should I wear something different?'

Cleo scowled. Sometimes she wondered if L'risia had hung around Xelloss as a child. She said things like that on purpose. Zel, Lina and Gourry walked in front of them, and Kai'ila called out cheerfully, 

'Hello!'

Lina turned around.

'Hi! Are you waiting for someone?'

'No, not really, we were just resting actually. Did you want to join us for lunch?'

'LUNCH?!' shrieked Lina, drooling. Zel sweatdropped as she and Gourry dived on the huge picnic basket Cleo had pulled out from a pocket dimension behind the tree. 

'How embarrassing.' He muttered. 'Sorry if they eat all your lunch, ladies-'

'No problem.' Cleo shrugged. 'There's plenty in there. It's practically bottomless.'

L'risia winced from where she was still reclining on the branch. 

'I'm not hungry.' She muttered. Cleo blinked at her.

'All right. Here, Lina, pass the chicken, don't eat it all! Want some Zel?'

'There's coffee in the thermos.' L'risia put in, having met Zel a few times in this form. He blinked at her.

'Don't I know you?'

'Ah- yes, I think we met north about a year ago.' L'risia said, pretending it just occurred to her. She'd been on a business trip to sort out Dynast of behalf of L-sama, and Zel had- interrupted. Luckily for Dynast.  'You're Zelgadis Greywords?'

'That's right-ah- these are my friends, Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev.'

L'risia raised an eyebrow as Cleo and Kai'ila stopped and looked rathe pointedly at Lina's hands. Lina became aware of the group's scrutiny of her left hand, and saw Zel's wide-eyed expression.

'And that,' L'risia said with a certain amount of shy satisfaction, 'would be about a 1000 carat diamond engagement ring, wouldn't it Lina.'

'Er-well-um-you see-ah-'

'YOU TWO ARE ENGAGED?!' Zelgadis shouted, and then grinned before falling over laughing, dropping the coffee cup. Kai'ila, Cleo and L'risia sweatdropped as the chimera struggled to get a hold on himself, while Lina and Gourry both went so red and hot Xelloss, had he been present, would have tried frying eggs on their heads. 

'Zel- breathe!' Kai'ila advised, slapping his back. He coughed, and stopped laughing. He looked at the wildly embarrassed pair. 

'How long?'

'A year and a half.' Muttered Lina. 

'What's Amelia going to say?'

Lina's cheeks sucked into the sides of her mouth. 'EEP! I forgot how close we are to Sailoon! Oh no!'

'This should be interesting.' L'risia commented. Cleo looked at her suspiciously.

'Did you plan this, L'ri?'

'Me? I thought it was you!'

'Well, it wasn't me.' 

They looked at Kai'ila, who made a rather poor attempt at whistling.

'KAI'ILA!'

'I didn't do it. I'm serious.'

L'risia started to smirk, drawing the attention of her two friends as well as Lina, Gourry and Zel.

'L'risia, are you sure you didn't have anything to do with this?'

'I didn't-much-'

'Well who did!?'

L'risia smiled, closing her eyes. She waggled her finger at the group, winking.

'That is a secret!'

They face faulted, yelling, 'XELLOSS!'

'I. Will. Kill. That. Stupid. Fruitcake. Mazoku.' Lina growled as Amelia bounced up to them, * someone * having told her where they were.

'Mister Zelgadis! Miss Lina! Mister Gourry! It's so nice to see you again!'

'Yeah, you two Amelia.' Lina smiled, happy at seeing her friend but trying nervously to keep her hand behind her back. Amelia, now nineteen, hugged Lina and Gourry and sort of hesitated when she came to Zelgadis, but eventually hugged him anyway. The chimera blushed a furious red. L'risia turned her face away so he couldn't see her grin, but Cleo and Kai'ila snickered openly. 

'Ah- it's good to see you to Amelia.'

'Really?'

'Ah- yeah, sure.'

Amelia blushed happily and looked at Lina curiously. 'What's that you're hiding behind your b-'

'OH BY CEIFIED!' shouted a familiar female voice, 'MISS LINA, YOU'RE ENGAGED!'

Amelia blinked and looked at Lina, stunned, then shouted,

'WHAAA-AAT? To who?' she looked at Zel for a second.

'Gourry.' Zel reassured quickly. The thought of marrying Lina terrified him. Gourry was a brave man. Amelia looked somewhat relieved. 

'That's so great! How are you Filia-san?'

Filia was standing in the pathway holding onto the eight-year-old Valgarv's hand. 


	2. Whoops!! Dynast and a secret slipped

'This is so embarrassing.' Lina muttered as Filia stared at the ring on her hand. Young Val blinked.

'WOW!' he shouted, diving for it, 'What a rock!'

Filia darted forward, pulling him back. 'Control yourself dear. Miss Lina, are you and Gourry finally engaged? For how long?'

'A year and a half.' Supplied Kai'ila, since Lina seemed to be incoherent. Filia gave the redhead and her two companions a queer look.

'Who're you three?'

'Ah- my name is Kai'ila and these are my friends Cleo and L'risia.'

'Pleased to meet you.' Filia smiled, 'this is my son Val, and my name is Filia Ul Copt. Are you travelling with Lina?'

'Actually-' L'risia started, but Cleo stepped on her foot.

'Yes, we were joining them on their way to Sailoon, actually!' 

Zelgadis and Gourry blinked.

'You were?'

'Yes,' Kai'ila said, 'we were.'

'Ah-'

'Oh, it's okay!' Amelia said cheerfully, 'I want you all to stay at the palace for a while! L'risia, Kai'ila and Cleo can too if they want!'

'Have you seen Lina around?'

'No- have you tried the kitchen.'

'Well, I was going to, but someone said the cook was having a- oh, right. I think I'll just stay clear of that end then.'

L'risia nodded and grinned to Cleo, who'd been looking for the redhead. Cleo pouted. 

'She'd better not eat all the food.'

'Is that all you think about?' L'risia demanded, sliding down the banisters. Cleo followed.

'No-o, actually I was wondering when Xelloss will turn up.'

'What makes you think he will?'

'He always turns up- he follows Lina around like a bad smell!'

'I resent that!' Xelloss said cheerfully, appearing at the bottom of the banisters. The girls squeaked.

'Ack not-'

CRASH

'Ow.' L'risia shoved Cleo off her and looked down at Xelloss. 'What the hell are you grinning for?'

'Well- that really, really hurt!' he grinned. She blinked.

'I forgot who I was talking to.' She muttered, brushing off her dress. 'Have you seen Kai'ila around Cleo?'

'I think she's talking to Amelia and drinking tea.'

Xelloss went bug-eyed.

'Filia's here?!'

'Didn't you know?'

'Ah- no.'

L'risia and her friend blinked at the annoyed-looking Mazoku. Lina, making a timely entrance, burst into the room and spotted the priest with the two girls.

'FRUITCAKE!' she roared, leaping on him and proceeding to pound him into the ground. In between giggles and punches, Xelloss asked,

'Lina-chan! What did I do?!?!?!'

'DON'T CALL ME CHAN! YOU TOLD AMELIA WHERE WE WERE YOU FRUITCAKE AND YOU KNEW I WAS ENGAGED-'

'He did?'

'You did?'

'I did?'

Lina stared at him. 'Well- you always seemed to know and everything about it kinda pointed to you- I mean not that I mind running into Amelia but the engagement thing is kind of embarrassing-'

'Don't you want to marry me, Lina?' Gourry asked.

'Of course I want to marry you, jellyfish brains!' Lina shouted, blushing, 'it's just that everyone- makes such a big deal out of it-'

'We can forget, if you want.' L'risia offered. 'Or act like the ring isn't there.'

'You'll get over the embarrassment.' Cleo reassured her, 'just as long as Amelia doesn't find it necessary to tell the entire city, that is.'

Xelloss started to sneak off, but Lina dived, grabbing his cape.

'And where do you think YOU'RE going?' she asked sweetly. 'You wouldn't be going off to tell Amelia to do exactly that, WERE you.'

'That is a secret!' Xelloss grinned, giggling. Lina's eyes narrowed dangerously.

'Xelloss, if you DARE even SUGGEST the idea to Amelia I will Laguna blade you. I mean it.'

'Lina-chan!' he gasped, 'you wouldn't!'

'I would.' She said, smiling nastily. Xelloss bowed his head.

'As your wish, madam.' 

'That's better.' She grinned, patting the top of his purple head. L'risia rolled her eyes and folded her arms. Suddenly there was a scream, and impressive explosion and Filia, Amelia and Kai'ila ran screaming bloody murder into the entrance hall.

'Er- something wrong?'

Filia calmed down and brushed off her dress. Behind her, smoke cleared away to reveal a puzzled-looking Val, staring at his hands. 

'What happened?' he asked, brushing soot out of his eyes. Zelgadis walked in through another door from the garden, looking rather hassled. 

'I said a little power, Val.'

'Sorry Mr Zelgadis.'

Zel waved a hand. 'I guess it's okay- but it's a pity about the wall.' He sighed. 'That was a good wall.'

Val and him started to snicker and stopped as Amelia found a place to stand on the top of the stairs.

'Oh no.' muttered Lina. 

'I WILL FIND THE CULPRIT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS INJUSTICE! I WILL CRUSH THEM-'

'Ah- Amelia?'

'What is it Mr Zelgadis?'

'Would you come down from there please? It was Val and me, and if you fall from up there you're going to hurt yourself.'

'You mean- YOU TWO CAUSED THAT?'

'Uh-'

Zelgadis and Val had the decency to look embarrassed. 

'Val-' Filia growled warningly. 

'Actually- I was teaching Val a few spells but for some reason they seem to magnify a lot.' The chimera shrugged. 'Sorry about the wall, Amelia.'

Lina looked sidelong at Xelloss, who was giggling. 'Xelloss?'

'Yes Lina-chan?'

'Shut up.'

At the dinner table, the group sat there. Obviously. Zelgadis had eaten a small plate and was now asking for coffee, then ordering double when L'risia announced she needed caffeine. Kai'ila was eating cold chips and gravy, much to L'risia's disgust and Cleo, who had been through six slices of pizza, was nicking them at every possible opportunity. Lina and Gourry were mowing their way through the plates and various dishes at an even more impressive rate than usual while Xelloss was annoying Filia and getting his food that way. Valgarv was cheering his mother AND Xelloss one, whoever looked like winning. 

Suddenly the lights went out.

'HEY! WHO KILLED THE LIGHTS!' shouted Lina.

'Do you think we'd all be asking the same thing if we knew?' L'risia asked calmly, casting a light spell. The others, except Gourry and Lina and Xelloss, was at this moment was a giggling yet incoherent puddle on the floor, did the same. They looked at each other.

'Well no one's dead, that's a good start.' L'risia said dryly.

'Must you always be such a pessimist?'

'It's the basic storyline! The lights suddenly go out, there's a blood-curdling scream and then it turns out someone's dead.'

'There wasn't a blood curdling-'

'EEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

'-scream.' Zelgadis finished as everyone's hair stood on end, except for L'risia, who looked like she'd been expecting it.

'And that would be Dynast. Cue demonic demented laughter.'

'MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-'

Lina recovered herself. 'SHUT UP ALREADY! L'ri, you said that was Dynast?!'

'Yes. He's quite the one for drama.' 

'It's all that time in the freezing cold by himself,' Kai'ila said, as L'ri folded her arms and rolled her eyes. 'He watches way too much television.'

'His FOX bill will be enormous!'

'Yeah, never mind the electricity- I don't even think he paid off for installation yet-'

'He didn't,' Xelloss said cheerfully, 'he was asking my Master for the dosh bef- how do you know Dynast?'

'Uh-oh.'

'Whoops.'

'You and your big mouth, L'ri.'

'I guess you rubbed off on me, Cleo.'

'JUST WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU IMPLYING?!'

'Nothing, nothing-'

Lina stormed up to L'risia and collared the young woman while Xelloss and Zelgadis, acting for once in tandem, slid behind the trio so they couldn't escape.

'How do you know so much about Dynast?' Lina demanded, and then an amused voice that sounded a bit like Clint Eastwood said,

'Oh yes, do tell them ladies- it's such a gripping scene- our heroines, stopped in the middle of their battle for justice by the evil Lord Dynast are now forced to reveal the truth as-'

'AH SHUT UP!'

Author's notes- I don't know what the plot is yet, can't you tell?!?! Oh well! Until next time!

Star


	3. Three Priestesses and the Battle of the ...

L'risia broke away from Lina's chokehold and rubbed her neck.

'Ow.' She muttered. 

'How-do-you-know-about-Dynast?' Filia asked, her mace out. L'risia sighed and got back in her seat, waiting for her companions to stop talking.

'Well- it sort of goes back a long way-' Kai'ila began. 'L'risia! You write stories! You tell them!'

L'risia went bug-eyed.

'Me? I can't talk for that long!'

'Just do it!' Cleo snapped, and looked at the table. 'Hey Gourry! That was MY JELLYBEAN YOU PIG!!'

Ignoring the argument going on in the background, L'risia waved her hands. 

'What the HELL?' Lina and Zelgadis shouted. They now stood in front of a beautiful lake, mountains in the background and the grass blowing around their ankles.

'I tell stories here.' L'risia said from where she was sitting in a tree. Lina turned around and narrowed her eyes.

'You wouldn't be Xelloss's sister would you?'

'You're a lot closer than you may realise.' The cobalt-haired girl said wryly. Xelloss blinked. Before anyone could react, L'risia shut her eyes and settled back against the trunk.

'This is where we sit down.' Cleo reminded the group, pausing yelling at Gourry. Everyone obediently sat down and fixed their eyes on the strange young storyteller. 

'A very long time ago when the Ancient Dragons were still alive and well, L-sama decided she needed some other people with powers of both light and dark- so she created the Priestesses of Ancient Chaos. The eldest of these was Cleopatra, a tall blonde dressed in purple and possibly the loudest of the trio. Cleo usually took charge of bossing the Ancient Dragons around- er- although she wouldn't put it quite like that. Advising them, for want of a better word, when they swayed to either side of their unusual powers. It was important for them to remain neutral- destruction from the Golden Dragons or the Mazoku was always a threat. The second eldest, created a day after Cleo, was Kai'ila, a redhead with a happiness complex and dressed in a sunshine yellow. Kai'ila, while not sharing Cleo's passion for the social life of the world, usually accompanied her and looked after the children of the Dragons, and the least easy to anger of the trio L-sama created. The youngest was L'risia, a girl of dark blue hair and dressed in black, much to the consternation of her companions. L'risia was the quietest of the three and spent much of her time reading to anyone who would listen, and took up a role as the teacher of the legends and races to the Dragons, and keeping an eye on the world outside the keep. '

'What happened?' Amelia asked. 

'Ssh.' Zelgadis hushed her as L'risia continued.

'After a while, L'risia noticed the Golden Dragons fear of the Ancient Dragons. By this time the Priestesses had been around for so long, the leaders of the Ancients barely listened to their advice anymore, fancying they knew enough from the previous thousands of years of observation and guidance. She went to Cleo and Kai'ila, who warned the leaders of the possible danger. One dragon listened- his name was Val Agres.' 

Filia's blue eyes widened and then narrowed and Cleo, who was eating jellybeans. Cleo smiled sadly.

'Too bad no one else listened.' Xelloss commented. Kai'ila brought her elbow down on his head and L'risia paused, waiting for silence. Kai'ila sat on Xelloss's chest and shoved a sick into his mouth. Filia giggled at the Trickster Priest's expression.

'Keep going, L'ri.'

'Take the sock out of his mouth, Kai'ila, we didn't do the washing this week.'

Xelloss spat out the sock. 'EEEEEW!' he yelled, sounding like a child. 'Gomen ne, L'ri- please continue, I will sort out Kai'ila later.'

'You can TRY.'

'Shut up!'

'….' L'ri managed, before shrugging and continuing. 'Val told a few outside the leaders, but of course no one would listen, having felt secure for so long. He eventually gave up, and when and attack didn't come, he dismissed the priestesses' warnings as speculation. A few years later, the Golden Dragons struck. The carnage was horrible and within a week it was all over and the once peaceful keep of Ancient Dragons blood-soaked and smelling of burnt and mauled flesh. Even the children were killed, the Golden Dragons so through in their fear of the mysterious and unusual powers of the Ancient Dragons. With the deaths of hundreds, the three priestesses became weak and almost powerless. They had killed a few attacking dragons, but not succeeded in defending their- what they termed cousins. The Golden Dragons found they could not touch the trio, and dismissed them as un-important, leaving the keep drenched in death and carnage. The three left the keep, destroying every trace that it was ever there and regained their strength in a small deserted temple on a mountain close to their old home. Then they realised Val Arges was alive. They watched him curse, wounded, but they were still too weak to help him, when Gaav came to him. And the rest of his life, you know. Through Valgaav's life as part dragon-part-Mazoku, we regained our power, leaving us as we are now, though not as powerful as we once were. L-sama sort of gets us to do odd jobs around the place, which is how we know about Dynast. I was there last year actually- then Zelgadis arrived, in the process saving Dynast's butt.'

L'risia smiled ruefully and shook her head, shrugging. 'I'll get him back later.'

The group blinked at her.

'So that's what you meant when you said you were related to Xelloss-'

'In a way, yes, personally I think L'risia is just a shy version of Xelloss crossed with Zelgadis, she's really moody-'

'Thanks.' L'risia said sarcastically. 'You're really nice, Cleo. Thankyou.'

'Anytime!'

'L-sama-Beastmaster- Xelloss- so, what you'd be like Xelloss's great-aunts?' Gourry asked. L'risia fell out of her tree laughing. Cleo collared him.

'IF YOU EVER INSINUATE THAT I'M THAT OLD AGAIN-'

'But you are.' Zelgadis said calmly. Cleo gave him a death glare.

'Fine, just DON'T MENTION IT!'

Xelloss burst into giggles along with Kai'ila and L'risia. Gourry scratched his head, and Filia looked annoyed, and Amelia, Lina and Zel shrugged at each other.

'Probably runs in the family.'

They were back in the real world, and L'risia blinked at a young man waiting for them, feet up on the table. 

'How come he looks like Carrot Glace?' Kai'ila asked her. L'risia shrugged.

'I'll never get used to it either.'

'Who's Carrot Glace?' Cleo asked. L'risia said and folded her arms. 

'Cleo- never mind. We've got bigger problems.'

'THAT'S DYNAST?' Lina demanded.

'Yeah.'

'What's wrong Lina?' Xelloss grinned.

'He just looks- sort of- wet.'

Xelloss giggled in his fruitcake manner as Amelia agreed.

'Well, yeah, but Xelloss doesn't usually look like a General-Priest of the Beastmaster either.' Kai'ila said. Xelloss laughed harder.

'It's all part of my genius!' he announced, doing an Amelia impression, teleporting onto of the table.

'I see you haven't changed in the least, Xelloss.' Dynast smirked. Xelloss grinned at him.

'Not in the least.'

Dynast gripped the edge of the table and turned it over with a flick of his little finger, sending the trickster headlong into the wall on the over side of the room. Zelgadis caught a flying cream pie.

'Oh- raspberries too.' He said, lifting up the corner. 'Would you like some Amelia?'

'Thanks!' Amelia said, getting over the little special smile Zel gave her as he tossed the pie to her. _How did he know it was my favourite?_ She wondered, scooping out a piece with her hand and licking her fingers. Kai'ila, across the room watched the little exchange and nodded to L'risia, who grinned in return. 

'Amelia! Don't eat all of it!' Lina said, making a beeline for it. Amelia dodged out of her way. Lina overbalanced and fell face-first on the ground.

'hehe!'

'Amelia! Gimme that pie it's the only thing not destroyed!'

'SO go to the kitchen!'

'I WANT IT NOW!'

'No way!'

'Let's settle this then.' Lina said, fire in her eyes. Amelia passed the pie to Filia. 'Look after this please, Filia-san.'

The girls stalked to opposite end of the dining hall.

'Excuse me!' Dynast yelled. 'HELLO? I'M A DARK LORD AND YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER A CREAM PIE?!?!'

'Shut up, this is important!'

'Come on Lina!' Gourry cheered. Xelloss produced flags in each hand, one saying 'Go Lina!', the other saying, 'Go Amelia!'

'YAY WHOEVER LOOKS LIKE WINNING!' he shouted, waving them frantically. Filia smashed him with her mace. 

'Namagomi!'

'Ten paces then shoot.' L'risia called, counting. 'Eight! Seven! Six! Five!-' Kai'ila and Cleo hid behind the table. Zelgadis leapt over to join them as L'risia broke off to scurry behind a clock. She reached out and tossed Gourry to Zel.

'Four!' now everyone joined in as the two girls took the steps forward, backs to each other and hands free. 'Three!' 

Kai'ila put her hands over her head and Xelloss handed around army hard-hats.

'Two!'

They lay down on the ground.

'One!'

'BURST RONDO!'

'BRAM GUST!'

Author Note- Thnx to all the people who reviewed!! I have exams coming up so the chapters might be a bit slow for a week or so! Gomen ne I'll keep trying to get the chapters up!!

Ja ne!

StarChibi ^_^


	4. Dragon Ball Z and TSUNAMI!!!

_Author Notes_: thnx for the reviews again people!! I've totally lost the plot to the story so bare with me for I while I get the silly juice out of me- I don't know what's in what I had for dinner….^_^

Kai'ila waited until the echoes had died away, objects had stopped crashing down around their ears and the dust had settled on the ground. Slowly she, Cleo, Xelloss, Filia, Gourry, Zel and L'risia peered out from their hiding spots.

'Oh dear.' Zelgadis managed. Xelloss giggled, earning a smack from Filia. 

'For two spells-' L'risia murmured, stepping out and looking at the prone 

body of Amelia, who was closest. Gourry was examining Lina, whom he'd picked up in his arms.

'Lina? Can you hear me?'

'Filia- healing spells would be a good idea, I think,' Zel said, taking charge, 'and then if we can find some guest rooms-'

'Good idea Zel.' Kai'ila nodded as the chimera picked up Amelia. 'Gourry, you and Zel and Filia look after our two gluttons. We'll take care of Dynast.'

L'risia picked up the pie Filia had carefully put down and waited until the others had disappeared up the stairs, not wanting to encounter the dragon's wrath when she found out what she next suggested. 

'Anyone hungry?'

'EXCUSE ME!' Dynast roared. Cleo licked her cream-topped fingers and ignored Xelloss and his cream moustache behind her. 

'Yes? Oh, did you want some?'

'Xelloss- now you've got a beard!' giggled L'risia.

'You're a bit whiskery yourself.' He retorted, indicating the line of pinkish cream around her lips. There was a groan from under the table, drawing the attention of everyone, even the fuming Dynast, who was ready to blow anything that looked remotely like annoying him- namely, everything. A boy of about fifteen threw the table off him.

'Thanks for the help you guys.' He muttered, brushing off his white trousers. 

'Val? Zat you?'

'Of course its me!'

They blinked at the young dragon before L'risia snapped her fingers.

'Of course! I'd forgotten how quickly the physical appearance of Dragons matures!'

He scratched his green hair and blinked at Dynast.

'Who're you?'

They ducked as a blast sped over the youth's had and obliterated the remaining south wall. Cleo wailed,

'Now there's brick dust in the pie you creep!'

Xelloss giggled.

'Val, this is Dynast.' Kai'ila sighed. L'risia wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and raised a cool eyebrow at the dark lord.

'Could we take this somewhere else?'

'Outside?!' shrieked Cleo and Kai'ila. 'THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED! BREATHING, MEANING THEY ARE ALIVE?!?!' 

' I meant the astral plane.'

'…..oh.'

'Aw but that's no fun!' Xelloss pouted. L'risia rolled her eyes and looked at Val sidelong.

'I don't think you should come, Val. Your mother's somewhere upstairs.'

'Since when do you give me orders?'

'Well- actually that was more a of suggestion-'

'Besides, what else are you going to do?' Xelloss asked with a grin.

'COULD WE GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY?!' Dynast shouted, his eyes glowing a furious shade of red. 'I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR AGES AND ALL YOU DO IS CHAT WHILE I AM WAITING PATIENTLY FOR YOU TO GROVEL AT MY FEET AND BEG FOR MERCY-'

'Well in that case you can keep waiting!' Cleo said. 'FILIA YOUR SON WON'T GO AWAY!'

'I want to come with you.' Val said stubbornly, folding his arms.

'Ah- I don't think that's- a good idea.' L'risia said timidly. The boy might look fifteen but he was already a bit taller than her, just shorter than Cleo and Kai'ila. Val glared at her. Dynast sighed grumpily.

'I remembered that Dragon Ball Z is starting now.' He said with a growl. 'BUT I'LL BE BACK!!'

With that, he disappeared. Xelloss scratched his head.

'How rude.'

'What's Dragon Ball Z?' Val asked.

'What a loser.'

'Did he mean the new saga or the old one because I haven't seen the new one yet-'

'Neither have I. He'd better not!' 

Xelloss stared at Kai'ila and L'risia, who were responsible for the last two comments.  

'You two WATCH THAT SHOW?'

'Yes. My favourite character is Vegeta.' Kai'ila grinned. Xellos giggled.

'I liked Frieza.'

'You would!'

'Cell was pretty cool though-'

'He was the bad guy!'

'…and you point is?'

'Forgot who I was talking to.' Kai'ila muttered to L'risia, who grinned. Cleo rolled her eyes.

'Could we get off this. DYNAST JUST GOT AWAY?'

'So? He was pissing me off anyway.'

Cleo sighed and sat down heavily on the floor, looking at the remains of the food.

'Is there anymore of that pie left?'

Filia came down the stairs just in time to hear this, and her blue gaze fell on the last piece her son had sneaked out of the tray.

'YOU ATE IT!'

Xelloss grinned at Filia. L'risia teleported. Kai'ila and Cleo hid behind the table again and Val swallowed the pie hurriedly. 

'There are times,' Kai'ila said to Cleo as Filia descended on her son like an avenging angel. 

'Eep-'

'Filia I don't think-'

'SHUT UP NAMAGOMI!!!'

L'risia appeared, mad as hell, an unusual sight but a scary one. 

'IT **IS** THE NEW SAGA!'

'WHAA-AAT!' Kai'ila shouted, teleporting. L'risia disappeared. Filia stopped bashing Xelloss.

'What was all that about?' she asked. Val shot Xelloss a grateful look before dashing upstairs.

'VAL COME BACK HERE I HAVEN'T FINISHED WITH YOU YET!'

'Aw Filia but we were having so much fun!' Xelloss protested, 'hit me again, PLEASE!'

Cleo giggled, watching him slam into a wall. 'Idiot.'

'Ooh Filia-san again!'

' I think I'll go find Zel and Gourry now-' Cleo muttered, disappearing.

'Oh, there you are Cleo. Where are L'ri and Kai'ila?'

'Watching Dragon Ball Z, I believe.' The priestess sighed, joining the chimera, Gourry and Val out on the grass. 

'What Dragon Ball Z?' they asked.

'It's televis- never mind.' 

Xelloss appeared, giggling his head off. Zelgadis scowled at him. 

'What?'

'He was tormenting Filia again.' Cleo sighed. 'Speaking of which- we- sort of ate the pie Lina and Amelia were fighting over.'

Zel blanched. 

'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THEY WILL DO WHEN THEY FIND OUT?!'

'I've been avoiding thinking about it.' Cleo said primly. 'Do you think the cook would bake another one?'

'The kitchen was destroyed.' Val pointed out. 'Along with most of the hall and walls.'

'Good thing Phil isn't here-' Zel muttered. Gourry brightened up.

'I have idea! We'll just blame it on Xelloss!'

'What?'

'Him?'

'Me?'

'Why?'

Gourry blinked. 'Well- it's the kind of thing he'd do and if Lina does anything but Ragna blade him, he'll enjoy it, won't he?'

'Good point Gourry.' Val said. Cleo, Xelloss and Zel just stared at the blonde swordsman.

'I don't believe it.' Zel muttered, rubbing his head. 

'Neither do I.'

'Gourry just had a relevant idea.' Xelloss said rather grumpily, 'BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT I HAVE TO FACE LINA!!'

Filia walked into the garden, serenity hanging off her like a ball dress. In her hands she was holding a cream and raspberry pie.

'Filia-san!' 

'Where'd you get that?'

'Can I have a piece?'

'Oh mother DEAR-'

'DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! THIS PIE IS TO KEEP LINA AND AMELIA FOR DRAGON-SLAVING AND RA-TILTING US ALL INTO THE NEXT-'

'Cup of tea?' L'risia said, appearing out of nowhere and dropping the teapot and cups on the grass, materialising a picnic set as well.

'I thought you were watching Dragon Ball Z.' Cleo said curiously, 'It's not over yet is it?'

'No, it's an ad break!' L'risia said cheerfully before disappearing again.

'Dear L-sama those two have a problem-'

Valgarv currently looked about nineteen or twenty and was leaning out over the newly installed pool. The girls and his mother – who looked no older than they but he couldn't shake the knowledge that she was- Xelloss and Gourry were having a game of volleyball. Zel was sitting on the side playing ref, saying he preferred not to swim because he tended to sink, and added a rather nasty look at Lina as he said that.  

A chibi of Cleo appeared and sat down next to him. He sweat dropped.

'Er- Cleo?'

'Yes?'

'Why are you so small?'

'DON'T KNOCK CHIBI'S!'

'Okay, okay-'

The chibi-Cleo walked along the rail. 'Why aren't you down there helping?'

Val paused.

'I can't swim.'

'….oh.'

Lina smashed the ball over the net and it hit Xelloss in the head. Filia applauded loudly as the trickster lay face-first and swirly-eyed in the water. 

'No fair Lina!' he said, getting up.

'Why?' said girl asked.

'I'll get back to you on that one. My serve!'

'We got the point!'

'Too late!' Xelloss reached up and smacked the ball back over the net. It skimmed off the water, knocked over Filia's teapot, was on course to hit Zel on the head but he bashed it away, the ball flew straight through a tree and powered into Val's chest, sending him crashing against the window. Cleo winced as her companions appeared, looking at the fallen and groaning young dragon.

'Do I want to know?' L'risia asked Amelia. The princess shook her head. L'risia and Kai'ila pulled Val up, and Cleo rolled the ball thoughtfully along her left arm. L'risia promptly turned into a chibi and rose into the air, sitting cross-legged. Kai'ila looked at her in disgust.

'I wish you wouldn't do that.'

'What?' chibi-L'ri grinned. 

'That- yaaaaaah! LINA-SAN BEHIND YOU!'

'Eh?'

Xelloss's eyes opened wide in surprise at the tsunami barrelling in on the group in the pool.

'AMELIA!' Zel shouted. 

'LINA FILA!'

'MUM!'

'WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!' yelled L'risia. 'FREEZE ARROW!'

She cast the spell at the same time as her companions, freezing the wall of water solid. An invisible hand carved in slowly, 

" With Hate, from Dynast."

'That's sick.' Cleo muttered. 'We are going to have to sort this guy out.'

'Yeah.' L'risia was examining the frozen wave. 'HE PUT BUBBLE-BATH IN THIS?!'

'Really?' Xelloss said.

'Yes!'

Lina was furious.

'WE WERE WINNING!' she roared, kicking the wave, it shattered into tiny crystals like watching dominos made of stars collapse, a magical little tinkling sound as the flakes of ice hit the water. Her friends backed away from her slightly. Even Xelloss looked pissed off.

'If you'll excuse me-' he said, disappearing. Lina growled,

'I vote we find Dynast and kick his ass.'

'Er Lina I don't know if that's such a good-'

'ZEL?! HOW CAN YOU BE SO SELFISH, HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!'

'Besides you had a bet going with Xelloss that if he lost he had to buy you and all-you-can eat at the classy restaurant in town.' Zelgadis said with a smirk. She gave him a Death Glare.


	5. Casper the not-so-friendly and very-aliv...

_Author Notes_: cool! More reviews! Yay! I love reviews ^_^ anyway. I'm trying to establish some sort of plot midst the insanity here, people! Hope it works!

_Disclaimer_: I don't own slayers blah blah blah, you know the drill. L'ri, Cleo and Kai'ila are creations of my own warped imagination though so hands off. No touchie! 

Lina-tachi near a fork in the road. Actually, one side was blocked off so they really had no alternative but to take the left side- but I needed a sentence to start the story. 

However- this is Lina Inverse we are discussing. And, in the words of Xelloss before he was smeared across the canyon wall like vegemite on toast,

'If Lina-chan wants to take one road, she will TAKE that road no matter if there was a five-course meal and a pile of treasure behind her.'

(as the author I doubt this but it sounds like the dumb comment Xelloss would make) 

So, as the situation was, Lina's friends hid behind a boulder with their fingers in their ears and armed with sunglasses and army hats. 

'DRAGON-SLAVE!'

Lina brushed off her hands and peeked over the top of the boulder.

'You can come out now.'

'I don't see why we couldn't have taken the OTHER path, Lina-san.' L'risia said. 

'There's a town closer on this side,' Lina said, and went starry-eyed. 'With food, and real beds-'

'Shopping?' Cleo said hopefully. L'risia rolled her eyes at her friend. 

'Probably, Cleo, but you spent all the money in the last town we stopped at remember?'

'I found some more.' Cleo said vaguely with a wave of her hand as the group continued on their way, kicking aside remaining pebbles. L'risia's grey eyes narrowed at the blonde and Kai'ila said suspiciously,

'Where?'

'Oh, you know, lying around.' Cleo said, the realisation dawning on her it was probably not an intelligent diversion line. 

'WHERE was it lying around?'

'Uh-in the-bank-'

L'risia disappeared with a growl. 'I'll be back with a sword for you as well, Kai'ila.'

'Right. HOW MUCH DID YOU TAKE?'

'Not much!'

'Yeah right. L'ri?'

L'risia appeared a little way up the road and waited until the group caught up. 

'It's very unjust of you to go around taking other people's money, Miss Cleo-' Amelia was saying. L'risia looked amused at Cleo's pained expression.

'Tell you what Cleo. We'll let Amelia give you lessons about borrowing money for the rest of the way, and you can go shopping, otherwise we'll tie you to the bed in the next in and wave the latest surf shoes in your face.'

Cleo snorted. 

'Please, Princess, continue.'

'Do I want to know where Cleo went?' Val asked at the table that night. L'risia was sitting on the chandelier a little to the left of the table, and looked down, shaking her head.

'It's late-night shopping, Val.'

'Oh.'

L'risia turned her attention back to the grey box she had on her lap.

'What's that L'ri-san?' 

'Er- you wouldn't understand, I'm afraid Amelia.'

Amelia pouted. 'Try me!'

'Its- not something from this world, princess.'

Xelloss floated up and looked over L'risia's shoulder. He tapped it.

'I've seen one of these; Zelas has one by her chair. She said it's from a world on a parallel-plane to this, a bit like this world-but different.'

'Ye-es.' L'risia said reluctantly, looking at Kai'ila, who smacked her forehead. 'Ah-'

'IT'S A COMPUTER!' Xelloss shouted gleefully, yanking it from her hands.

'Give that back you-you fruitcake!' shouted L'risia. 'I haven't saved it yet!'

'Saved what, this?' Xelloss looked at the writing on the blue-tinted screen. His eyes widened (they opened) and were dragged to the end of the sentence. Suddenly the Trickster Priest fell out of the air and landed cross-legged on the ground, reading furiously. 

'He can _read_.' Observed Zelgadis rather nastily. L'risia looked completely mortified.

'GIVE IT BACK!'

Xelloss waved a hand vaguely and caught the mace Filia swung at him easily, pulled it out of her grip and gave it to Kai'ila without looking up.

'Eh?'

'Look after this-' he said abstractedly.  Kai'ila blinked at the Mazoku and then at L'risia.

'That must be a really good story.'

'Of course _he_ thinks it is. He's one of the bloody main characters.'

The next morning, Cleo still hadn't returned. This was, as L'risia put it, rather worrying since she was unsupervised and tended to act irresponsibly with alcohol.

'I'm sure she can look after herself.' Amelia said. Kai'ila snorted over her cup of tea.

'YOU'VE never seen her drunk.'

'Yeah- one time she got so drunk she was staggering around singing the theme song to star wars-' Val stopped. L'risia dropped her cup of coffee. Xelloss dramatically spat out the bacon he had taken from Lina's plate. Zel's blue eyes widened, while Lina and Amelia just stared at the dragon, mouths open, along with his mother.

'YOU REMEMBER THAT!?' Kai'ila shouted. 'THAT WAS MILLENIA AGO!'

'Er- seems like yesterday-' Val said, trailing off. Filia blinked at him.

'….' Zel managed. 

L'risia disappeared.

'Where'd she go?'

'Probably to ask Mother what the hell is going on.'

'Mother?' Xelloss asked, looking amused. 'If mine is Zelas than your is-'

'L-SAMA!'

'Well- yeah.' Kai'ila said, looking at their expressions. 'What?! We told you before! Can we go find Cleo now?'

They found her. Well- technically, the entire city found her before they did. They just went in the opposite direction in which they were running- it was a bit like looking for Lina Inverse.

'Look for the destruction and listen for screams.' Zelgadis snickered, and ducked a fireball. 

'HEY! CLEO!' yelled Xelloss as they neared a smoking crater. 'You alive?' he asked quite cheerfully.

'Yes!'

Cleo wandered out of the dust. 'Oh its you.' She said, looking thrilled. (not) 

'Listen we have a problem. And his name is Casper.'

'The Friendly Ghost?'

'This one, though I wish he were dead- he is far from it and also definitely not-'

They all ducked a sheet of fire as it scythed over their heads.

'Friendly?' L'risia suggested.

'Yeah.' 

'This wouldn't be Caspnast…?'

'You got it.'

L'risia rasied an eyebrow. 'Dynast's priest? I thought he was dead!'

'So did I, you can imagine my shock when he tapped me on the shoulder and then tried to kill me.'

'Hardly.'

Cleo snorted. 'I didn't actually know it was him.'

'Who else is there?' a curious voice asked. Cleo rolled her eyes. L'risia rolled up her sleeves and pulled a baseball cap out of nowhere. Her clothes changed to blue jeans and a black t-shirt, a blue and white over shirt and green half-gloves. Kai'ila groaned.

'L'risia-'

'I'm on a high.' Her friend grinned, pulling out a red-and-white ball.

'What's that?'

L'risia looked at Val and then the ball in her hand. 'Well- it's supposed to be a Pokeball but since I doubt a Pokemon would be any use against Casper, then it's bottled magic.'

She threw the ball. A young man strode out of the smoke and caught it, looking at it.

'Nothing happened.' Xelloss stated.

'Uh, L'risia?' Zel asked. Kai'ila and Cleo dropped to the drop, fingers in their ears. Gourry, showing an amazing grasp of the situation, grabbed Lina and pulled her down, and Amelia yelled.

'GET DOWN!'

Suddenly a mechanical-L'ri-voice shouted, "RA-TILT!"

BOOM.

Filia coughed the sand out of her mouth and let someone help her up.

'All right Fi-chan?'

'NAMAGOMI!' shrieked the dragon, snatching her hand out of his and smashing him with her mace.

'What was that for?' Cleo asked her, picking herself up, 'he didn't do anything Filia.'

'He-he-he TOUCHED me-'

'Argh-' Cleo groaned in exasperation.

'How did you DO that?' Lina asked L'ri, her eyes starry with all the thoughts that a postponed and bottled spell could have the potential to DO-

'HEY!'

They looked at the youth, his face blackened and he looked REALLY pissed off. He lunged at L'risia.

'Yike.' The girl whimpered, and instinct took over the priestess, forcing her to bring what she had in her hands up and down. There was a splintering crack.

'MY LAPTOP!' she wailed, looking at it.  

She glared at the young man at her feet, and a fire lit her eyes as Cleo and Kai'ila gasped in shock. Kai'ila fumbled through the green electronic-thingys that make the computers work.

'No-' she whimpered. 'IT WAS GETTING TO THE BEST PART YOU BASTARD!'

Cleo lifted the boy up by one finger and drew her right fist back to punch him.

'HOLD IT.' Xelloss ordered, taking him out of her hands. 

'Eh?'

'This ones mine. I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT IN THAT STORY!' he wailed, anime-tears streaming out of his eyes. 'IT WAS SO HEART-WRENCHING!!'

'What was?' 

'In the middle of a fearsome battle and leaving the main characters half dead and wounded, the author chose to leave the end of the chapter hanging as Xelloss and Filia, forced to fight for the same reason stood up to face their mutual enemy, how in one hand had the power to crush them like the broken glass of a wine goblet-' Xelloss wailed dramatically, sniffing. As one, Lina, Gourry, Zel, Filia and Amelia looked at L'risia.

'That wasn't quite it, actually.' She said, rubbing her head in an embarrassed sort of way. 'Get on with it, Xelloss.'

He stopped crying. 'Oh, right-' he grinned his best fruitcake grin at the scowling Casper. 

'Hello. My name is Xelloss, the Trickster Priest.'

'I'm Caspnast, Priest of Dynast and sent to destroy you.' Caper said, wrenching himself out of the trickster's deadly grip around his throat and taking up a fighting stance. 

'How original.' Commented L'risia. 

'Yeah.' Cleo struck a dramatic pose. 'I am the Great and Wonderful Cleo, Queen of Good Fashion Sense and General-All-Around Cool Chic!'

'Modest, too.'

'No one asked you, Zel.'

'AND I am the beautiful and famous Lina Inverse!'

Casper blinked. 'Who?'

'Uh-oh-' Filia said as Lina's eyes glowed scarlet with fury, little veins popping all over her forehead. 'Er- why don't we introduce everyone else?' she said, and muttered to Val, 'go find some water would you Val?'

'Sure.' He trotted off.

'Of course how rude-' Xelloss sighed, and waved a hand at his companions. 'Do excuse my terrible behaviour, Casper. This is Zelgadis- resident stone-boy, Princess Amelia Will Tesla Sailunne, Champion of Justice' he couldn't keep the snicker out of his voice. Casper sniggered. 

'Go on, I'd like to know what names to put on your gravestones. With the exception of you, Xelloss.'

'Why thank you Casper.' Xelloss said, but his purple eyes opened and narrowed dangerously. 'The tall dumb blonde warrior is Gourry, and the red-haired mage you were introduced to before is indeed the famous Lina Inverse, one of the main people responsible for the downfall of Copy Rezo, Gaav and Darkstar-'

'Er- about Gaav-' Amelia said. '-it was really the Hellmaster-'

Xelloss shrugged. 'And the other three are-

'Kai'ila.' Kai'ila grinned. 'Almost as unbearably cheerful as Amelia.'

Casper groaned at the thought.

'Cleo has- already introduced herself, and the one groaning over the grey box you smashed is-'

'**I** SMASHED?!?!' Casper demanded.

'My computer-' L'risia was heard moaning. Cleo rolled her eyes.

'Her name is L'risia, Resident author and anime nut.'

Val came back and dumped the water of a still-raging Lina. Her face went from scarlet to hot pink, although you couldn't see it though the steam for a while. 

'BRAM BLAZER!' shouted her voice, and the spell had no effect whatsoever on Casper, whom it hit. He blinked.

'Oh.' Was all he said. 'My clothes are all dusty-' 

Kai'ila looked at him, narrowing her green eyes. This boy was Dynast's priest- where was the general? Still, they were Mazoku- they never worked together if they could help it. 

Dynast's priest was actually quite good looking and looked a bit like his boss. He had messy brown hair and brown eyes, and was quite tall. He wore navy blue combat pants and a brownish-red short-sleeved tunic, matching boots and had his hands stuck into his pockets. L'risia, who had changed back into her normal clothes picked up the pieces of her computer.

'Can you fix it?' Gourry asked.

'No.'

'Are you sure?'

'Absolutely, Gourry-san.'

'Aw- that's a shame.'

'Yes. It is.'

Controlled anger was building up inside the priestess very, very quickly. Kai'ila finished her assessment of Casper, before Cleo's mind-voice spoke in her head.

_Can you do it?_

_Do what? _Kai'ila replied silently, though she had a feeling she knew what her friend meant.

_That Mazoku-binding spell._

Well- I think so but-' 

_Do it, _L'risia's own telepathic message cut it. She sounded mad as hell. The priestesses' telepathic links were different to normal. Usually they would expose all emotions to the people receiving the message, but this link was different, a separate radio station, so to speak. It was a very finely tuned radio, and the three could control just how much they let on.

_I was just thinking up a really good ending._

Kai'ila nodded.

'Xelloss, would you step aside for a minute?'

'Eh? Kai'ila?' he asked as she pushed him aside and fixed Casper with a steady green gaze.

'Hi!' she said cheerfully, her hands behind her back as she chanted the spell in her mind. 

By Your power 

_Fill my hands with light…_

'Hello.' Casper said, looking at her curiously. 'You wish to fight me?'

'Not really,' she said cheerfully.

Let me bind the darkness 

_And restrain it from the night…_

'What do you plan to do then?'

'I was going to ask you whether you'd like to come with us, actually.'

Through the nightmarish rule 

_That you have over this earth-_

L'risia had a vengeful smile on her face and Cleo smiled angelically as Xelloss, Filia, Lina, Amelia and Zel all started shouting at Kai'ila. Suddenly Filia stopped, noticing the glowing ball of swirling black and white light in Kai'ila's cupped hands behind her back. Xelloss could feel the dark power swirling in an invisible cloud around the girl. 

'What?' Casper laughed, dark power forming in his own hands. 'Foolish girl!' 

'Maybe.'

Guide my hand to bind him 

_And chain him for Your mirth-_

'About now-' murmured L'risia as Zel and Amelia and Lina fell silent. Gourry shut up as well. 

'What're you up to?' Casper asked suddenly. L'risia and Cleo nodded to each other and sent their power to their friend, who used it to force up the aura of swirling black and white lights. 

'_MAZOKU BIND!'_

'WHAT?!' shouted Filia, Zelgadis, Xelloss, Lina and Amelia. Gourry didn't get it. Casper screamed. 

A few seconds later after considerable surprise, agony and fireworks added for dramatic effect by Cleo-

Casper fell down gasping on the dirt road, blood he wasn't supposed to have streaking his face and body. 

'Help him up, someone.' Kai'ila said, slumping to the ground. Val was the first to move from where he'd been standing behind L'risia. Slowly he and Zel pulled the gasping Mazoku to his feet. He looked into Kai'ila's green eyes.

'What- did you do-'

'I cut off your Lord's power. For now, you're almost human.'

'….bloody hell.' Val murmured.

***Well? What did you think?! This is a longer chapter, I know ^_^ but its to make up for the chapters I won't really have time to write for the next week people…gomen!! Exams, you know how it is- tragic. 

Luv the reviews people!

Ja ne

Star-chan. 


	6. Xelloss discovers the Barney Song and th...

_Author Notes_: Screw Exams! Bwahahahahaha! Ahem. I'm getting an idea of what im going to write now but I dunno HOW I'm suppose to get there…I might be able to bit some actually PLOT and actually manage to get on with what I set out to do in the first place, if I'm lucky!! 

Star-chan.

******************************************************************** A few days later… 

'So Casper, you might as well tell us about yourself.' Kai'ila said, sitting next to the depressed ex-Mazoku.

The group was sitting around the cap fire, L'risia in a tree with a new laptop she'd produced out of a pocket dimension and Xelloss in a branch on the opposite side, trying to read as her fingers flew over the keyboard. Cleo was examining her shopping with a sort of starry-eyed pride, the bags piled up around her. Lina and Gourry were talking about something (er. That is, Lina was talking and Gourry was listening.) Zelgadis was leaning against the trunk of a tree and talking to Amelia and Filia, as Amelia turned the sausages on the fire. There was a musical tinkling sound and a giggle from Xelloss.

'Xel!' L'risia said, sounding irritated, as music started. 'I told you not to click that button!'

Xelloss giggled, but L'risia smiled nastily as she edged out of his reach.

'You'll regret that.'

'How, L'ri chan?' Xelloss asked, and his face paled as a cheery voice sang out in a manner that suggested the owner had a bad cold and had inhaled helium one TOOO many long hours…

'I love you, you love me, we're a happy-'

Xelloss fell out of the tree, unconscious and an interesting shade of green. Kai'ila burst out laughing, and a satisfied smile twisted Filia's face. Zelgadis looked a bit pale himself.

'What was that _horrible_ tune, L'ri?'

'The Barney Song.' She said gravely, shutting the lid of the computer, and saying the name as if it were some kind of genocide weapon (actually…I think it could be. If it was played loud enough)

'OH NO!'

Eyes turned on Cleo.

'What's up?' Lina asked, taking a time out of bashing Gourry.

'THE SPARKLES ON MY NEW SINGLET TOP ARE PEELING OFF! I'VE BEEN RIPPED OFF!'

L'risia fell out of the tree and Zel facefaulted. 

'I've been Dynast's priest for a little longer than Xelloss has been Zela's. I'm about one thousand and fifty years old. I don't remember the time when I was human, except that I was very unhappy and mistreated. All I can remember was a burning rage and sadness, and pain. Lots of pain.'

'Poor baby.' Kai'ila said automatically. Cleo rolled her eyes and L'risia sighed, barely pausing in moving her fingers across the keys of her computer to give her friend a Look.

'Excuse me?' Casper said. Kai'ila giggled.

'Sorry, its just a habit I have, I say that to everyone- how's Xelloss doing?'

'He still hasn't woken up. I'd say he's having a bad dream.

'I can't blame him.' L'risia, Val and Zel said at the same time, and grinned sheepishly at each other. Lina rolled her eyes at Amelia. 

Suddenly the world went black.

'Not this AGAIN.' Cleo groaned, sliding her new shoes back into their box in the darkness.

'Yeah. Everyone here? Sound off!' Gourry said in a rare moment of coherence. 

'Lina!'

'Amelia!'

'Filia!'

'Zelgadis.'

'Kai'ila!'

'Cleo!'

'L'risia.'

'Val.'

'Xelloss!'

'Oh, you're awake now? Where's Casper?'

'Yes I'm awake. I have no idea!'

'I'm here.' Casper's grudging voice said. He picked himself up and squinted, waving his arms around.

'Where is every-'

'Excuse _me_.' Kai'ila said, moving out of his arm range.

'Sorry.'

'You'd better be.'

Lights suddenly rippled on around them, revealing their location to be in a long, narrow passageway that seemed endless. Doors stretched on each side. 

'Well. Thankyou Dynast.' L'risia said, closing her computer. 'I wonder when he'll show up?'

'Oh, I don't think he'll be bothering us for a while, I thin this is to delay us.' Xelloss said cheerfully. He was looking with some interest at a magazine.

'Why not?' Cleo asked him curiously. Xelloss waved the programme.

'Because there's a Dragon Ball Z Marathon on-'

L'risia abruptly vanished and so did Kai'ila, with an excited squeal.

'Wait! Oh never mind.' Cleo grumbled. 'So what do we do now?'

'I guess we go and look in the doors.' Zel said. 'We can't do anything else except look for a way out now that we're in.'

'Okay. Come on Gourry!'

She flung open the nearest door, holding onto her fiancé's hand. She and Gourry blinked .

'Wha-YAAAAAH!'they yelled as an invisible hand yanked them though. 

'Lina!'

'Gourry!'

The door slammed shut. Dead silence fell, and Cleo sent out a call to her friends. 

_GET YOU ASSES BACK HERE NOW!!!_

'We should explore in pairs,' Zel decided, leaning on a door, 'that way we'll always be with someone and two stand a better chance than one.'

'But there's five of us.'

Cleo's mouth twisted in an evil grin, thinking about the possibilities. A very pissed Kai'ila and L'risia pooped into existence.

'What?' L'risia demanded, waving a Coke bottle. 

'We're going to split into twos.' Xelloss said cheerfully, obviously not thinking about who would have go with who.

'And as of now,' Dynast's voice giggled, 'YOU FOUR CAN'T TELEPORT!'

'WHAT?!'

'NO!'

'YOU BASTARD!'

'KISAMA!' L'ri shouted to the ceiling. She calmed down.

'All right. Who's going with who?'

'Well- Lina and Gourry have gone-' Filia looked worriedly at the door the pair had been pulled into.

'I'll go with Amelia.' Zel said a little quicker than he had intended, blushing.

'Aw you look so CUTE when you blush Zel!' Kai'ila grinned. Amelia giggled.

'Well- that leaves Filia, myself, Val and you three- and Casper.'

Val seemed to consider his options.

'Hey, L'ri?'

'Yes?'

'Did you want to come with me?'

'What? Ah- I mean- um-' L'risia tinged pink and glared at her grinning friends. 'Sure, okay, I guess.'

'Filia, Xelloss, Cleo, Kai'ila and Casper now-'

'I'll go with you,' Kai'ila said cheerfully to Casper, 'do you mind?'

'No, its fine.' The ex-Mazoku smiled, 'I'd rather be stuck with you than the others.'

'Aw Casper-chan.' Xelloss pouted.  Casper rolled his eyes at Kai'ila.

'Which door?'

'Pick one.'

Casper flung open a door, letting Kai'ila in first. 'See you in a few!' He said cheerfully before shutting the door. L'risia rolled her eyes. 

'What about you three?'

'Three?' The blonde woman, unearthly in her beauty and aura frowned at the scene, barley wrinkling her perfect skin. 'This won't do. And it's about time My Son got a love life. Any life!'

_She looked with star-filled eyes at the image of the shaggy-haired Dark Lord Dynast, flopped in front of his TV, and snapped her fingers, more for theatrical effect than anything else._

Dynast crashed to the floor of the corridor.

'Dynast?'

'WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?'

'Do we look like we know?' Val asked.

'Do we look like we care?' Cleo clarified. 

'That too.' L'risia nodded. 'Dynast, what-'

'_He's getting a life. I promise to tape Dragon Ball Z. One of you had to look after him and make sure he brushes his teeth before he goes to bed.'_

'L-sama!' Xelloss squeaked, sounding exactly like Amelia. 

'…'L'risia managed.

'YOU MEAN WE'RE STUCK WITH DRAMA-BOY?' Cleo shouted. 

'_Yes.'_

'Eep.'

'I don't think I can take this.' Zel muttered, and opened a door at random. 'Come on Amelia. Ladies first.'

'Thanks Mr Zelgadis!' Amelia said, stepping through the door. Her comment, 'oh look at all the flowers!' could be heard before the chimera shut the door. 

Val and L'risia looked at each other and the four disgruntled girls and boys left. A smile threatened to curve L'risia's mouth.

'Well? Who's going with who?'

Xelloss and Filia looked at each other, and Cleo caught a meaningful glare from L'risia.

'Er- I'll go with Dynast!' she forced out cheerfully, grabbing the startled Dark Lord's arm and dragging him towards a door. 'See you all later then!'

The door slammed behind them, and L'risia's grey and Val's amber gaze fell on the Mazoku and Golden Dragon left, staring at each other.

'ARGH!' Filia screamed.

'Fi-chan…' Xelloss groaned.

'Mum, you can't do anything so you might as well try and live with it.' Val said calmly, opening a door into a cobbled street.

'After you, my lady.'

'Er- thanks.' L'risia said, tinging pink as she stepped through the doorway. Val grinned at his mother and stepped through after the girl. Filia and Xelloss glared at each other, feeling some definite deja vu. 

'We might as well get this over with. We go in, we explore we come out.' Xelloss snapped, opening a door and bowed low, sarcasm hanging over him like a inseparable mist. Filia's blue eyes narrowed, but remembered the tactic Amelia used on Xelloss.

'Thank you Xelloss.' She said pleasantly, stepping past him into the world beyond the door. Xelloss's amethyst eyes widened in shock as he stepped after the blonde.

'Fi-chan? Are you feeling all right?'

'Never better, Xel.'

_Argh! What to happen next?!? I don't know! It will come to me in a nightmare!!_

_Hehe_

_I should be studying -_-; what's study?! Oh man…_

_Ja ne_

_StarChibi-chan_


	7. Argh! Trapped! ....which show was this a...

_Author Notes: _Now I'll get on with the romance part of the story…hehehe prepare to be sick, random insanity & sap coming rite up!! (I'm Australian. I'm allowed to be weird. ^_^) I'm not too good at sap though so it will prob turn out more insanity than sap…can't hear many people complaining….what does that tell you about today's society? We're all whacked? YES!!

_Disclaimer_: it's in the first chapter. It applies to the whole bloody story, OKAY?!? I'm not writing it again! I get too depressed! I don't own Digimon, either. Or Nadesico. Or Rurouni Kenshin. Or Bubblegum Crisis. Or any of the other animes I choose to guest-star here! WAAAAAH!

********************************************************************

'Gourry! This is all your fault!' Lina shouted, bashing her beloved over the head with her white-gloved fist. 

'Hey! Lina! Stop! Please! Ow!'

Lina stopped and looking with astonishment at the twelve kids staring at them from under a tree where they'd been talking.

'Hey! Where are we!' She shouted to them. A boy who looked about sixteen and with feral brown hair stood up.

'You're in the Digital World- are you a human?'

'What kind of question is THAT?' Lina demanded, getting worked up.

'Lina, I think he's just checking, I'm sure it's nothing personal.' Gourry reassured her. 'Calm down! What'd the digital world?'

'It's a world that exists parallel to Earth. If you're human, how did you get here, are you Digi-destined?'

'Digi-WHAT?'

'Tai,' a red haired boy said, looking up from a box that reminded Lina or the thing L'risia treated like a pet. 'I just monitored an unusual energy surge. I think these two came from ANOTHER different world!'

'What?!'

'Aw man-' a blonde groaned, covering his dark blue eyes with a hand.

But Lina and Gourry looked almost relieved. 'Oh is THAT all?' Lina sighed. 'Sugoi! Now all we have to do is wait for the others, they're probably around here somewhere.'

'But Lina, what if all those doors lead to different worlds?' Gourry asked. 'And we can't get back out, remember?'

He pointed at the empty piece of sky where, according to basic laws of space, physics and another non-existent things made up so the universe supposedly makes sense, there should have been a door.

There wasn't one, in case you missed the point.

Lina stormed up to the kids.

'Okay. I want you guys to tell me EVERYTHING about this world.'

'Well how about you tell us about yours?' A maroon-haired boy about twelve grinned around a straw. Lina glared at him.

'All right kid. Now spill! Where the HELL are we? And how do we get back?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Squigglies! Cool!)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kai'ila and Casper stepped into the door, only the find there wasn't any floor where there should have been. Needless to say, since neither of them was prepared to defy the laws of gravity, they fell flat on their butts on a hard metallic floor.

'Ow.' Casper said, and then looked both puzzled and amused.

'What?'

'I'm not used to saying that and not enjoying it.' He shrugged, pulling Kai'ila to her feet. She shrugged and looked around. Her green eyes narrowed.

'There's something terribly familiar about all this-'

'The door's gone.' Casper said suddenly.

'WHAT?!'

Kai'ila looked at the blank air behind her and blinked, then blinked again.

'Oh dear.' She said eventually. 

'Yes.' Casper agreed. 'Do you think magic works here?'

'No idea. Why don't you give it a try?'

'FLARE ARROW!'

The fiery dart blew a hole in the wall. 'It works.' Casper said, looking rather pleased with the effect it had. Kai'ila coughed, waving away the smoke.

'Yeah. Er. OH MY GOD!' she screamed, pointing and puzzled and enraged faces peering at them through the smoke. 

'What is it?'

'I KNOW THEM! THEY'RE BLOODY ANIME CHARACTERS! THEY CAN'T EXIST!'

'Anime characters? You mean like…. Dragon Ball Z characters?'

'Something like that but a different series.'

'All right who are you and what are you doing in this ship!' A rough male voice demanded. Kai'ila blinked as a gun was put against her head, and one at Casper. Soldiers surrounded them. Casper looked at Kai'ila.

'What's going on?'

'I think we're being arrested.'

'Damn right.' The guy said as a blue haired girl came sprinting down the corridor, bawling her eyes out. 

'WAAAAH! AKIIIIITTTOOOOO! ARE YOU ALIVE? _AKIIIIITO_!'

'Shut up, Yurika! I'm fine!' a tired boy's voice said. Kai'ila green eyes widened as the cook-cum-pilot looked irritably at the girl, who proceeded to fling herself on him and cry happy tears. The soldier holding a gun to Casper's head looked really pissed off, and Kai'ila recognised him.

'Jun?'

'Do- I know you?'

'No!' Kai'ila grinned cheerfully as Casper reached up and crushed the gun in one hand. 

'Captain,' Ruri's voice came over the intercom, 'Just recently I monitored an energy discharge unlike any other we've seen before about two minutes after the initial surge. I think the initial surge may have caused these two to come into this ship by some kind of warp.'

'….oh.' Yurika said, clearly not understanding one word of it. 'What about the second discharge, Ruri?'

'I believe that it may be some kind of phenomenon linked to these two humans.'

'Well at least they're human.' Akito said, looking relieved.

'Akito Tenkawa?' Kai'ila said.

'Er- yes?'

'Could you put away that frying pan? It looks like a lethal weapon the way you're holding it. And if you'll excuse me I have some hysterics I'd like to chuck right about now-'

The more perceptive of the crew members (namely Ryoko who out of all the ones present is the only on who can think clearly in a situation when two people have appeared out of goodness knows where and seem to know all their names) stuck their fingers in their ears. Kai'ila turned around to face Casper and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him violently and screaming,

'WE'RE STUCK IN THE BLOODY NADESICO I DON'T BELIEVE THIS, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING THERE'S NO WAY TO GET BACK AND IN THE MEANTIME WE'RE STUCK IN AN ANIME SHOW WITH A CREW OF WACKOS!!!!'

'…I think she insulted us.' Akito said to no one in particular. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~More squiggilies! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amelia and Zel stood in a field, not really knowing what to do. The door, as Zel had pointed out, had disappeared, which meant that they couldn't get back the way they came in.

'But what about the others?'

'Oh, I daresay they're stuck in their own separate worlds with no way out as well.' Zel said calmly as a breeze blew some flower petals in front of the pair. 

'….' Amelia managed. 'What to we do now then?' 

'I guess we can look around and see if the door opens somewhere else.' Zel shrugged, looking around. He sneezed. 'Damn flowers.'

'Wow Misty! Look at that! How cool! I'm gonna catch it!'

'Er Ash, I don't think-'

'Don't be silly Misty, I've never seen a Pokemon like that before, it's gotta be a rare one. Dexter doesn't even recognise it!'

Zel and Amelia looked at the pair on the hill behind them. One was a boy with black her, and Amelia recognised the clothes as the ones L'risia had changed into when she threw the bottled Ra-Tilt at Casper. The girl next to him was in a yellow tank top, red suspenders and short blue denim shorts. The boy looked at Pikachu.

'Okay, go Pikachu!'

'Pika!'

The little yellow thing bounced down to the pair. Zel and Amelia looked at it curiously. Amelia picked it up.

'What's this thing?'

'Beats me.' Zel said. Pikachu looked at him strangley. It's eyes narrowed.

'PIKACHUUUU!'

Electricity crackled around Amelia and Zelgadis. Amelia dropped Zel as the chimera yelled, electricity surging in his head. (Does steel conduct electricity? It does now.) 

'Zel!' Amelia said, and drew his sword out of it's sheath. She dug it point first in the ground, and grabbed Zel's head, wincing as the sharp points cut into her hand, forcing him down to the sword. The electricity jumped, and transferred into the sword. 

'Uh-' Zel muttered, seeing stars. ''anks 'melia-'

'That's all right. Are you okay?'

'Yeah- just seeing sparkles-' Zel said, sitting up and blinking a few times. Amelia healed her hand. A red and white pokeball hit Zel on the head. 

'Hey!' Amelia shouted. 'What the hell are you doing throwing things at people like that? You could hurt someone!'

'Why didn't it work?' Ash said. 'Pikachu, thunder-'

Zel and Amelia fireballed him. Misty stared at the pair and started backing away, but Pikachu's electricity crackle around it. Amelia knew the warning signs, now, and yelled,

'BOMB DI WIND!' sending the little creature flying. Zel raised his eyebrows at Amelia as Ash started furiously yelling at the pair. 

'Nice.'

'Thank you. You're all right now?'

'Yes.' Zel stood up, sheathing his sword.

'Hey! I battled you! You can't just walk away!' Ash yelled furiously. Zel looked at him.

'Battled? What the hell are you talking about kid? You _attacked_ me with that- yellow thing of yours.'

'Pikachu is not a thing he's a Pokemon!'

'A poke-what?'

'Are you it's trainer?' Misty asked Amelia politely as Ash continued to yell. 

'Whose trainer?'

'It's!' Misty pointed at Zel as if Amelia was stupid. Amelia looked at Zel, imagining what this could mean. A slight red tinged her cheeks.

'No where near it.'

'But- then why-'

Zel folded his arms and fixed Ash with a piercing sapphire gaze. 'Look I don't know what you're on about- my suggestion is that if you're so worried about your furry yellow friend then I suggest you go and look for him.' 

'I don't understand why my pokeball didn't work on you, its supposed to work on all Pokemon- hey how come you can talk like a _human_?'

Zel's eyes flashed.

'Uh-oh.' Amelia said, and Zel hit Ash on the head with one fist. 

'Hey!' Misty said, 'What did you do that for?'

Zel didn't answer. 'Lets go, Amelia.'

'Coming, Mr Zelgadis!' Amelia said, running up to his side. Misty blinked as the caped figures walked away. She looked down at Ash.

'We're finding Pikachu and then following them.' He said, his eyes flashing, 'I want to catch that Pokemon!'

'Uh-'

Behind them, in a group of trees, three sets of eyes flashed.

'Hm a new kind of rare Pokemon.' A female voice said.

'Yes indeed, Jesse, and we're going to catch it before that little brat does.'

'Of course James, you read my mind!'

'That's true Jesse- or did I read yours?'

'Good question…'

Val and L'risia looked at the clothes on the people walking past the alley they were in with curiosity. 

'Oh no.'

'Yeah.' Val agreed. 'We'll stand out AND there's no way back.'

L'risia waved her hand, changing her trousers and tunic into a Chinese-style trousers and long-sleeve blue silk top. She brushed a hand vaguely over the high collar and re-did her hair, sliding her feet into bamboo sandals. 

'Er- L'ri-'

'Chinese clothes. I have a nasty feeling that I know exactly where we are.'

'China?' Val hazarded.

'No, Japan, but Chinese are common here and I don't fancy wearing a kimono or a katana outfit in public, thankyou.'

She waved a hand at him, changing his clothes into a blue and black katana set. Val blinked.

'This is weird.'

' You wont look out of place.' She reassured him, stepping out into the street. They wandered down it, stopping in front of a restaurant. 

'Hungry?' Val asked, looking through the coins she'd given him. 

'I am a bit,' she admitted, and her gaze fell on the name of the restaurant. 'Oh _nooo_.' 

'What is it?'

'We're in Rurouni Kenshin-land.' She sighed.

'Rurou-'

'I'll explain over the sukiyaki.' 

'So we're in an anime show.' Val clarified, his head spinning. L'risia nodded and waved her chopsticks over her shoulder.

'The main characters are in the booth behind us. Don't stare at them- well, try not to. The redhead is Kenshin. The black-haired girl next to him is Kaoru. The kid is Yahiko, and the tall dude is called Sanosuke.' 

Val blinked at then looked quickly back at his soup as Sano's gaze caught his. Sano said something to Kenshin, but before the man could say anything, some drunks stumbled in the door, demanding sake.

'I'm sorry gentlemen,' Tae said firmly, 'I can't sell you any.'

'Uh-oh.' L'risia murmured. This was more than the drunks could take, one of them backhanding Tae into Val's arms.

'Hey!' Yahiko yelled. Val tinged pink.

'Are you all right miss?' he asked Tae politely. She rubbed her jaw.

'It's happened before.'

Val nodded and L'risia's grey eyes narrowed at the drunks, her fingers closing around a chopstick. Yahiko was up and yelling at the drunks, and easily ducked a strike from one of them, power-kicking him into a wall. 

'The kid's good!' Val said with some surprise. L'ri nodded and stood up.

'Yahiko.' Kenshin's quiet but firm voice carried to the ears of the young warrior. Yahiko stopped yelling and sighed.

'All right.' 

The remaining drunks were furious. 'Outside!' they yelled. 'Now! You too red! And anyone else who thinks they can pick a fight with us!'

Val, looking at Tae again, realised the woman was in much more pain than she let on.

'L'ri-'

L'risia followed his gaze and knelt beside Tae with Kaoru, running a gentle finger along the woman's swollen jaw line.

'Her jaw's broken.' She said quietly. Kaoru looked at her in shock. L'risia nodded to Kaoru.

'Miss, why don't you take this woman to see Megu- the local doctor.'

Kaoru nodded dumbly.

'Sano could you-'

'Sure Jo-chan, Kenshin and Yahiko can take these guys.' Sano picked up a grumbling Tae and walked out, Tsubame trotting along behind. 

'If you don't mind, sir.' Val was saying to Kenshin. 'We'd like to take these men.'

'We?'

'My friend and I.' Val said, motioning at L'risia, who bowed. Kenshin's purple eyes were puzzled.

'You fight then? Both of you?'

Val looked at L'risia, who nodded. 'Yes.'

'But-' Yahiko interrupted. L'risia grinned at him.

'I know you'd like a piece of them, Yahiko, but let us have some fun too. Outside you three.'

'Why is it,' Val said, 'That drunks always make big long justifying speeches before they fight?'

'Beats me,' L'risia said as they ignored the drunken, righteous babble going on. Suddenly they attacked. L'risia caught a strike easily in her hands, locking the foot. With a flip, she turned the attacker on his back and slammed a palm heel smashing into the chin of another, Val caught him as he reeled backwards and the man looked up into amber eyes. He gulped as Val grinned, revealing his fangs.

'Hi.' Val slammed an elbow on his stomach. The fight was over in about five seconds. Kenshin picked up one body.

'Lets take them to Megumi.'

'Megumi?' Val asked.

'Doctor.' L'risia explained.

Xelloss, in the least, _VERY_ amused. You could tell because he just could not stop laughing. The black-haired, short man whom he had been talking to didn't think it was that funny. 

'WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!'

Xelloss only giggled, and Filia pulled out her mace, and smashed him over the head.

'You'll have to excuse him he's a fruitcake.'

'I noticed.' The man said nastily. 'And who are you? How did you come here? I sense a strange energy around you two.'

Suddenly he looked up and a short man with a shiny head dropped to the ground, as well as a boy of about seventeen, an purple haired kid of about eight and a younger one about a year younger dropped to the ground as well. 

'Hi dad!' the purple-haired kid said. The black-haired man ignored him, and the younger black-haired boy looked sympathetically at his friend, who merely shrugged. 

'Who are these two Vegeta?' the bald man asked.

'I don't know Krillen I'm just finding out.' Vegeta said, griding his teeth. Xelloss paused laughing and burst out again, unable to control himself.

'What's wrong with him?' the purple-haired kid asked no one in particular. Filia scowled at the Mazoku.

'He's an idiot.' She said loftily. She stared at them, wondering why they seemed to be so familiar, and their names- her blue eyes widened and she looked at Xelloss.

'Xelloss-'

His only reply was laughter. 'Hey, NAMAGOMI!'

He stopped laughing and scowled at Filia. 

'Are we in- that Dragon show that L'risia and Kai'ila were always-'

Xelloss cracked up and rolled on the ground holding his aching sides. Eyebrows rose.

'Look what ARE you lady?' Vegeta demanded. 

'Er-' Filia wasn't sure she was capable of logical thought at this point in time. 'Sleep.'

The four males in front of her fell down to the ground, snoring. 

'Hehe- the Great Super Saiyan Vegeta falls to a delicate blonde and a sleep spell-' Xelloss snickered. 

'Xelloss- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!' Filia shouted, brandishing her mace. 'AND THE DOOR IS GONE! WHAT DID YOU DO, NAMAGOMI?!'

Xelloss looked offended.

'I didn't do anything, Fi-chan!'

'Xelloss-' Filia growled warningly, and then smiled sweetly and began singing, 'I love you, you-'

'ARGH! No! Filia!' Xelloss yelled, blocking his ears as his face drained of all colour.

'Tell me-'

'Okay! Just don't sing _that_ song!' he shuddered. 'I think we got pulled into some alternate dimension or something when we came through the door! I don't know why the door's not there, but it looks like we're stuck here. We're stuck in the anime show Dragon Ball Z- maybe everything exists in its own dimension and we've hit the Dragon Ball Z one. In either case, we've met up with Vegeta, Krillen, Goten and Trunks!'

Filia blinked.

'If you're lying, you Nama-'

'I. Am. Not. Lying.' Xelloss, said, opening his amethyst eyes to look at her seriously. She shivered. His eyes gave her the creeps.

'All right.' She said reluctantly. She looked at the unconscious four lying on the ground. 'What do we do now?'

Xelloss sat down on the air and hovered annoyingly next to the dragon maiden.

'We wait for the others to show up and get them to show us around. We're here, so we might as well look around.'

Filia wouldn't admit it, but she silently agreed with the priest on that. She pulled out her tea set.

'Cup of tea, namagomi?'

Xelloss sighed, resigned to being stuck with the annoying ex-priestess for quite some time.

'I wish you wouldn't call me that, Fi-chan.' 

Dynast and Cleo were arguing. Dynast was pissed off because his powers seem to have been halved, and Cleo was pissed because her shopping had been left behind and she'd landed in a lake, and now she was freezing. 

'Er-'

the small sound caused them both to turn around, facing an astonished-looking teenager and blue-haired companion. 

'Who are you?' the girl asked suspiciously, recovering first. 'Which planet are you from?'

Dynast and Cleo looked at each other and then at the couple standing in front of them, and then back at the pair. Cleo pointed a shaking finger.

'Dynast, is it just me or is that-'

'Oh good I thought I was the only one.' Dynast breathed out, having looked as if he'd just been tied to a flagpole and forced to watch his sanity take a running jump off a fifty metre cliff. 

'Where did you come from?' the boy asked, 'you just fell out of no where-'

Cleo looked back up at the sky.

'ARGH! THE DOORS GONE! DYNAST WHAT DID YOU DO YOU-'

'I wasn't me! I swear!' Dynast yelled back. Cleo scowled.

'Well then what happened?'

'I don't know! I don't know everything! I nearly do but not this!'

'And so modest!' muttered Cleo to herself, rubbing the back of her head. Dynast narrowed his eyes.

'What was that, priestess?'

'Nothing! - So we're stuck in Japan. Anime Japan, and have run into Tenchi and Ryoko. WELL I'M GLAD _THAT_ MAKES SENSE!' she yelled sarcastically. Dynast folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. 

'It doesn't.'

'What, you're tone deaf now as well as stupid?' Cleo said nastily. She was rapidly descending into the thick fog of mind-numbing incoherence and snappy retorts that comes with freezing your ass off. She shivered as water dripped off her and an icy wind blew through.

'You're cold,' Tenchi observed. Dynast clapped, pausing in squeezing water out of his jacket. 

'A _true_ genius!'

'Come on, you can come back to my place and you can have a shower or something-'

'Where did you come from?' Ryoko asked as the pair, now both shivering, 

'Judging from what I'm seeing,' Dynast said through chattering teeth, 'another world.'

Tenchi and Ryoko exchanged a look.

'Why me?' Tenchi moaned. 

Ack?! I can't believe I wrote that! Oh well…LOOOOONG chapter, ne? I woke up early. ^_^ how disgusting. 

I'd better go and move my ass on the books or I am going to FAIL. And then I'd be banned from my precious computer! I can't handle even the mere concept! WAAAH!

Ahem. 

Ja ne

Chibi-chan. 


	8. Lost Plot + Wacked Authoress= Random Ins...

Author Notes: ARGH! Stuck for ideas! Exams have put my brain into neutral and I can't come up with anything except depressing songfics! Okaaaaay…well, I'll have a shot at this people…DODGY!!!

_Disclaimer: _Look at the first chapter and the last one for the bloody disclaimer I am SO not writing in again…

'Okay…so you said that one of your friends has a grey box she calls her laptop?' Izzy clarified, opening his own laptop. Lina nodded. 

'That's right. You've got one too-'

'They're a kind of electronic device-'

'What's electricity?'

Izzy sighed as the other Digi-destined looked at each other. 'Never mind, Lina.' 

Lina snapped her fingers, recalling something L'risia had said in one of her more patient moments, trying to explain her 'laptop' to her.

'Oh! Like a Mono-bolt!'

'a WHAT?' the boy who'd introduced himself as Davis said. Lina grinned rather nastily and spread her hands, the yellow electricity dancing on her limbs. Jaw dropped.

'This is a mono-bolt. It's a magic spell.'

'There's no such thing as magic.' Izzy said. Lina turned to Mono-bolt on him, knocking the redhead out.

'Hey!' Mimi shouted, 'That wasn't nice!'

Lina shrugged. 'He'll wake up. It just strings a bit- wasn't enough to kill him-' she looked around. 'Where's Gourry?'

Tai pointed wordlessly to where Gourry was carving up a tree with his sword. 

'He's good.' Matt observed.

'One of the best.' Lina nodded proudly. Sora looked sidelong at her.

'Lina, are you and Gourry-'

'WHAT A ROCK!' shouted Davis, pointing at the ring on Lina's finger and echoing Val's exact words. Lina sighed. She was beginning to wish Gourry hadn't had so much money spare. Of course, it was nice to know that the man she was marrying was loaded- 

'Hey!' Izzy's voice said, startled. 'Lina! I think you'd better look at this.'

Lina ran back to the teenager and looked over his shoulder as the kids gather around. On Izzy's computer lay a three-dimensional image of the digi-world, drawn in just lines without colour. It was squashed up into the left of the screen, then the world the digi-destined recognised as their own, but next to those two familiar diagrams, were four other diagrams, similar but different…

'Izzy?' Kari asked quietly.

'I think they are other worlds. Other parallel universes. And I think we've been linked but Lina and Gourry coming here, bring a little piece with them, her friend's laptop and just the intrusion of her friends into the separate worlds.'

'We didn't ASK to be here you know.' Lina said. 'Can you find out friends?'

'I'm working on it.' Izzy said, sweatdropping as he noticed the growing fireball in her hands…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(squigglies!)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kai'ila looked with interest at the fake landscape, and then out the windows into the stars of the universe beyond. 

'It's so pretty, don't you think?' she asked her companion. He followed her gaze.

'…yeah.'

'What's up?'

'I'm not used to appreciating that kind of thing- why the hell did you do this to me?' Casper demanded a little scarily.

'You were being a psychotic bastard. And you wrecked L'ri's computer. THAT HAD A REALLY GOOD STORY ON IT!!'

Casper sweatdropped.

'…at least you're honest.'

She gave him a bright grin.

'Of course.'

'ATTETNION OUT-WORLDERS' Ruri's bored (and she sounded VERY sarcastic at this point in time, Yurika had really been getting on her nerves…) 'THE CAPTAIN REQUESTS YOU PRESENCE ON THE BRIDGE IMMEDIATLEY. I REAPEAT THE CAPTIAN-'

'We've got the point.' Muttered Casper, kicking open the door. He looked over his shoulder at Kai'ila. 'Where the HELL is this bridge anyway?'

'Maybe we can ask someone.'

'IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!'

A few hours Later… 

'Oh YES report to the bridge IMMEDIATLEY well that wouldn't be a problem if we knew where the hell the fricking thing WAS!' shouted Casper, reminding Kai'ila of L'ri. She wondered where her friend was.

'Have you seen a map?'

'No!'

'Calm down- maybe if we just wander around aimlessly we'll find it.'

Grumbling, Casper followed the girl down the corridors. And opened a door. And found themselves in the same place as where they had started from. Kai'ila's eye ticked as Casper slammed his fist into the wall.

'I need a drink. I really strong one.' He said to her. 'Didn't we pass a bar back there?'

'Good idea-'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ you get the idea

Amelia noticed Zel was starting to look irritated about two days after their initial encounter with Ash and Misty

'What's wrong Mr Zelgadis/'

'That kid and his girlfriend have been following us for TWO DAYS!'

'I know.' Amelia sighed. It was unjust, she thought. She was the one who had to put up with Zel's bad mood- Zel suddenly stopped walking. Amelia, with dull terror, realised he hadn't had a cup of coffee for several days. Mentally she screamed in horror. Zel turned around in time to see Misty and Ash duck behind a tree.

'Those other three are over there.' Amelia said, pointing to where a long tail of hot pink hair could be seen sticking out from a bush. Zel sighed.

'All right. HEY KID! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!'

Ash stepped out from the tree, looking slightly nervous. 

'What?' he yelled back.

' What do you want? I'm getting fed up with you following us so lets sort this out right now!'

'Yeah!' Amelia said, joining in. 'It's unjust of you to keep following us around!'

'Fine then! I challenge you to a Pokemon Battle!'

'A Pokemon WHAT?' Amelia and Zel said together. Amelia looked surprised at herself. Lina must be rubbing off on her…

Ash looked surprised. 'You- don't know what a Pokemon battle is? Never mind! I want to battle that! If I win the match I get to keep it!'

'It?!' Zel demanded, noting Ash's finger on him. 'Okay kid you're on.' He said. Amelia, noticing the sinister grin on Zel's face, backed away slightly and wished Xelloss or one of the priestesses were around so she could put on an army hat. 

'GO….SQUIRTLE!' Ash shouted. Misty smiled. Rock Pokemon were weak against water Pokemon- if this new Pokemon was a rock type as it looked, then Ash should be able to win. Zel folded his arms and looked at the turtle. 

'I'm fighting a turtle?'

'He's NOT A TURTLE!'

'Okay- a turtle who doesn't know it's not supposed to wear glasses OR have a read shell-'

'Grr…SQUIRTLE! Water gun attack now!'

'Windy shield!'

The water gun glanced off the shield and hit Ash full in the face. Misty's jaw dropped and she looked at Pikachu. Ash ground his teeth. He didn't know what kind of powers this Pokemon had…but he WOULD catch it!

'Fireball!' Zel smirked.

'Squirtle!'

Squirtle's shell rattled on the ground. Ash growled at Zel.

'If that's the best you can do you'd better like being beaten!' 

Amelia covered her mouth to hide her giggles. 

'I really don't want to have to hurt you kid.' Zelgadis said, and raised his eyebrows as Charasaurd towered above him. He looked around the orange dinosaur.

'I've fought demons, dark lords and Mazoku and you expect me to be frightened of a lizard with orange peel for skin?'

'Charasaurd! Fl-'

Zelgadis sighed, not wanting to really hurt the kid's pets or whatever they were, opted for the air magics again. 

'Bomb di wind.'

Charasaurd went flying off into the sunset, a little anime sparkle in the sky. 

Ash gaped at Zel, who examined his fingernails. Amelia giggled. 

'You've only got one Pokemon left Ash.' Misty said. Ash growled. 

'Pikachu!'

Zel looked at the fuzzy yellow rabbit with rouge on. Oh. The electricity creature. Interesting- 

'Fireball!'

Pikachu was finished. Ash fell to the ground, sobbing.

'Amelia- perhaps you should heal it-' Zel sighed to the girl, feeling sorry for the kid. 'And while you're at it- ask him what the hell Pokemon are!'

~~~~~~~~~~~(anyone guess I don't like Pokemon?)~~~~~~~~~~

Val looked over L'risia's shoulder.

'Are you working on that story again?' he asked. L'risia paused. 

'Yep.'

'Don't you DO anything else?' he asked her, sitting down on the riverbank. L'risia appeared to think about this, and actually took her hands off the keyboard.

'Eat- sleep- um…and talk.'

'Rarely.' Val supplied helpfully before lying down with his hands behind his head. L'risia snorted. 

'Hey you two!' Yahiko said, skidding down to where the pair was sitting. 

'Hey Yahiko.' L'risia said, and added innocently, 'where's Tsubame?'

'Eh? Why would she be with me?'

'Oh- just wondering, that's all-' L'risia said lamely, focusing on the story again. 'What's another word for complete?'

'Absolute. Why?'

She blinked at Val and looked at the screen. 'Hey! Thanks!' 

'What're you writing, L'ri-san?' Yahiko asked, reading over her shoulder. Like all the other victims of L'risia's story, he felt it necessary to snatch it out of her hands and continue reading. L'risia sighed and showed him how to move the page up and down. She skipped a stone across the lake. 

'How long d'you think we'll be stuck here L'ri?'

'Dunno. Someone will find us I suppose.'

'We're just going to SIT HERE?!'

'Have you got a better suggestion? This is where we came in and besides, if all the others are in this show- then at least Kai'ila will be intelligent enough to come to Tokyo where the main characters are.'

'And if they aren't?' Val asked, batting a strand of aqua-blue hair out of his eyes. L'risia looked into the river and grinned to herself.

'Some of them will probably end up in Digimon- which means they'll run into Izzy, and the kid's a genius anyway.'

Val blinked at her. 

'Could you run that by me again L'ri?'

L'risia sighed and turned around again to face him. 'Okay…'

Val leaned of the wall of the dojo.

'I thought they were supposed to be training?' he asked Sano. The other man nodded and rolled his eyes in the direction of the squabbling Kaoru and Yahiko.

'This always happens. Do you fight kid?'

'Uh- a little-' Val admitted. Actually he'd never trained but he had a disturbing gift for being able to use anything in self-defence (or, as Zel remarked, violently. Filia said it was because Xelloss had kept on visiting, but at that point she had shut up when everyone had started to ask for an explanation for that…) 

'How about the girl? Kenshin said she was pretty good.'

'L'risia? Well-' Val thought about the cobalt-haired girl. '…she does as well- only when she has to though, I don't think she'd really interested. Where is Kenshin?'

Sano grinned around his fishbone as Kaoru started chasing Yahiko. 

'Probably cooking.'

'Cooking?' Val blinked. 'Really? Can I help?'

L'risia, just walking in with said redhead, overheard and gave Val a funny look as she passed with the laundry basket. 

'You cook?'

Val tinged pink. 'Um-'

Kenshin smiled. 'That's good. Val-san, why don't you help me with dinner? L'ri-dono has asked to do the rest of the washing so I can concentrate on cooking.'

'Since we kinda dropped in on you like this-' L'risia said apologetically, hoping Val wasn't going to get mad. The boy grinned.

'Cool! Lead the way Kenshin!'

L'risia breathed out. Sano waved a sheaf of paper at her. 'Yahiko said you gave this to him- you wrote this?'

'Argh-'

'YAHIKO GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT JUST WAIT UNTILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-'

'HAH! NEVER HAPPEN BUSU!' shouted back Yahiko, sticking his tongue out. 'Catch me if you can!'

'OOOH-'

Sano and L'risia sweatdropped and backed out of the dojo before something exploded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~more squiggles….~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'So- you're from WHERE?' Goku said again. Xelloss exchanged an exasperated look with Filia before the black-haired Saiyan laughed.

'It's okay I get it Xelloss.'

Xelloss breathed out again and Filia, who'd looked like she was expecting the apocalypse at any moment, relaxed. 

'So- are you and Miss Filia-'

'NO!' shouted the pair in question loudly. Chichi fell back a few steps. 

'Okay-okay- just asking-'

'Yeah, they argue too much.' Trunks agreed from where he was watching television. 'When we woke up they were practically killing each other.'

He laughed, amused at the memory. Filia smiled wryly. He reminded her of her son- where was he? He was with L'risia, one of the Priestesses. Well, she'd look after him- or would it be the other way around? Who would protect whom, and from what?

Filia chewed her lip nervously, the possibilities of what could be happening to her 'son' becoming worse and worse.

Xelloss looked at Filia's expression with curiosity. It was becoming more and more terrified. He could feel the raw fear radiating off her- not fear for herself, he sensed, but fear for someone else-

'Filia?' he asked, and was shocked to hear his voice sound concerned, gentle. 'Filia!'

Her lip was bleeding now.

'What's wrong with her?' Goku asked. Xelloss put his mouth close to Filia's ear. 'HEY, LIZARD LIPS!'

That got her attention, and it got Xelloss smeared across the wall again, but he was grinning and back to his normal three-dimensional self within seconds. He adjusted his clothing.

'Feeling better, Fi-chan? What got you so scared?'

'Namagomi! I wasn't scared!' Lied Filia. 

'You're lying.' He said simply. 'Now come on Fi-chan, what's wrong?'

Filia stared at him, the icy fire in her blue eyes melting in the face of his amethyst gaze. She slumped in the chair.

'I'm worried about Val-chan.'

'Filia,' Xelloss snorted pulling out his chair and straddling it to look into her eyes.

'Val is a grown dragon, he can take care of himself!'

'You're right-' Filia admitted grudgingly. Xelloss grinned, back to fruitcake-mode, much to his relief. He couldn't have Filia bugging out on him like that, and being the Amelia-type counsellor made him feel quite ill.

'But of course Fi-chan! Aren't I always right!?'

'Namagomi!'

'Lizard-lips!'

'Er-' Gohan interrupted looking at his little brother over the muffin he was eating. 'Did I her "dragon" in there.'

'And I could have sworn he calls her "lizard lips"-' Bulma mused as she finished loading the dishwasher.

'You did,' Vegeta confirmed. 'All right Miss Filia- explain to us this business about dragons and raw garbage-'

Filia grinned and adopted the exact same expression as Xelloss.

'Sore wa himitsu desu!' they grinned. Before everyone could pick themselves up off the floor, Filia and Xelloss exchanged a scared look and edged away from each other slightly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~you get it.

Dynast was confused.

As a matter of fact he was downright clueless.

And that was the understatement of the century. 

'It's just a pair of SHOES!' he said, standing on the lakeside. The surface was completely quiet, not a ripple. It looked as if the presently powerless powerful Dark Lord was talking to himself. Suddenly a blonde head appeared, and a shoe rocketed out of the water and hit him on the head.

'I LIKE these shoes!'

Dynast rubbed his head, looking at the silver and blue sandal he now held, and wondered what Cleo's reaction would be if he threw it into the woods surrounding the lake. 

For the first time Dynast decided he really didn't want to piss anyone like Cleo off, and carefully put the shoe down where it wouldn't get dirty. 

Soon the girl re-surfaced, and swam easily towards the shore. 'You're good at swimming.' He observed as she climbed out. She snorted, tossing the shoe to its mate and wrung out her curls.

'I like swimming. Honestly you'd think Ryoko would do this for me it's not like _she_ would get wet-' 

'Actually,' Dynast smirked, 'she said something about beating Ayeka for Tenchi's wake up call-'

Cleo snickered. 'Poor Tenchi.'

'Oh yes.'

The amount of sickening devotion in that house was disgusting. Dynast turned green within a ten-metre radius of the house if all three were in there. He hardly slept, last night in particular when Ryoko and Ayeka were trying to decide who was going to bring Tenchi his hot chicken soup because the poor angel (cough- sorry about the pun ^_^) had caught a cold…

Cleo noticed Dynast's lime-green face. 'Dynast? Stop thinking you'll hurt yourself!'

Her hostile emotions made him feel slightly better.

'Could you hit me, Cleo-san?'

With a sigh, Cleo backhanded him. 'Ooh- thankyou-'

Cleo rolled her blue eyes. 'I will never get used to you Mazoku-'

'TEEEEENNCHHIIII STOP RUNNING YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SOOOUP!'

Cleo and Dynast looked in the direction of Ryoko's shout.

'Why don't you stop harassing him Ryoko!' demanded Ayeka's voice, 'Tenchi-DEAR come back-'

'AAAAAAHHHHH!'

'You know he looked perfectly fine to me-' Cleo commented as the two girls run past, pushing and shoving each other and leaving smashed branches, settling dust and the lingering smell of hot chicken soup in their wake. 

'Me too. And I know when someone is sick.' Dynast said firmly.

'Yes. I suppose you do.' Cleo said nastily. Dynast grinned nastily and Tenchi burst out from behind them.

'Have they gone?' he gasped.

'I think so, but their Tenchi-radars are still operating on maximum, kid.' Dynast grinned. 

Tenchi paled and then went anime-blue as there was the sound of Ryoko and Ayeka turning around violently and coming back. Ryoko teleported.

'There you are Tenchi DEAR- YOWCH!' Cleo hit her over the head with a shoe.

'Run Tenchi!'

Tenchi disappeared at light speed.

'I feel sorry for that kid.' Dynast said.

'Really?'

'No.'

_Back to random insanity with no direction whatsoever I promise to get back 2 writing now that exams are over!!! (ideas are welcome on how to get the couples 2gether!! ^_^)_

_ja ne_

_star-chan_


	9. Letter from L-sama

_Author Notes: _EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER! WHOPPEEEEEE! Hah! I am aliiiiiive again!

Oooookay then I'd better stop scaring the readers now…if you care about the damn disclaimer, read the first chapter cos im not writing it again. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Kai'ila dropped the drink she was holding and giggled as Casper stood up on the table, singing. 

'EXCUSE ME!' shrieked an all-too-familiar voice. Casper fell off the table and looked dup from the floor.

'Oh hi Captain.' He said. Yurika glowered at the two.

'And what's your excuse?!'

'Hic! We couldn't-hic- find the bridge-hic-so we thought if we-hic-stayed in one place, someone would-hic- find us!' Kai'ila said. 

'AND YOU WAITED HERE!?!'

'We couldn't-hic- find anywhere else-' Kai'ila shrugged, and then burst into tears. Casper blinked at her and staggered over.

'What's up?'

'WAAAAH- I don't know.'

'You were bawling your eyes out!'

'I was?'

They looked at each other and fell over laughing. Yurika sighed and looked at Akito, who had come out of the kitchen and was blinking at the two incoherent out-worlders. 

'I think I'll ask them another time.' She muttered.

'Ask them what, Yurika?'

'Ask them what this means.' Yurika held out a piece of paper and Akito scanned through it, sweatdropping. 

THIS IS TO KAI'ILA, A INSUFFERABLY CHEERFUL 

**REDHEAD WITH GREEN EYES, CASPER, AN ALMOST-HUMAN MAZOKU GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN**

**CARROT GLACE, GOURRY GABRIEV AND XELLOSS WHEN HE'S**

IN A SADISTIC MOOD, SAID PURPLE-HAIRED PRIEST AND FILIA, CLEO, A PRIESTESS OF CHAOS, DYNAST THE DARK LORD, LINA INVERSE AND GOURY GABRIEV. OH, AND ZELGADIS, A CHIMERA, AND PRINCESS AMELIA WIL TELSA SAILUNNE, WHO IS A JUSTICE-LOVER AND ALSO INSUFFERABLY CHEERFUL. ALSO TO L'RISIA ANOTHER PRIESTESS OF CHAOS AND VAL, AN ANCEINT DRAGON.  

**HI. THIS IS THE LORD OF NIGHTMARES.**

**VAL AND L'RI ARE IN RUROUNI KENSHIN. KAI'ILA AND CASPER ARE STUCK IN NADESICO. DYNAST AND CLEO ARE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER IN TENCHI LAND, WHILE XELLOSS AND FILIA ARE IN DRAGON BALL Z. LINA AND GOURRY ARE IN DIGIMON AND ZEL AND AMELIA ARE IN POKEMON. YOU'RE GOING TO STAY THERE UNTILL YOU LEARN TO TRUST YOUR FEELINGS- OR IN SOME CASES, REALISE THEM, SINCE MY 'DAUGHTERS' SEEM TO BE SCREWING UP. **

**YOU'RE ALL VERY AMUSING.**

**HAVE FUN!**

**L-SAMA.**

**(PS- DOLPHIN IS HERE TOO. HURRY UP BECAUSE SHE'S DRINKING ALL THE MARTINIS AND SHABBY REFUSES TO GET OFF MY PLAYSTATION TWO!!)**

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Amelia blinked at the piece of paper that had fallen out of the sky. She handed it silently to Zelgadis, who skimmed through the letters quickly.

'Oh. My. God.' He managed, and then slumped down on the sand. 'What the hell do we do now?!?!'

'Um..it says until we learn to trust our feelings or realise them we're stuck here- isn't Pokemon that anime Kai'ila was complaining about?'

'I think so. So we're all stuck in a story?! This sucks!!'

Amelia sighed and sat down next to him, and hugged her knees. They looked out in silence over the blue water. The beach was deserted, and the sky was pink.

I am talking REAL pink. This is Amelia Pink we're discussing. No self-respecting painter would paint the sky Amelia Pink despite the fact that's what colour sunsets in this kind of situation are.

It's just wrong. Anyway…

The sun's dying rays were turned a section of the blue water golden, little sparkles dancing off the occasional crests. 

'It's pretty, don't you think Mr Zelgadis?'

Zel hesitated, and then nodded. 'Yes, it is.'

Actually he was thinking that the sky was exactly the same colour that Amelia wore on her shirt but he wasn't going to say that. 

'So- what are we going to do for food then?' Amelia asked, trying to strike up a conversation, though she knew it was probably pointless. Zel seemed to consider this idea. 

'I think-' he said, and stood up. 'I think- we'll have to think like Lina.'

Amelia glanced at him curiously as he yanked out a strand of his hair and bent it like a hook. He looked around the beach.

'Can you see a piece of string or something, Amelia?'

She looked at the hook in his hand and grinned. 'I'll find one, Mr Zel-'

'Amelia-'

She turned around and looked at him, wondering at the shy sound of his voice.

'Just call me Zelgadis.'

'Ah- sure! Okay! Found some!'

Amelia watched as Zel turned the fish over, placing his hand fearlessly into the flame. She didn't miss the flicker of sadness, and the slight pause as he watched the flames dance around his hand, harmlessly. Poor M- Zelgadis. 

'Something wrong, Amelia?' he asked, pulling his hand out of the flames again. She swallowed. He'd caught her looking at him.

'No, nothing.'

He looked thoughtful and then nodded. 'Say, Amelia?'

She looked at the blush on his face curiously. 'Hm?'

'I was thinking- you've got a pretty big library in Sailunne, don't you?'

'Yeah, one of the biggest Mr- I mean, Zel. Why do you ask?'

'Um- I was wondering if I could stay there when we get back, and- wellsinceyoulivethereithoughtyoucouldhelpmelookformycure.'

Amelia paused as she deciphered this. Finally her face broke out into a broad grin.,

'Of course you can! Daddy will be so happy to see you again; it's been ages since he's seen any of you! Of course I'll help!'

Zelgadis nodded, and his little inner voice patted him on the head. _There now, that wasn't so hard, was it? By the way- you can start breathing again now…_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BACK WITH THE SQUIGGLIES~~~~~~~~~~~~

L'risia read the piece of paper and her mouth quirked.

'That's- typical.' She managed, and still wasn't satisfied with the word for it. Val nodded. The letter and fallen in Kenshin's laundry, and it had taken them ages to decipher the running ink.  L'risia carefully placed the still damp letter on the pavement to dry, and swung herself into the sakura tree. 

'Why do you do that? You remind me of Xelloss?'

'I like trees.'

'Any particular reason?'

L'risia looked thoughtful. 'None that I'd like to talk about.' She said finally. Val glanced at her and sat down.

'What was that?'

L'risia opened her mouth to say something and then shut it again. 'Nothing- I got an email!'

'From who? What's an email?'

'It's like a letter you can send in-between computers. It's from Lina and Gourry-'

'What does it say?' Val asked, shinning up the tree and lying down on a branch above the girl so he could read the screen. She tilted it up slightly.

'Dear L'ri and Val- hey guys! Gourry and I are stuck with some kids who call themselves the digi-destined! They've got these weird creatures called digmon but they're kind of cool! I like Flamedramon!- she would,' L'risia couldn't help adding, and waved away Val's questioning look. ' Anyway- did you guys get L-sama's letter? I can't believe she did this to us! I'm engaged already! What did she mean by you guys screwing up? And what's this dragon ball Z business anyway? Come on L'ri, write back or I'll get this kid Izzy to send a virus to you! Okay! Bye! Lina and Gourry.'

There was a pause, during which Val's branch snapped, taking out L'risia's as he fell.

CRASH 

'OW.' L'risia announced as Yahiko and Kenshin, followed by Kaoru, came running.

'L'risia-dono! Val-san! Daijoubika?' Kenshin asked anxiously. 

'Hai, daijoubi- Val could you get OFF me-'

'Ah- sorry L'risia-' Val scrambled to his feet. L'risia kicked the branch off her and got to her feet and then feel over again.

'Ouch-'

'What's wrong?'

'I think I twisted something-' the girl muttered, yanking off her boot and pulling up the leg of her trousers, revealing a swollen ankle. She touched it tenderly and a look of pain crossed her face. Val knelt.

'It's broken, L'risia-dono.' Kenshin said gently. 'We'll take you to Megumi.'

'Great time for my magic to be almost non-existent-' L'risia muttered. Val looked at her curiously.

'What? But- ooh-' he blushed.

L'risia turned pink and whacked him over the head. 'No! Not that you baka! The longer I am here the less my magic seems to get, and I can't heal anything more than bruises!'

'Ow- well- I didn't know!'

The look on L'risia's face told him to shut up while he was ahead, so he did. Kaoru scratched her head.

'But how are we going to get her there?'

'I can ca-' Koru quickly stepped on Kenshin's foot. L'risia's eyes narrowed and then widened.

'Kaoru-dono you WOULDN'T!'

'Val, could you please carry L'risia and follow me?'

'WHAT?!' shouted L'risia, even though she'd been expecting it. Val grinned and swept L'risia off the ground.

'Hey! Put me down you hentai! Now!'

'Sorry priestess.' He grinned. 'You can't walk!'

'So- I'll lean on someone! Put me DOWN!'

'Not a chance.'

L'risia folded her arms and pouted at no one in particular. 'I think Xelloss wore off on you a little _too_ much. Remind me to have a word with him about that next time I see him.'

'Can I warn him first?' Val asked, faking anxiousness.

'No.' L'risia said firmly. Xelloss was going to get the WHOLE Barney song this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~u gotta luv the squigglies.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xelloss actually opened his eyes wide as Gohan read over his shoulder. 

'AAAAAHHHHHH!' he yelled, standing up so fast the chair flew out from behind him and made a dent in the wall. Filia's eye ticked. 'NOOOO!'

'Who's L-sama?' Gohan asked him.

'Kinda hard to explain-' Filia said as Xelloss went into hysterics. He'd been over-exaggerating lately. She'd decided he was hungry, and that was fine with her. Although if he didn't stop quoting someone called Shakespeare pretty soon he would get the _Barney Song. _

In the background, Vegeta yelled at Xelloss to shut up, and Trunks told Goten to turn the volume on the TV up. 

Xelloss appeared to exhaust himself and sat on the air, thoroughly disgruntled.

'Why me?' he moaned. 

'Why us.' Filia corrected. 'We must just be stuck because L-sama wants to set the others up or something.'

Xelloss lifted his head off his hands. 'You think she's setting them up? Well that would explain the Priestesses of Chaos, I'd been wondering what they've been up to. They knew all about us.'

Filia blinked at him. Xelloss sighed.

'Filia, it's quite obvious that L-sama has decided that Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Zelgadis are in denial of their feelings.'

'But Miss Lina and Mr Gourry are-'

'Hm. Yes, I'll admit that's a bit queer. Maybe they were drunk when it happened so they haven't actually declared their feelings of-' he gagged and stopped talking. Filia smiled sweetly.

'Love?'

Xelloss nodded, turning green. He looked grumpy. 'I'll bet Zelas is having a good laugh along with the rest of them.'

'But why us together?' Filia mused.

'We were the only ones left.' 

'Well- actually Cleo didn't seem that anxious to go with Dynast-' Filia stopped, one possibility occurring to her that she didn't want to have. Xelloss watched her. So, it had occurred to his little dragon too- wait, HIS dragon? Where the HELL had that come from? 

He sighed heavily. He was feeling tired, lately, and he had circles under his eyes. 

'Xelloss, are you all right?'

'Hm? Oh, yes Fi-chan!' he said brightly, and then to his horror, his coughed. Filia raised an eyebrow.

'You stayed green- you don't look at all well.' She said. Gohan agreed.

'Miss Filia's right, Xelloss, you look terrible! Maybe you should go to bed.'

'….I'm fine!'

Chichi, responding to her son's call, came in and felt Xelloss's forehead, only to snatch it away.

'You're burning up! Into bed! Now!'

'Iie Miss Chichi I'm fi-'

'NOW, XELLOSS!' Chichi yelled. As he let himself be dragged away, Xelloss muttered to Filia, 

'She's scarier than you!'

'What was that namagomi? You don't want the _Barney Song_, do you?'

'No!' he practically yelped. He'd have to get L'risia back for that. Damn Barney to hell. 

On second thought, that probably was probably too good for the little purple freak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lalalalalalalalala~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Where's Tenchi?'

'Gone to school.'

'Where's Ryoko?'

'Stalking him to make sure Ayeka isn't.'

'Where's Ayeka?'

'Stalking him to make sure Ryoko isn't.'

'Sasami?'

'At the movies.'

'Washu?'

'Sub-space laboratory.'

'Goddamnit I'm bored.'

'REALLY?!' shouted Cleo sarcastically. Dynast put a pillow over his head. He hadn't been feeling well lately. In fact, these moments alone with Cleo were the only time when he didn't feel ill, mainly because she wasn't insufferably cheerful like Kai'ila or that horrible justice-loving princess, or just happy like Sasami and Washu, or consumed with love like Ryoko and Ayeka. Tenchi was all right- for a human. His fear of the two girls made him good company for Dynast. Cleo thought he was kind of pathetic. 

'Did you read that letter?'

'Yup.'

'What did you think?'

'This sucks.'

'Those guys better get their act together.'

'Tell me about it.'

'I'm hungry.'

'Tell it to someone who cares, Dynast.' Cleo said, examining her fingernails. Dynast grinned. Cleo's little angry outbursts were the highlight in his day, almost as good as when Ryoko and Ayeka were fighting. She glanced at him irritably.

'What're you grinning about, Mazoku?'

'Nothing, Cleo, nothing.' He said quickly and picked up the TV remote. A boy with black hair showed him.

'I choose you, chara-'

'TURN IT OFF!' shrieked Cleo hysterically. In a panic, Dynast turned off the TV. Cleo sighed and slumped back in her chair.

'What was all that about?'

'It was Pokemon.' 

'The show that Zel and Amelia are in?'

Cleo opened one eye and looked at him, then the TV thoughtfully. 

'Hm-' 

Dynast turned the TV on again. 

'THAT'S ZELGADIS!' shouted Cleo, on the edge of her seat, and watched the orange dinosaur be blasted off into the sunset after the man they knew as Zelgadis made a sarcastic comment. 

'Will Ash ever be able to defeat this strange, powerful new Pokemon? Who is the mysterious girl accompanying him? Find out next time on Pokemon!'

Dynast turned it off and looked at Cleo.

'….' She said.

'Yup.'

'D'you think people can see us on television?'

'L-sama, I hope not. I'm hungry.'

'So? ARGH NO YOU WOULDN'T' Cleo shouted as he changed the station to watch Butt Ugly Martians. 

'I need to eat, you know.' Dynast grinned, enjoying her suffering. She glared at him, and shut her eyes before belting out the Barney Song at top volume. Finally Tenchi's dad came in.

'JUST SO YOU KIDS SHUT UP, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO SHOPPING?'

Cleo stopped singing, Dynast stopped screaming.

'Shopping? Cool! Thanks!'

'You have to take Dynast with you.'

'NO!' shouted Dynast, but a reluctant Cleo dragged him out the door.

'You need a new wardrobe anyway.' She said, looking at the credit card and fat wallet she now held in her hand. 'I wonder how big his limit is?'

ideas, I neeeed ideas! Writer's block guys! Help me out here!

Ja ne

Star-chan


	10. Chat Time! Megumi and Val sitting in a t...

_Author notes_: Hullo! Thnx for the reviews guys! And the ideas! (grins wickedly and rubs her hands together.) Ooh fun…ok-ay. Um. I might mention that it COULD get sappy sooo…deal with it, I can't help it. 

_Disclaimer_: read the f***** first chapter because nobody else cares.

Blah blah blah….

Casper blinked at the piece of paper Kai'ila had been staring at for the last half an hour and tapped it.

'Soooo- like we're STUCK here? With that blue-haired freak?'

'Uh, Casper, she's right behind you-' muttered Akito, hand over his mouth to cover his grin. Casper didn't look in the least be sorry OR surprised.

'I know that.' 

'You did?'

'Of course I did, why do you think I said it?'

'You are so rude!' Kai'ila scolded the ex-Mazoku, who had the grace to at least look offended. 

'Really.'

'Kai'ila?'

That voice was incredibly familiar. In fact, it sounded a lot like-

'LINA?!'

'Don't shout!' the anguished redhead shouted, covering her ears. Back in the digital world, she'd stolen Izzy's headset while the kid typed busily. 'Hey! You and Casper all right?'

'Yep, we're fine-uh- little hung over-'

'You got drunk? Did anything happen?' Lina grinned, looking at Gourry. 

'NO!' Casper and Kai'ila shouted defensively at the holographic image of Lina projected in front of them by the ship's communications system. Lina grinned wickedly.

'Su-ure-'

'Hey guys!' Gourry said, looking into the picture. 'What's up?'

'Hi Gourry, we're fine.'

'That's good- hey, Lina!'

'Get outta my way jellyfish-brains! A-hem. Anyway Kai'ila we figured out how to contact you, I don't know how but this kid called Izzy and his girlfriend Yolei-'

'She is NOT my GIRLFREIND!'

'Sure Izzy. Whatever. Anyway they're geniuses. We're all connected in some kind of parallel dimensional-link thingummy.'

'Ah- right-'

Casper looked thoughtful and tapped his chin. Lina rested her head on her hands. 'Do you think we could contact L'risia and Val this way?'

A slow smile crept over Kai'ila's face. 'Sure. Why not? It should work the same way provided her batteries haven't run out. And by the way- does your magical power seem to be decreasing?'

Lina's face creased. 'As a matter of fact, yes. It does- how about you?'

Kai'ila and Casper looked at each other and nodded reluctantly. 'It seems that since magic isn't in effect in the worlds we are in, the longer we are separated from our own world the less our capacity for magic seems to be then.'

Kai'ila and Lina looked, astonished, at Casper, and then agreed.

'Right. We're gonna have to figure this out, or at least get us all in the same dimension, this is ridiculous!'

'Hey Lina!' Yolei's voice shouted, 'What does your friend Val looked like?'

'Huh? He looked about eighteen or so with aqua-blue hair and golden eyes. Why?'

Yolei pointed to a window that had popped up on her own laptop. Val was looking at the screen from about a metre away, a funny look on his face.

'Hey Izzy! Get a connection!' Kai'ila demanded, then yelled, 'VAL! HEY MATE CAN YOU HEAR ME?!'

'Eh? Kai'ila? Lina and Gourry? Zat you?'

'Of course it is!' Lina smiled brilliantly at the dragon. 'No one else is so beautiful as me!'

'Right…' Val, Gourry, Casper and Kai'ila swapped a Look. 

'HEY!' Lina said angrily. 'Val, where's L'ri?'

'Oh, well, um-' Val blushed and rubbed the back of his head. 'She broke her ankle when she fell out of a tree-'

'L'risia? Fell out of a- what the hell did you DO to her?' Kai'ila demanded.

'Nothing! I mean, I was on the branch a bit above her to read something on her computer screen and the branch snapped-'

'….oh. WELL THAT WASN'T VERY ROMANTIC?'

Now Val looked completely lost.

'Oro?'

'I HEARD THAT KAI'ILA-SAN!'

'Uh-oh.'

L'risia flung herself into a chair next to Val and glared at the computer screen. Kai'ila, sweatdropping, threw the victory-sign and an oh-so-genki grin. L'risia scowled.

'One more remark like that and I'll slander you into the next millennium.'

Kai'ila raised an eyebrow. 'SOME one got up on the wrong side of the bad thing morning-'

'I didn't go to bed.' L'risia complained, and waved her bandaged ankle in the screen. Casper pulled a face. 'It hurts!'

'Can't you cast a healing spell?'

'Only a little at a time, my powers are going. How about yours?'

'Mine too.' Lina confirmed, and whacked Gourry over the head as he looked about to mention THAT time of the month. Again. A thought occurred to L'risia.

'Hey, Val, didn't Zel and Filia teach you some stuff? Can you still work magic?'

'Um- you want me to try? Here?'

L'risia looked around the dojo.

'Perhaps this isn't the best place.' She admitted. 'I doubt Kaoru-dono would appreciate it if you burnt the place to the ground-' 

'No kidding.' Val agreed. Kai'ila thought about Kaoru.

'You're right,' she said, 'how about Val goes and fries Saitou?'

'He's a COP.'

'And your point is….?'

'I'm not gonna blow up someone who can put me in jail.' Val said firmly. 

'But Val-' Casper began.

'No!'

'Okay, okay, don't get snappy- what's it like in that anime guys?' Kai'ila asked. 'Fun?'

L'risia smiled. 'It's pretty cool. Nice food, once you get the hang of the chopsticks- and Kaoru really is a horrible cook-'

'Does Kenshin really do the laundry?'

'Every day.'

'Cool!'

Lina and Casper just looked confused. L'risia rested her head on the heel of her hand.

'So everyone's still alive then?'

'We think so- us six are, obviously. Xelloss and Filia probably are, Mazoku and dragons are kind of hard to kill off- and for that reason I'd say Dynast and Cleo are still around, driving each other insane.'

'Better her than me.' L'risia couldn't help adding. Kai'ila rolled her eyes.

'And since Zelgadis and Amelia are apparently in Pokemon they're alive too. Unless they've fallen into a volcano or something.'

'Or run into Ash.' L'risia said snidely, and both girls giggled. Val sighed and brushed his nags out of his eyes. L'risia stopped laughing and looked at him.

'Something wrong Val?'

'No- just tired.'

'Why?'

'Um- no reason.'

She blinked at him and then shrugged, looking back at the screen. 'Hey- is Izzy there?'

'Right here, Miss L'risia!'

'Sugoi- listen can we set this link up all the time, because if I leave my computer on, the batteries will run out-'

'Sure,' he nodded, it's really quite simple, I can set up the mainframe so-'

After Val and Casper managed to decipher Izzy's language, it turned out all they had to do was press a button.

'Cool- thanks Izzy! I've got to go, I said I'd cook-' L'risia said, and got up. Val blinked.

'L'risia?'

'Mm?'

'You do know you're floating about a foot in the air, don't you?'

She blinked at him. 'Yep!'

'Oh. Well- as long as that's all right,' he shrugged. 'I should go as well, guys. See you later- see if you can get a hold of the others, okay? Try my mother.'

'Sure. Bye Val!' Lina waved. Val shut down the laptop and sighed. Yahiko skidded in the door. 

'Hide me!'

'Oro?' Kenshin asked. 

'Eh?

'What?'

Yahiko dived into the kitchen. L'risia blinked at him. 'Yahiko, what-?'

Lina sighed as Val and L'risia left, and looked at the faces of Casper and Kai'ila on the screen of Izzy's computer. 'Do you guys think you could get someone to help us to contact Zel and Filia?'

Kai'ila grinned.

'Oh Ruri!' she sang.

Zelgadis and Amelia walked through Saffron City, resigned to the fact the people around thought Zelgadis was a Pokemon and Amelia was his trainer, much to both of their frustration and embarrassment. Behind them, three figures were stalking them. One had hair the colour of Barbie's sports car and a serious overdose of hair gel. Her companion had purple hair had the last figure looked like a cat who thought it was human. 

'We've been following them for days and we haven't made one move,' Jesse complained to her purple-haired and cat companion. 

'Shut up Jesse,' the cat order, 'that Pokemon the girl calls Zelgadis is unlike anything we've seen before. If we couldn't even capture Pikachu, we're going to have worse luck with this one! We have to sort out their weaknesses first!'

'Meowth is actually right Jesse,' James said. 'We're hopeless so we're going to have to settle for stalking them-'

'Oh really?' a quiet voice asked. The trio jumped about a foot in the hair and looked into the half-hidden face of Zelgadis, who had been behind them the entire time with Amelia. 

'YAAAAAAH!' they screeched. Jesse, sensing an opportunity, threw out a pokeball.

'Oh no.' Amelia sighed, slapping her forehead.

'Arbok, go!!'

Zel looked at the purple and yellow snake with some interest. 'What on earth- let go of my arm you infernal creature! Fireball!'

Amelia regarded the fried snake with some compassion. 'Poor thing-'

'Wheezen! Go!'

'Amelia would you like to take care of this flying blob?'

'No, it's all right Zelgadis, you take it.'

Zelgadis lifted a hand and slammed the overgrown ball of swamp slime into a wall on the opposite side of the street, before Bomb-di-winding the group up, up, and away. He dusted off his hands. Amelia frowned.

'I'm starting to get annoyed.' She told her friend as they continued on their way. Zel looked at the princess, somewhat amused.

'Really?'

'Yes. You see, that boy with the black hair as been following us with his girlfriend for two weeks.'

Zel looked over his shoulder and saw Ash, Misty and Pikachu duck behind a ship sign. 

'They're terribly bad at stalking.' 

'Tell me about it.' Amelia grumbled. 'I mean if you're going to be unjust you might as well do it properly-'

Zel laughed, and Amelia looked at him in surprise. 'What?'

'Are you feeling all right, Amelia?' he grinned at her, 'you should have heard yourself then.'

Amelia smiled sheepishly, blushing a little. 'Well- I think I must have been hanging around Miss Lina too long.'

Zel smiled, and then as they passed a computer store…

'Zelgadis! Amelia! HEY!'

The pair looked around. 'I could have sworn I heard-' Zel felt Amelia tug at his sleeve, and wordlessly the princess pointed towards the many faces of Lina Inverse in the computer store, while the staff ran out screaming. Lina waved.

'Hey! Come over here!'

Zel let the door slam in Misty's face before locking it with a sealing spell, and turned to face the many screens filled with the now smaller image of Lina, Gourry, Kai'ila and Casper. 

'Hi guys!' Kai'ila grinned.

'Hello Miss Kai'ila!' Amelia smiled. 'Are you all right?'

'Never better! How about you two.'

'Fine.' Amelia and Zel answered. 'Have you managed to contact the others?'

'Only Val and L'risia.'

'How're they doing?' Zel asked curiously. Lina rolled her ruby eyes.

'L'risia's broken her ankle but otherwise they're fine. Listen, mine, Kai'ila's, L'ri's and Casper's powers are diminishing, and probably so are Val's, but he doesn't use them very often anyway. How about you guys?'

'No-o Zel's powers are fine.' Amelia said, rubbing her cheek. Kai'ila looked thoughtful.

'Well, actually that kind of makes sense- no, wait, Amelia what about your powers?'

'Um- okay so they aren't- quite what they used to be.' Amelia admitted. 'And it ISN'T that time of the month before ANYONE says ANYTHING!'

Zel sweatdropped. 

'No- look, Zel, do the people there think you're a Pokemon?'

'As a matter of fact they do-'

'Well that's why you can use your powers. We can't because either the people we're with know we're human and don't believe in magic and that reduces the effect from our world. You can because the people you're with think that you're a kind of creature that does have magical powers. Perhaps it's one of those things about belief.'

'But when we went over the border-'

Casper shrugged. 'Remember we're in some world that is a combination of all of them, Zel, it doesn't have to make sense.'

'And made by L-sama, who is currently watching over us along with Dolphin and Shabby.' L'risia's tired voice said, and soon her image popped up onscreen.

'L'risia?'

'I thought you had to cook dinner?'

'Yeah- well- the kitchen sort of got trashed-' L'risia looked over her shoulder and winced as Yahiko came skidding out and out of the dojo.  Kai'ila's eyebrows rose as Kaoru ran after him, and Kenshin got bowled out of the way.

'Er- L'ri, what-'

'Don't ask. Just don't.' L'risia mumbled. Another figure appeared in the doorway.

'Oh VAL-CHAN!'

'Val-chan?' Kai'ila sweatdropped. L'risia slapped her forehead as Megumi looked around the dojo. 

'Miss L'risia, have you seen my Val-chan?'

'HER Val-chan?!' the six people listening shouted, including Gourry. L'risia looked at them onscreen. 

'Megumi's taken a- small liking to our mutual dragon friend-'

'SMALL?!' shouted Amelia, Lina and Kai'ila as Megumi spotted the terrified-looking youth. 

'Okay so maybe that was as bad as saying Xelloss is slightly whacked but- VAL BEHIND YOU!'

Val ducked and Megumi flew over his head, and he accelerated away in the opposite direction.

'At that rate he'll be in Kyoto by dawn.' Kai'ila observed. L'risia sighed.

'Well, if Misao finds him maybe she'll look after him.' 

'You seem miserable.'

L'risia looked at her friends through her fingers and imitated Megumi's voice,

'L'risia, where's Val-chan, L'ri, have you seen my Val-chan? L'risia, could you get Val to meet me at the Akabeko? L'risia, could you-ARGH!'

'Yes, I can imagine,' Kai'ila said sympathetically. 'You poor baby.'

'Don't call me that.'

'Sorry L'risia-'

'AAAAAH L'RI SAVE MEEEE!'

'What do you want ME to do, Val?!'

'Something! Anything! Just get rid of her!'

'HOW?!' L'risia shouted after the youth as he fled past, Megumi right behind him. Sano took the fishbone out of his mouth and looked extremely amused.

'She's quite keen on the kid isn't she L'ri?'

'I feel sorry for him.'

'Me too- but then again, it used to be Kenshin.'

'Hai, but now it's Val's turn. His mother will KILL me.'

'You're baby-sitting him? How OLD is he?'

'Er- about- four-years-'

Sano and Kenshin blinked at L'risia. 'Smooth.' Zel commented. 

'Shut up.'

'FOUR YEARS OLD?!?!' Sano shouted. 

'I meant twenty-four! His mother's my, um, stepbrother's aunt and -and over-protective cow! He doesn't need looking after obviously but his mother can still get mad at me!'

Sano and Kenshin relaxed while the rest of the group sweat-dropped. L'risia started breathing again. 

'He doesn't look twenty-four.'

'Ah- he's- always looked younger than he is.' L'risia said, smiling flakily and turned back to the computer. 

'Whew.'

'Good thing Filia didn't hear that.' Gourry grinned.

'Tell me about it. At least the last bit is true.'

L'risia muttered some expletives under her breath. Kai'ila's eyebrows shot up.

'L'risia!'

'Well I'm pissed off. Megumi never shuts-'

'Oh L'ri-chan could you give this to Val-sama when he comes back?' Megumi said sweetly, gliding past. L'risia sweatdropped.

'Val-sama?'

Megumi was gone and L'risia sniffed the letter in her hand, and sneezed. 'Wow!'

'Strong?' Amelia inquired.

'I think I'm gonna be sick.' L'risia said, opening the letter and skimming it through. Kenshin and Sano peered over her shoulder, and Sano fell over laughing while Kenshin's eyes bugged out of his head. L'risia held the letter up to the screen. Casper went green and Zel read the first sentence and blushed. The girls managed to get to the end of the letter, and Kai'ila fell over laughing. Lina and Amelia were in shock. 

L'risia, still pale, carefully folded the letter back up again. 

'Oh DEAR L-SAMA!' shouted Lina and Amelia together and then proceeded to practically kill themselves with laughter.

'I'm sure it's funny to you,' L'risia said, 'you're not the one who has to put up with Megumi.'

'Is she gone?' Val asked. 'What's so funny, Sano?'

Silently L'risia tossed him the letter. Lina held her breath and Gourry giggled, sounding eerily like Xelloss. Zel watched Val's face carefully. Kai'ila paused and Casper looked rather interested. L'risia looked like she was expecting the sky to fall on her head. Val turned white. Then pink. Then crimson. Then purple. Then blue, and finally an interesting shade of green greatly resembling Xelloss after line #2 of the Barney Song. He grabbed L'risia.

'HIDE ME!' he shouted. 

'Let me go first!'

He got a grip on himself and lowered the girl back to her chair. L'risia breathed out and looked at her friends on the screen.

'Any ideas?'

Kai'ila grinned nastily. 'Oh yes. I have an idea.'

'What?' Val and L'risia asked suspiciously, not liking her expression one BIT..

And since that's already waaaaay too long X/F is the NEXT chapter!! As well as Cleo & Dynast 

Ja ne

Star-chan


	11. Xelloss and Filia and doing WHAT?! Black...

Author Notes: I'm sorry this took soooo long to come up I'm on summer holz now (yes!) so I'll try and finish this as quick as I can! Ideas for character set-ups (these aren't going tooo well) /ending/how I get them back to the slayers universe will be welcome! ^_^

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chichi and her family had gone out. Bulma had gone home with Trunks and Vegeta had disappeared (surprise). Chichi had made sure Filia understood that no matter how annoying Xelloss was, no matter how suggestive he got, the house STILL had to be standing and its insides intact when she, her husband and sons got home. Filia sat ungraciously in her chair and looked disgustedly at her charge, currently white, covered in sweat and looking increasingly uncomfortable. Filia felt a pang of compassion and gingerly smoothed his purple bangs out of his eyes, wincing as her fingers stroked away the wetness on his forehead. With a resigned sigh, Filia stood up and went to get a damp cloth. 

Xelloss felt absolutely disgusting. His mouth was dry and his head hurt like hell, he couldn't focus on anything and he was hot and cold at the same time. Someone was wiped his forehead. Who? He opened an eye and almost fell out of the bed. Filia!

'Fi-chan?' he murmured, shocked to hear his voice sound so cracked and pitiful.

'Hm? How do you feel?'

'Like crap.' Xelloss said heatedly. 

'You've gotten a very nasty cold.'

'HOW?!' he demanded, trying to sit up. The room swam and he flopped back on the bed. 'Dear L-sama-'

'Namagomi, we're in a world in a world created by L-sama and watched by an audience of Dolphin and Shabarnigdo. There IS no reason. And don't think that I'm enjoying this.'

'I'd have thought you'd love to see me bedridden F-chan.'

'Not if I'm the one who has to look after you!!'

They sat in silence for a little while. Then- 'Filia, who the HELL took my shirt off?!'

'Chichi.' Filia said calmly. Xelloss relaxed.

'Oh.'

'You don't think I'd touch you, do you?' she said disgustedly. Xelloss groaned.

'I bet Zelas really does think this is hilarious.'

'We're BOTH suffering here, if you don't mind, and if you give ME your cold YOU'LL have to look after ME so just make sure you get better!'

'Fi-chan!' Xelloss protested. She glared at him and for once he gave up.

'Whatever.' He really didn't feel at all well. Soon the annoying Mazoku was asleep again, leaving Filia to sit alone in shock. 

Everyone's favourite priest wasn't better by that night either, in fact he was decidedly worse, and even Filia was starting to get worried. She was up until two am, at which point the purple-haired weirdo woke up screaming his head off.

'Xelloss?' Filia said, gently pushing him back down on the pillows and sitting down by his side. She was beginning to think of him, as less an annoying Mazoku, now, he just needed someone to help him. 'It was just a dream-'

Xelloss let Filia's cool hand brushed his hair away from his face like a cool morning breeze on his skin.  

'Why are you doing this, Filia-san?'

'Because- because Lina will kill me if you don't come back alive. And, most likely, so will your mistress. And Val, because for some reason he seems quite fond of you.'

'I'm touched.' Xelloss said, raising a hand dramatically. 'I'm the father he never had! Sob!'

'You're a terrible actor.' Filia said, trying to keep a straight face. It was too early in the morning for her to act normally, and her inner self cursed as Xelloss, looking at her struggling expression, continued his emotional act.

'WAAH! It's just sooo moving-'

'Shut up namagomi!' Filia scolded, knowing it sounded more an affectionate scolding as one would a son or- she stopped as Xelloss glanced at her. Fila shook her head. She'd have to stop THINKING like that or she'd gone insane. It was too early for the namagomi's tricks…

'Fi-chan, you look tired, have you been sitting there all day?'

Filia nodded and rubbed her eyes. Argh this was Xelloss being a baka again- she was letting down her guard! Not good!

'Filia?'

'M fine Xel's..'

'No you're not, you're exhausted, I can feel it. How am I supposed to tease you properly if you're too tired to hit me?' he pouted, poking her playfully. 'Get to sleep. I won't _die_.'

Filia snorted and wrapped a blanket around her. 'Well- maybe a few hours then-'

Xelloss watched the dragon quickly fall asleep. Hm. His vision swam, and Xelloss like the fever take him over again. 

Gohan and Goten peeked into the room before they left for school the next morning. Xelloss was sleepily restlessly on the bed, his purple hair a mess and the covers kicked off. Filia sat near his pillow, her hand resting lightly on his forehead and the other loosely grasped in his hand. The brothers looked at each other and quietly shut the door. 

'How is Mr Xelloss?' Chichi asked them as they came downstairs.

'He doesn't look much better. Filia's sleeping by the bedside-'

Chichi nodded.

'Well, it's understandable she's been looking after him for twenty-four hours.'

'Yeah, she needed a rest.' Goku agreed.  

_In the room Filia and Xelloss were in, a computer siting on the table suddenly lights up in life, windows flipping up and filling the darkened room with the blue-white light of electronic confusion…_

_* * * * * * * * *_

'OH MY GOD!

'WHAT THE HELL?!?!"

* * * * * * * * *

'FOR THE LOVE OF L-SAMA!'

'Lina, what- AAAAAAAHHHHH!

* * * * * * * * * 

'I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!'

'BLACKMAIL! HAHA! YES!' 

'….'

* * * * * * * *

'THIS IS GREAT! LOVE AND JUSTICE TRIUMPH OVER ALL!!'

'….Hehe…haha…. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

L'risia sat down heavily on the floor where Val had crashed in shock. The sound of Zelgadis and Casper laughing echoed through the speakers, to where Lina and Gourry were looking at each other trying to figure out what the hell had happened. Kai'ila just gaped at the screen and swapped a look with Amelia, who was grinning and wide-eyed. 

'What the HELL is going on?!?!' shouted Val, accurately summing up the situation for Lina, L'risia, Kai'ila and Zelgadis, who was over his initial hysterics and was trying to figure out why Filia was sitting so-cough- close to Xelloss. In the same room, for that matter. On the same _bed_. 

'Is there a problem?' Matt asked as Lina began muttering under her breath very un-ladylike swear words. 

'Yes- well no, not really but- the blonde there is a dragon and the purple-haired guy is s Mazoku- a demon. They don't- or should I say didn't- get along because there was this little _issue_ of him destroying an entire clan of golden dragons…anyway she calls him 'Namagomi' etc-' L'risia jabbed her finger at the other image, 'and now, as you can see they're in the same room and not fighting. And holding hands, I might add.'

This abbreviated explanation was enough to lose the listening digi-destined and give the Lina-tachi some time to recover. Suddenly, two familiar and rather annoyed looking faces popped up onscreen. The blonde's face lit up.

'KAI'ILA! L'RI!'

'Oh no,' L'risia said immediately, and then grinned at her friend's expression. 'Hi Cleo- how's it goin' Dynast?'

'You and I are going to have a little talk after this is over, L'risia, and only one of us will survive.'

'Really?' L'risia grinned, and it wasn't exactly innocent. A better term would, perhaps, be predatory. 'What kind of flowers would you like at your funeral, Dynast?'

'Break it up you two-' Lina ordered, 'Okay Cleo- just how did you guys get on here anyway?!'

'Hi Lina!' Cleo said brightly, and grinned as Dynast looked a bit sick. 'Well Washu here-'

'Heellloooo! I'm Washu, only the most brilliant scientist in the entire universe!'

'And modest.' L'risia noted. Val snickered. The rest of them just sweatdropped at the pink-haired woman, who asked,

'WHAT?!'

'A-hem.' Dynast said, pushing her out of the way. 'Anyway- since we've established communications, we need to find a way to all get in the same dimension.'

'Hi boss!' 

'Casper? Why the hell are you so cheerful.'

Casper counted on his fingers.

'One- I'm under this Mazoku-binding spell so I'm mostly human. Two, I'm still a bit drunk, three, I think Kai'ila's personality is contagious, and four- I didn't spend hours shopping.'

'How did you-'

Casper grinned and pointed at the pile of shopping behind the pair.

'oooo-' L'risia and Kai'ila moaned. Cleo appeared to notice the Xelloss-Filia image down the bottom of the screen, which, Kai'ila noted now that she was over the initial shock, kind of sweet. Casper was taking evidence photographs and Lina was coercing Izzy into printing off images. Cleo's reaction was to stare, her blue eyes bugging out and she nudged Dynast, pointing. He looked. And giggled hysterically, like a psychotic scientist on crack. 

'That sound is going to give me nightmares for a month.' Amelia said to Zel, who smirked. 

'Er-' Cleo looked at the eight friends onscreen, who just shook their heads. 'WELL WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!'

'Ssh!'

'Cleo!'

'Uh-oh-'

'HIDE!'

'WHERE, GENIUS?'

'Shut up!'

'Now we've done it…'

'Eep-'

Filia and Xelloss woke up. Filia shot back across the room so fast she cracked her head on the wall.

'Ooh that's gotta hurt.' Casper and Dynast said, not looking the least bit sympathetic. Kai'ila hit Casper over the head.

'Don't be so insensitive.'

'Sorry, old habit.'

'You know you're nicer when you're drunk.'

'Was that a compliment or an insult?'

'I think it was more an observation.' Ruri said, resting her chin in her hands. Casper rolled his eyes. Meanwhile Filia and Xelloss both dived to the computer screen, Xelloss still flushed from his fever and the blanket pathetically hugged around him.

'What the HELL are you lot doing on this- THING?!' Filia demanded. 

'It's a computer, Filia-chan.'

'Shut UP! Well?'

'Xelloss, you don't sound too good.' Kai'ila observed, 'Are you okay man?'

'She's right,' Val agreed, 'You sound-' he paled as a voice cooed, 

'Oh VAL-CHAN!'

L'risia covered her mouth as the aqua-haired youth disappeared out the window at light speed. Xelloss blinked.

'What was all that about?'

'Oh a woman here's become obsessed with him.' L'risia sighed, jerking a thumb at the pouting Megumi. 'Do you have a cold or something Xel?'

'Yes I did get a bit ill.' The priest conceded. 'I haven't a clue why.'

L'risia's fingernails drummed the table. 'Maybe the dimensions weaken out magical fields or composition or something. We can figure it out later. You need to get better and we all need to get into the same place.'

'But where?' Cleo asked. 'We don't know what we're doing.'

'So we'll go somewhere where there is someone who does.' 

'And where's that?' Casper asked snidely. L'risia shrugged and directed Megumi out the back door. A few seconds later Val jumped in the window ran out into the street and headed for the Akabeko. L'risia turned back the to computer.

'Dunno. Assuming we can get into any anime show- we should have one with geniuses in it.'

There was a collective silence broken by Lina and Gourry eating their way through the picnic, and having a race with Davis and Yolei. A nerve began to twitch on L'risia's head as sounds of Megumi's incessant lamenting for her lost love drifted around the dojo.

'Uh-oh she's getting pissed off.' Cleo said, producing an army hat. 

'Is that a problem?' Ryoko Subaru asked.

'Yes.' Cleo and Kai'ila answered firmly. L'risia now had her eyes screwed shut and she suddenly disappeared.

'What the-'

'L'risia?'

'Where'd she go?'

'L'ri? Uh-'

'….'

L'risia crashed to the dark stairs and stood up, grumbling. 'Ow- where the hell am I- oh noooo-' she said as her gaze fell on a wide-eyed blonde teenager in front of a computer, a badge with A.D.P on her arm. 'Oh NO-'

'You- just came out of the computer!' Nene Romanova gasped. 

'Yah.' L'risia agreed. 'I'm kinda getting USED to it now oh I am going to KILL someone I really, really need to- IZZY!' she leaned over Nene's stall and waved. 'Hi!'

'L'risia! Lina, Miss Washu and I found your friend! She's in another anime called Bubblegum Crisis!'

Washu popped up onscreen. 'Yes, that's right kid. I've monitored the kind of energy you're transmitting and-'

'It's similar to the energy released when something comes through a Chulip.' Inez Fresange interrupted. 

'I was saying it's similar to teleportation.' Washu said, looking a little irate. 'If I'm correct then I believe I can get you all into one anime show. Which one?'

'Wait- why did I- teleport here or whatever?' L'risia said. 'I'M IN BUBBLEGUM CRISIS L-SAMA DAMMIT!'

'Calm down L'ri,' Kai'ila said, 'deep breaths- breathe in, breathe out- breathe in-'

L'risia's face turned to it's normal shade. 'Right. Okay. Well- since I'm here- how about Nene and Sylia? They're smart!'

'You bet I am!' the eighteen-year-old cop behind L'risia said. 'But wait- how do you know that? And who are all these people on the screen?'

'Well you see Nene dear,' Cleo said, resting her chin in her hands. 'It's like this-'


	12. What do we do now?

Dynast was seeing stars. And he didn't approve. Nor did he like it, which with most people is considered the same thing. In fact if the f******* stars didn't stop f******* flashing he would find whoever was the cause of this whole f******* mess and shove the f******* flashing stars up his/her/its self-centred f******* arse. The starts stopped and he hit the ground with a crack. Cleo scratched her head and glanced at L'risia, who had her lips pursed.

'Interesting- language skills.' L'risia commented, and ducked under the flying side kick, instinctively punching him in the stomach. Cleo joined in, slamming him into the wall just because the Dark Lord had _really_ been pissing her off. 

On the computer, Lina, Amelia and Zelgadis cheered, in Lina's case, through a mouthful of some by now unidentifiable foodstuff. Kai'ila looked a tiny bit sympathetic and Casper, Xelloss and Filia were holding up scorecards. (in case you're wondering- Gourry's still feeding his face ^_^;;)

'You guys could be a little MORE SYMPATHETIC!' shouted Kai'ila. 

'Kai, he's a Dark Lord.' 

'Oh yeah. I give it a eight-point five.'

'Are you kidding?! There isn't even a decent crack in the wall!'

L'risia rubbed the back of her head and shrugged at a scared and amused Nene, who by now had some sort of grasp on the situation despite the fact most people would have run away screaming by now. Cleo sighed as her friend continued to argue and pushed Nene away from the computer. Sylia, in the background and possessed of her natural foresight, covered her ears.

'WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE SHUT UP AND QUIT ACTING LIKE CHILDREN? I mean I understand you have the mental age of them BUT THAT IS _NOT_ THE POINT! NENE, SYLIA, MACKEY, AND IZZY AND YOLEI ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT- eh Zel? Ash is standing behind you with a pokeball-'

'BOMB-DI-WIND you little nutcase!'

Everyone sweatdropped as Kai'ila laughed hysterically as a certain black-haired brat disappeared rapidly into the sky. 

'Uh- who's Ash?' Linna Yamazaki asked politely from behind the computer. 

'Another cartoon character- Kai'ila, get off the table. Casper could you just get that bottle off her and Yurika- thanks- OOH! Lollipops!' L'risia yanked off the top of the packet and stuff two in her mouth, eyes closed and looking smug. Cleo snatched the packet off her.

'HEY!'

'Mine!'

'I found them first!'

'Uh- L'risia- what are you doing in the computer?'

L'risia let go on the packet suddenly, sending her friend crashing into the wall. 

'Oh hi Val- um- yes. Well. I got transferred and the combined geniuses managed to get Cleo and Dynast here as well.'

'You mean you're in another anime show?'

'Ten out of ten!' L'risia shouted, on a high.

'Broken ankle.'

'I forgot-' L'risia collapsed into a chair. 'Lose Megumi?'

'SSSSSH!' the panicked dragon hissed. Confused face blinked at him and then Gourry shouted,

'HEY! MEGUMI! YOU OUT THERE! Ow! Liiiinaaaaa-'

'You baka! What did you do that for? No one can transfer Val if someone from there is around! Oh wait, L'ri, what would happen to your computer?'

'Well, technically speaking the computers electronic signals just make your transfers from dimension to dimension easily.' Inez said. 'Its possible that we can generate that signature into an alternate frequency-'

'Oro?'

'Eh?'

'I don't get it Zelgadis.'

'I'm not sure I do either.'

'Kai?'

'Do I look like Miss Fresange to you?!'

'Dynast stop moaning.'

'Yes ma'am- HEY'!'

'Don't hit women, Mr Dynast.'

'WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UUUUP!!!' yelled Val and Filia. Everyone did. L'risia let out a low whistle.

'Well thank you, you two, I never did like hearing that much-'

'Not that you used your ears much anyway-'

'Shut UP Xelloss.'

Cleo was getting worked up. 'Uh, Cleo?' Kai'ila said. 'Ooooh dear….I think we'd all better shut up noooow….'

'Yeah that sounds like a g- YAAA-AAAH MEGUMI!'

It would have been funny if it wasn't so tragic. Megumi was on the man in a second, covering him with kisses. Xelloss and Casper turned that wonderful shadow of green you get after putting tree frogs in a blender. 

(er. It's a metaphor. I've never put tree frogs in a blender. Really.)

L'risia looked quite ill herself, along with Zelgadis who was green, blue and pink at the same time, quite an achievement, Amelia thought later.

'Isn't that sweeeeet.' She gushed at the current moment. Nene and Washu swapped a glance with Izzy and Yolei. Washu was already taking action, and soon Filia stood by her son, blinking. Val dived behind the blonde woman.

'Help!' he shouted.

'Val, you've got lipstick all over your-hehe- fa-a-a-c-s-sshheeeeeeehehehehehehehe!' Xelloss cackled, and fell off his chair. L'risia, who was watching with her arms folded, sweatdropped.

'Mazoku….'

'I agree with L'ri. Keep your hands off my son, woman!'

Megumi flew out the dojo door. Kenshin blinked. 'Oro? Miss- where did you- Val? Do you know this woman? Why did Megumi just fly out the door? AND WHAT IS MISS L'RISIA DOING ON THAT- screeny-thing?'

'Hi Kenshin!' L'risia said, forcing on brightness. _Oh shit._ 'It kind of goes like this. Um- Val and I are from an alternate dimension. The device, which you see me on, is a communication device, which makes our passage between worlds easier. Our friends were split up from us when we got stuck in your world but we got some help and when Megumi threw herself on Val um- his- mother got transferred- she's- protective…'

Kenshin blinked. 'Okay….' He said slowly. And fell backwards. Filia and Val kneeled down beside him.

'Good thing Miss Kaoru's out.' Muttered Val. 'He'll be all right. Okay can you get us to that world?' he indicated the window of the BGC world. 

'Coming right up. Please keep you arms and legs inside the computer at all times.' Xelloss said cheerfully into a microphone. Cleo rolled her eyes. 

L'risia blinked at the computer screen, through at the dojo. 'Well, they've disappeared-'

'Oh dear.'

'That's not a good sound.' L'risia told Washu, raising an eyebrow. 'I don't like that sound. What now?'

'Uh-'

'OW! GEEZ FILIA GET OFF ME!'

'Please excuse Zelgadis, Miss Filia, he's low on caffeine. Thankyou Val.'

L'risia snickered smugly over her hot coffee Mackey had made. Then she noticed something she turned around and said something to Cleo, whose eyes widened, and, with her usual tact, pushed her way to the computer screen and shrieked,

'AMELIA! You aren't calling Zelgadis "Mr" anymore!'

Zelgadis disappeared off screen in a great hurry, leaving a pink cloud of embarrassment behind him. Cleo began to suspect there was something on a different level going on that she didn't know about. She slammed her fist down.

'Dammit! Get them all here! Now! I don't care if you use all the power in Tokyo!'

L'risia and Mackey leaned away from the girl a little bit. 

'I think you'd better try, Nene, Sylia.' Mackey said quietly. 

'e-he- yeah.' Nene agreed. 'Washu! Izzy, Yolei, Inez, okay everyone here NOW!'

Nene and Mackey dived under a table and waited until the crashes had died away and the dust had cleared from the air. 

'We've got to do something about those landings.' Someone muttered. 

'Where's Nene and Ma-' L'risia pulled up a corner of a tablecloth. 'Ulp. Uh- hahah- you guys, um- yes. Everyone can, um, see you. The tablecloth- well, you see its-'

'See though.' Val supplied, grinning over her shoulder.

'Yes.'

'WHA-AT?!'

After (cough) recovering (in Xelloss, Casper and Dynast's case, from laughter cramps which had forced them to be bent double for several hours) from the Nene-Mackey completely surprised scene, the Lina-tachi left an EXTREMLEY embarrassed pair of teenagers to be interrogated by one Miss Sylia Stingray, a snickering Priss and a Linna anxious for gossip she'd apparently missed out on. Of course- sicne they were in Tokyo, there were some…issues that had been addressed.

…One was Clothing.

Sylia owns Silky Doll, and for anyone who has seen BGC, you know what this is implying. For those of you that don't- picture Britney Spear's wardrobe. Now cross it with what you picture as being Playboy. Got that? Good. It's like that. 

You can stop screaming now.

'I feel so embarrassed. I don't see why Zelgadis and Val got to borrow Mackey's clothes.' Lina grumbled.

'Because they're the shortest and since Mackey's clothes and about ten sizes to big for him, they fit them perfectly. As for the other four we're going to have to find something- yeek!' Kai'ila held down the skirt she'd been forced to wear because it matched her eyes perfectly. It could have been a handkerchief, but when Casper thought about mentioning that, fully meaning it as a compliment, Xelloss who possessed a disturbing ability to read minds now and then ask him how he felt about been a hole in the side of a skyscraper. In the middle of 2040 Tokyo. And in the company of a pissed off priestess who, despite being a a mini mini skirt, would bash him into the ninth hell. 

Casper didn't say anything. It was a good survival strategy. Meanwhile L'risia and Cleo had spotted a surf shop. 

(er. For all you Americans a surf shop is where most teenagers in Australia buy their clothes from. They're like temples of fashion. Sad, but true. ^_^;) 

They disappeared.

'Uh- Cleo? L'risiaaaa? Oh-' Val trailed off and caught the jeans and shirt L'risia threw at him, and dished out other pairs of DECENT clothing to the rest of the group.

'What're these?' 

'Clothes.' Cleo told Dynast nastily. 'Find somewhere to- NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE F****** STREET!'

'His language use is rubbing off on you, Cleo.'

'Oh shut UP.'

Kai'ila blinked at Zelgadis, Xelloss and Val checking out their new clothes, all in a nice row. L'risia had gone pink and was trying not to stare. Cleo let out a tiny sound that sounded like, 

'gik-'

Casper glanced at the red head, and walked in front of her line of vision. Kai'ila keeled over.

'Excuse me…' Cleo pushed past, dragging L'risia, 'you've just overdosed her. Now-' she slapped both women across the face. Hard. 

'Thanks.' L'risia gasped, rubbing her cheek. 'Whooo- major hottie overdose-' she muttered.

Cleo slapped her again.

'Ow! What was that for!'

'Don't SCARE me like that! You never say things like that!'

L'risia shrugged, blushing. 'Uh, call it shock.' She said, and rubbed the back of her head. 

'Amelia do you ALWAYS have to have something with pink on it?' Lina asked her friend. 

'I guess I just don't notice,' Amelia shrugged. 

'Riight. Well,' Dynast said, smoothing down his red t-shirt, 'we're all in the same dimension. How do we get back to the one we belong in?'

'Well- the way we got here was because L'risia someone managed to get so pissed off with Megumi's lovesick shrieking it created enough energy to transfer her.' Cleo said, summoning up common sense and the coherent bits that Washu had explained to her. 'So Nene and Sylia were able to come up with similar energy signatures and managed to transfer all of us by tracing L'ri's energy trace as well as creating the same kind of-'Okay we get the idea.' Lina said. 

'Er- we do?' Gourry asked.

'Yes, we do.' Zel told him firmly. 'Look Gourry- here's some money, go buy us something to eat, will you?'

'Sure! Anyone else coming?'

'I will,' Dynast sighed, following the swordsman. 'Just so you don't forget to carry the food all the way here. I have a headache and I don't need Lina screaming right now.' 

'I HEARD that.'

'I know you did, Lina dear.'

Lina scowled at Xelloss, who was actually listening to Cleo's explanation with an expression of interest, or as near as he came to interest with his eyes shut and his mouth bent into that almost-permanent smile of his. 

'Yes Lina-chan?'

'I'm beginning to think all Dark Lords have a little bit of you in them, fruitcake.'

'Or the other way around.'

'Or the other way around.' The red-head conceded. 'Keep going, Cleo.'

'As I was saying, it means that we have to have someone in the Slayers world first off to be traced, right?'

'Something like that.'

'Who's feeling up to being pissed off?' Casper asked cheerfully.

'No! We can't do that. Well, I mean we can, obviously because it's now pretty obvious that strong emotions create the energy necessary to get- teleported or jumped or whatever you call it, but we don't know where that is. We're all only here because Nene and the others were able to send us.'

'Meaning we'll all get separated again in different worlds and be worse off than when we started.' Kai'ila translated.

'Yes.'

Xelloss rubbed his forehead and took a takeaway box of teriyaki chicken off Gourry, helping himself to chopsticks. He appeared to think about something, then took another box and threw it to Filia.

'Catch, Fi-chan.'

The blonde was too surprised to do anything else. Val opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. 

'What have you done to it, namagomi?'

Lina was watching Xelloss's face veeerry carefully, and didn't miss the tiny flinch. 

'Absolutely nothing, I just took it off Gourry! Geez!'

Filia frowned but said nothing as the rest of the gang swamped Gourry and Dynast for the food. 

'Food, foood, wonderful fooooood!' sang Lina, digging into her sukiyaki. 

'Are you ALWAYS hungry Miss Lina?'

'Almost.' Lina grinned. Zelgadis sighed wearily and sat down on the pavement, back against the wall.  After a moment Amelia joined him. 

'What do we do now then?' Casper asked Kai'ila, waving his chopsticks. She sighed and paused over sukiyaki. 

'Dunno-'

'We'll figure this out.' Val said cheerfully, waving his chopsticks like a baton. L'risia raised an eyebrow and slurped up a noodle. 

'You're optimistic.'

'Yes, and you're a pessimist. That's why we get along so well, we balance nicely.' Val told her with a grin, hitting her on the nose with his chopsticks. She rubbed it and glared at him.

'Whatever.'

'Isn't that cute-' Kai'ila began with a grin, but saw the look on L'risia's face as the blue-haired priestess and Val made fairly obvious gestures including Casper. 

'I'll shut up now.' Kai'ila said. Casper, who'd missed the whole thing, looked around in bewilderment.

'What? Did I miss something?'

'Never mind, Casper, never mind.' 

A/N- hey guys below is something my friends and I have decided is necessary after discovering we have no anime stores. I've had a suspicion but it's pretty much confirmed now.

AUSSSIE ANIME APPEAL 

Okay I am aware this is sad and totally insane but I can tell you what else is insane. The lack of ANIME down here. It's shocking, and due to complaints and begging from the few people I know who even know anime exist (thanks to my cousins and myself, I might add, they're all addicted. Apart from my sister. She watches it because she has nothing better to do with her life. Neither do I but that's not the point. She thinks I'm nuts. O.o) I've decided to put up an appeal. If you guys know any anime stores websites or phone numbers or fax numbers (no, I don't care even if they're on MARS) could you put them in your reviews or send them to the appeal at aussie_anime@hotmail.com

Thankyou sooooo much for helping us extend our anime rights. ^_^;

Star-chan & friends


	13. Pnemonic Xelloss and we're still in the ...

'We look like a load of bums.' Announced Cleo with disgust. 

'We _are_ a load of bums.'

Cleo gave Kai'ila an evil glare and looked around. The group was sitting on the roadside, a fire in a garbage bin. Xelloss was getting Filia drunk, by the look of it. L'risia had disappeared again. 

'Where's L'ri?'

'Probably on the roof, watching the moon rise.'

Cleo blinked. 'The moon rises?'

'I think so.'

'Oh.' She looked up to the top of a skyscraper, shading her eyes although there really

 was little need to. 

'Hm.'

Another piece of paper dropped into her hands. Lina looked up. 'What's that, Cleo?'

Cleo frowned at the writing, and then sighed, and held it out for Filia to read, Xelloss looking over her shoulder.

'Dear Lina-tachi (inc three Chaos Priestess, Dynast & Casper). You're all in the same dimension! Good! However- nothings really happened. Yet. New test!' everyone groaned. Dynast started banging his head on a drain pipe. F ilia kept reading, ignoring Xelloss's breath on her neck with some difficulty.

'Uh- get some rest and then you will see what the test is- I should warn you that it is a very real threat. Love L-sama.'

'That's weird.' Amelia said after a moment's silence. 

'Yeah, well, there's something u here I think you guys should see.' L'risia's voice floated down.

'What?' Val shouted up. L'risia leaned over the edge of the rood to look down at them, and shrugged her shoulders.

'It's like a hole. A hole in space.'

Pause.

'Good dramatic line.'

'Thanks.'

The group stood on top of the building, the wind blowing their clothes and making Xelloss shiver a bit, since Filia had dumped her spring water all over him, as well as Zelgadis's, who had donated his willingly to the cause. Lina and Cleo's had been taken somewhat more forcefully. 

'I'm f-f-f-reeezing.' He muttered, shivering. He sneezed. 

'Oh no, you were getting over a cold too, weren't you.' Val reminded him. Xelloss looked miserable, and sneezed so had he fell over onto his backside.

'Ow! Ah-CHOO.'

'Filia, since you're responsible for this,' Kai'ila said firmly, 'I think you should look after Xelloss.'

L'risia and Cleo's mouths slowly curved into evil grins which only Zelgadis and Lina noticed. 

'What? But-'

'You did it before, and no one else will do it.' 

'Miss Kai'ila, I-'

'NO, Amelia, you _won't do_ _it_.' Repeated the three priestesses and Lina, who was getting the general idea and trying not to laugh.

'But- oh. Right. I'm not doing it.' Amelia said slowly. 

'You're aren't?' Gourry asked.

'Nope.'

'But- Lina, what're we going going do about this big- black- hole thingy?' 

'Hole thingy?' repeated L'risia, rasing an eyebrow. 'Haven't you ever seen a vortex before? No, I'm sure you wouldn't remember even if you had. This is what you do.'

L'risia walked to the edge of the skyscaper, muttered, 'I hate doing this-'

'Me first!' Cleo shouted, and threw herself off the side of the building.

'…oh.'

'Miss Cleo!'

'It's all right, she went into the vortex. There goes L'risia- Lina and Gourry- Kai'ila and Casper, Val-' Zelgadis paused. 'You want to go?'

'Uh- sure!' the black-haired girl replied, and unthinkingly took the chimera's hand as the stood on the edge. Zel turned pink but let himself be pulled along by Amelia anyway. Filia and Xelloss watched Dynast jump in. 

'Is it safe?' Filia asked Xelloss, who sneezed as she ungraciously looped an his arm around her shoulders and put her arm about his waist, pulling him to his feet again. 

'Oh yes.'

'You really do sound horrible.'

'Why thankyou, Fi-chan. I think I have pneumonia.'

'Will it kill you?' Filia asked, a trace of worry in her voice as they weaved awkwardly to the edge of the building.

'Hopefully.' Xelloss muttered.

'It's a cave.'

'It's is?'

'NO Gourry, it's just dark, rocky and bloody damp with stupid bloody annoying pebbles that slip out from under you-' L'risia snapped, who was dusting off the back of her jeans.

'What's with her?' Val asked Cleo.

'She slipped.'

'Oh. That explains the pebble thing. Where's mum and Xelloss?'

'Over here.' Filia said, 'and I think Xelloss is- very ill.'

'I should think so- do you know it was snowing just before we left?' Kai'ila muttered, finding the woman in the dark. She put a hand on Xelloss's forehead. There was a sizzling sound and she snatched it away,

'YOWCH! Owowowowowow-'

'Hot?' Casper inquired mildly, hands in his pockets.

'BLOODY SCALDING! Man you're really- oh he's unconscious.'

'That's not good.' L'risia said.

'It's wonderful.' Zelgadis said cheerfully. Cleo drove an elbow into his stomach, which surprisingly worked, although she rubbed her elbow for a little while afterwards. 

'Amelia, is your magic working?' L'risia asked, casting a light spell. 'Mine is.'

Amelia noted the white glow in-between her hands.

'Yes.'

'Get to work on Xelloss, then,' Lina nodded, 'And L'ri's ankle could do with healing up too-'

'Uh, actually- Val already did that for me-' L'risia muttered. Lina grinned at her. 

'What was that? Didn't her you. Did you say that V-'

'SHUT up Inverse.' L'risia growled, her eyes flashing gold. 

'She gets mad when she's embarrassed.' Cleo told Lina, who was looking pretty nervous.

'Oh.'

There was a silence apart from muttering coming from Xelloss, in a deep fevered sleep. 

'What's he saying Filia?' Val asked, sitting down.  

'He keeps muttering "yes, my lady" over and over again.' Filia said, her voice distracted. She absently brushed the priest's hair out of his eyes. No one was suicidal enough to say anything, in fact, the atmosphere became rather miserable. The three priestesses were muttering in a shadowed corner. 

'Look. We've got to get outta this mess. I'm claustrophobic!'

'I know that. But Xelloss-'

They glanced at the priest. 'L-sama will kill us if he…you know.'

'Dies?'

'L'risia, you're always so- depressing.'

'Practical. He's got pneumonia. We need to keep him warm, and we've got our magic, and Amelia, Filia and if it comes to it, Val too. We need to get out of here. Caves usually work in systems so if we pick a direction we should be able to get out sooner or later.'

'Uh, L'ri, Lina, Gourry, Zel and Amelia are mortals.'

'Oh yeah- well we'd better pick the right direction then.'

'Argh.'

'I can feel a breeze coming from up there.' Val ventured, pointing left. 

'Is it warm or cool?'

'Warm.' Val said after a moments thought. The priestesses swapped glances. 

'Good, that's where we're going. Zel and Val, could you carry Xelloss? We're gonna see how far we can get.'

'Sure.' The two boys lifted up the mumbling priest. Lina hung onto Gourry.

'Okay lets see how far we can get.' Cleo said, striking a pose Amelia-style. 'Onward! For the sake of-'

'Not Having to Look After Xelloss Anymore Than Is Necessary!' 

'Everlasting Peace And Justice!'

'Not Being Killed Over a Period Of Many Long Year By L-sama!'

'Watching The End Of The Dragon Ball Z Marathon!'

There was a thoughtful silence.

'You know I'd completely forgotten about that, Dynast.'

'You _did_? How could you?'

'No idea. I feel like pizza.'

'With extra cheese.'

'And salami.'

'SHUT UP!'

'I. Am. Exhausted.' Lina announced, and promptly stopped flying, landing on the floor sleeping on impact. 

'Well, she's out. How's Xelloss?'

'Same.' Val said worriedly, setting the man down gently. L'risia sat down next to the priest and rested her head on the wall before touching his forehead.

'Still burning. How the hell did he get this sick? He's a Mazoku general-priest! He can't get sick!'

'Maybe L-sama finds it amusing.'  Filia said sourly, one of the few awake. In fact the only people who were awake were Cleo, Filia, Val, Zel and L'ri. The rest had fallen asleep. Cleo nodded to her friends and adjusted her cloak, falling asleep against the wall. Zel sat down as Val did as well, the young dragon putting his hands behind his head. Filia sat on the other side of Xelloss, L'ri and Val on the other side and Zel next to her. 

'So we're in deep shit, huh.'

'Oh yeah.'

'An apparently never-ending cave system.'

'Damn right.'

'With a possibly dying-'

'Don't say that!' Filia snapped, tears welling up in her blue eyes. Zel and Val looked at her in surprise. L'risia shut her own. 

'Filia- you're crying-'

'I'm just tired that's all! Just don't- don't say things like that!' Filia said furiously, voice shaking. 

'O-okay-' Zel stuttered, taken aback. L'risia stood up and crouched in front of Filia.

'L'ri, what are you-' Val started.

'Sleep.' 

L'risia  flicked her finger, sending Filia into a soft sleep. There was a pause, and Zelgadis nudged Filia enough for her to rest her head against Xelloss's shoulder. L'risia and Val glanced at the chimera.

'I- do see what other people feel you know. And- Filia- well, she's-'

'Oh no.' Val whispered. 

'She's all right for now, just when she realises we'll have to make sure she doesn't go suicidal. And he's charming enough.'

There was a pause from the males. 'You can't be serious.' Val said slowly. 

'I am. In a parallel world he's got a cult following. He's sexy, gorgeous, cute, handsome, cunning-' she counted off on her fingers as she quoted, 'oh, and you, Zelgadis, are the same, by the way- possibly with more devoted fans.'

'D-D-D-devoted fans?' Zel stammered. 'I-he-you-WHAT?!'

'Sleep.'

There was another pause as L'risia sat back down.

'Devoted fans?'

'Oh you've got them too, Val. Bloody handsome is one of the best phrases-'

'You're scaring me, L'ri.' He cut in.

'That's what I'm here for.'

'What's wrong with Mr Zelgadis?' Amelia asked Cleo, 'he's been acting even stranger than usual.'

Cleo looked at L'risia, who seemed to have taken over Xelloss's role of being annoyingly cheerful. She also noticed Val was looking at her in a manner which suggested she might explode or worse at any second. 

'I have my suspicions. L'ri _darling_-' 

'I'm sorry I didn't do it I'm not paying for it.'

'No, not that- could I have a word?'

Whispers. L'risia nodded and Cleo and Kai'ila blinked at her before bursting into hysterical laughter which echoed all along the caves. Lina turned around.

'All right you two what the hell is going on.'

'Absolutely nothing!' the three women told her cheerfully. Lina growled, a spell forming in between her hands.

'No Lina!' Zel barked, 'if you cast anything more than a light spell this cave might collapse on us!'

Lina muttered something obscene under her breath and let the fireball fade, then collared Kai'ila.

'I just want you to answer one, simple question.'

'Shoot!'

Lina's eyes bugged out as she caught sight of something behind the group.

'_WHAT THE HELL IS THAT_?'

Kai'ila looked over her shoulder.

'Oh,' she said, 'I know that one.'


	14. Return of the Bats

A/N- this chapter contains N'sync and Britney Spears bashing. Deal with it.

'Well?!?!' Lina demanded hysterically from her spot on the ceiling. 

'It's a giant slug.'

'No, really?' Zelgadis asked, looking at the thing that was about the size of a horse. 

'Really,' Kai'ila said, ignoring the sarcasm. 'We could ride it- it probably knows the-

'No flippin' way.' L'risia said firmly, her face pale. Val grinned at her. 

'Don't you like slugs L'ri?'

'I hate anything with no legs or anything with over four.' She informed the dragon with a flicked of her head.

'Picky, picky.'

'Oh shut _up_- Lina you can come down, you know.'

'I'm fine where I am, thankyou.' Lina's voice said from the roof of the cave. Gourry scratched his head. 

'You know Lina we're going to keep walking. If you want I can carry you.'

Lina dropped into his arms. 'Oh Gourry you're so brave.' She purred, kissing him. 

Zelgadis blushed as Filia and Val swapped glances.

'All right you two get a hotel room.' Cleo said with a smirk. 

'How romantic.' Amelia sight, little hearts swirling around her head. L'risia sweat-dropped and put her hands in her pockets.

'Whatever you reckon, princess.'

Val grinned at Zelgadis who was wearing his oh-my-god-how WEIRD expression at Amelia, except it had a slightly warm quality that the aqua-haired youth didn't miss.

'Better you than me, buddy.' He said, and chuckled, easily ducking the punch.

'THIS DOES IT!' Lina screamed as they rounded another corner into- another cave system. 'I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! This is where I get off!'

'This is getting a bit tedious. How long do you think we've been walking, Zel?'

'About three days.'

Kai'ila fell on the ground and glanced up as Xelloss coughed. Soon everyone was looking at the priest. He was shivering and sweating.

'This is not good. How can a Mazoku priest get sick?' mused L'risia quietly. 

'We'll worry about that later,' Cleo snapped, 'right now we're going to have to ignore the fact he isn't supposed to be able to get sick and find some way to fix him.'

'We could kill him and cast Resurrection.'

Everyone stared at Zelgadis.

'I'd expect that, coming from you.' Filia said nastily. L'risia swapped a troubled glance with her friends.

'Uh well Filia- the thing is- it- might just work.'

'You're going to kill him. Kill Xelloss.' Lina said in a dead tone. 

'No!' screamed Amelia. 'It is unjust!'

'We wouldn't actually kill him- just almost kill him. You'd have to cast the spell though Amelia.' Zelgadis reassured her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

'Lina?'

The redhead nodded silently and Kai'ila gently unlocked Filia's hands from where they held Xelloss's cloak and lead her aside. 

'Zelgadis-' she began. The chimera sighed.

'I'll do it. I never thought I'd be able to do this, namagomi.' 

Amelia screwed her eyes shut and buried her face in Zel's shoulder. Kai'ila stepped closer to Casper, who put an arm around her shoulders without appearing to think about it. Cleo's hands twisted around each other nervously. L'risia bit her lip so hard a drop of blood formed. Val looked anguished. Dynast looked rather pleased. 

Filia refused to believe she was crying and convinced herself the water on her cheeks was from drips on the ceiling. 

'Stop.' Gourry said in a hoarse voice. Zel glanced at him. 'You said a spell would cause the place to fall in on us.'

Zelgadis paused, and nodded. 

'Raywing,' Cleo muttered, setting up the bubble around the group like a force field. Zel nodded at her and seemed to think about what spell to use. Ra Tilt would kill the namagomi in this state, he was pretty sure. A Lesser Demon spell was in order.

'Elmekia Lance!' 

Everyone winced.

'Amelia, go on,' Zelgadis said, gently lifting the girl's head off his cowl. Light blue gaze met dark blue. L'risia looked away and met Val's gaze. He was grinning. Cleo had the feeling that they'd intruded on a private conversation, because a lot passed between Amelia and Zel without any words at all. 

'How strange.' She muttered. 

Amelia knelt by the priest and ignored the blood, calling up every single reserve she had. 

'Resurrection!'

She slumped to the ground.  Cleo let the Raywing go. Zelgadis knelt down by Amelia and gently turned her over, taking off his cloak and spreading it over her. 

'That is _soooo_ romantic.' Sighed Cleo and Kai'ila, with all of their usual tact. L'risia sweatdropped and hit her forehead as Zelgadis turned pink and jerked back from Amelia as if he'd been shocked. 

'Well done.' She muttered.

'Well it was!'

L'risia groaned again. 'Filia how's Xelloss?'

Filia was checking the purple-haired man. She looked relieved. 'He's all right. Now I can go back to hating him.'

Glances were exchanged all around. L'risia laughed. 

'I guess you can't help loving to hate the fruitcake, ay.' She said, rubbing the back of her head. Then added, 'with the possible exception of Zel.'

Xelloss opened his eyes, and that in itself was a calendar event. 

'You're back!' Amelia said, flinging herself on the priest in a tight hug that turned him quite green. 

'Amelia-'

'Oh yes, sorry.' She grinned, and smacked him across the face. 'Better?'

'Much.' He nodded, and narrowed his eyes. 'You've been hanging around your Zelgadis too much, princess.'

L'risia, nearby, choked of her coffee as Zelgadis overheard and spat his out.

'What?!'

'M-m-my-' Amelia stammered. Filia pushed her aside and punched Xelloss straight across his jaw with her bare hands.

'That's for making me actually care whether you live or die, namagomi!'

'Uh- right Fi-chan-' he said, clearly not understanding as he rubbed his jaw. 'Er- would someone please explain what-' he'd closed his eyes, but now he opened them again. 'CARE?!?!'

'Ah, realization dawns.' L'risia said to no one in particular, watching the little scene with the amused air of a non-gambler at the horse races. 

'You're such a-a-a-' Val waved his hands. 'I don't know.'

She grinned at him and raised an eyebrow at Zelgadis. Kai'ila walked up.

'Oh dear, you're still pink Zel.' She observed, putting her face close to his. 

'Leave me alone.'

'Whatever for?'

'Kai'ila,' L'risia said, 'that's Xelloss's job- and we don't need Zel-chan in a bad mood now.'

Kai'ila stared at the girl and shrugged. 'Okay.'

In the background an argument between Filia and Xelloss was going on. L'risia was suddenly dressed in a beret and blue and white striped shirt, red scarf and brown trousers, a dreamy look on her face.

'Ah, L'amor.' She sighed dreamily, and burst into giggles. Kai'ila, Casper and Cleo blinked at looked at the coffee jug. 

'How much of that has she had?'

L'risia had gotten control of herself and Filia and Xelloss had been convinced not to kill each other for the meantime, Zel had gone back to his nice normal shade of blue (he almost killed himself laughing when Cleo said that. Scary sight.) Amelia was being as cheerful as Kai'ila if not worse and so consequently Casper and Dynast were in bad moods. Gourry, of course, was off on his own little cloud somewhere. 

So it was a complete mystery how they even realised they were under attack in the first place. 

But they did.

'I HATE BATS!'

'That's nice. Ow the little $&$%!$% bit me!'

'Remember Lina, no spells!'

'I have an idea.' Xelloss said. Dead silence. Even the bats stopped twittering. Then Kai'ila said,

'Oh no not one of your _ideas_, Xelloss.'

The bats left like water out of a dam, screaming out of the cave and down the corridors. Everyone glanced at Xelloss.

'Well,' said L'ri, 'that worked. Was that your actual plan or sheer dumb luck?'

'Sore wa himitsu desu!'

Everyone face-faulted.  Amelia healed the tiny cuts all over her body. 

'I reckon it was dumb luck.' Zelgadis said.

'OF course it was. Lady Luck doesn't follow Mazoku.'

The three priestesses swapped glances and smiled nervously. Lina noticed.

'What- oh no don't tell me- wait she DOESN'T EXIST.'

'Yeah. And Xelloss is Barney.' 

'You mean she-Lady Luck-erm- oh please this conversation is getting way to weird.'

They started walking again, Xelloss falling back to walk with the Cleo, L'risia and Val.

'So when did you last see the Lady?' he smirked. Val's jaw fell open. 

'Um- few months ago. She was pretty fed up with the state of things, to tell the truth. She said she was going to the Bahamas with N'sync and watch them get swamped by fan girls for amusement.'

'I _hate_ that band.' Xelloss snarled, and sarcastically performed a few over-the-top dance moves. L'risia snickered. 

'How about Britney Spears.'

They all groaned. 

'Excuse me.' Val said timidly. 'But-'

'Oh yeah. Um-' L'risia reached into the pocket dimension in her skirt pocket. Her fingers found the mini-TV and turned it on. Soon the sounds of "Oops…" emanated from the screen. Val clapped his hands over his ears in pain. 

'Stop!' he wailed. L'risia tossed the TV to Kai'ila, who changed it to N'sync. Val turned white.

'Horrible, isn't it.' Xelloss said pleasantly. Val nodded wordlessly as L'risia tucked the TV away.

'And now you know who Britney Spears is.' Kai'ila grinned. 'Regretting you asked?'

'Oh yeah.'

'By the way.' L'risia interrupted, looking over her shoulder.

'Eh?'

'The Bats Are Back.'

Everyone turned around facing the wall of fanged black leathery-winged animals who were back with a vengeance.

And a radio.


	15. Betrayal of Truce

A/N- thanks for the reviews guys! I luv my reviews ^_^ I'm trying to figure out how to end this soon, so stay tuned for more details! 

I hope evry1 had a merry Xmas and will have a happy new year!

Disclaimer- this isn't for the series since everyone knows who that belongs to, someone else not me, but for a quote I put in that was in a terry pratchett book. The guys got an amazing way with words and the 'not snow, which is dead white…' quote was written by him, not me. 

*****************************

'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE!!'

'Believe me, Zel, you don't want to know.'

'HURRY UP!'

'I AM!'

'NOT FAST ENOUGH! ARGH THEY'VE GOT ME! I'M MEEEELTINGGGG-'

'….Xelloss? That's the Wizard of Oz, and it's water that does that. _Not_ bats.'

'Oh.'

'STOP YAKKING AND MOOOVE!'

'MOOOOVE?'

'MOOO-ve…hehehehe…'

'Oh shut up. What the hell was in that coffee?'

'How many times do I have to say this…..RUN YOU IDIOTS!'

Running feet, screams, twittering. Pop music blaring through the star-filled, rain-drop touched caves…._screech_.

'Oh crap.'

'Miss Lina?'

'What NOW?! Why've we stopped?'

'It's a dead end.' Everyone told her collectively staring that the blank wall. The black curtain of bats came screaming around the corner. Kai'ila and Casper, Cleo, Dynast fell to the floor with their hands covering their ears. Amelia stuffed her fingers in her ears while Lina kept on screaming for someone to do something. Xelloss had got pink fluffy earmuff on and was eating popcorn. Whether this was to block out the bats or Filia screaming at him is yet to be determined.

'SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!' yelled Lina. Zelgadis nodded and stepped in front of the group, held out his hands-

'Fireball.'

There was dead silence as the bats fried. Eventually a warped piece of plastic fell to the floor, and the only light they had faded. Xelloss took off his pink fluffy earmuffs. Filia stopped screeching. Amelia and everyone else took their hands of their ears at stared at the chimera, who was calmly brushing off his tunic. Val slapped his forehead.

'Oh for crying-' L'risia began, then trailed off, blinking at Zel. She groaned.

'I'm an idiot.'

'We're ALL idiots.' Kai'ila said, letting Casper help her up. Dynast gave his priest a very strange look. 

'Zel-' began Lina. Zelgadis whirled around and stuck a hand up in the air, john-travolta style. 

'Yes! I am BRILLIANT! I, the one and only Zelgadis Greywords triumph again in the name of justice and money!'

Somehow he had managed to remember Lina's exact speech from her most recent treasure obtainment, and the result was…L'risia put a hand over her mouth to try and stop from laughing outright, while her friends weren't so subtle, laughing on contact with the ground along with Xelloss. Casper wasn't much better. The others were trying to restrain Lina from killing the chimera. 

'T-t-_that_ was good.' Gasped Cleo. Zel bowed.

'Thankyou, thankyou.'

'Fireball!'

Zel blinked and stepped out of the smouldering ground and smiled wryly at Lina, who was glowering famously.  He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. Meanwhile, the priestesses had stopped laughing and had their ears up against the wall. 

'Uh- Miss Kai'ila, what are you-'

'Ssh!'

'Um-'

'SHUT UP!'

'Sorry…'

There was more dead silence. After a while Lina pressed her ear up against the wall. Her eyes widened.

'Birds!' she whispered. The rest of the group hit the wall with their ears against it like nails to a magnet. 

'Everyone stand BACK.' Lina ordered. They did, in most cases finding something relatively solid to hide behind, being familiar with Lina's techniques of removing obstacles. Cleo turned to Xelloss.

'By the way, where did you get those pink earmuffs?'

'Hm? Oh a little shop up on the mountains.'

'VIBRATION BLAST!'

'Ooh shit-'

Everyone ducked flying bits of rubble. Shields bloomed up like watching mushrooms grow in fast-forward. When the noise died away, Lina dived into the green field, under a corn-flower blue sky and rolled through the daisies.

'FRESH AIR! Breeze! Flowers! Grass! No annoying computer-thing geniuses!'

'No bats.'

'That as well.' 

A few hours later….

'Soooo.'

'Yes.'

'Well.'

'Um.'

'What do we do now?'

'I have no bloody idea. Do you think we can teleport now? Only I've missed- oh, about a days worth of the DBZ marathon.'

'A DAY?! Just how long does it go on for?!'

'About five.'

'What?!'

'Well it's a slow series…. L'ri, what are you doing?'

'I'm making a daisy chain,' said priestess said calmly from where she was hovering about a metre off the ground. 

'Do you have a phobia about having you butt on the ground or something?' Zelgadis asked, bothering to open an eye to stare at her. She grinned.

'Could have. I like floating.'

'You know what the stupid thing is, Zel?' Cleo said as L'risia tossed the chain on Amelia's head and shouted out, "SCORE!" Xelloss began making a daisy chain.

'What?'

'She's afraid of heights.'

Lina had been watching this show and at the same time griping endlessly about having spent days in the STUPID caves with the STUPID bats and not finding ANY STUPID treasure. Suddenly she stopped. Startled by the absence of noise, everyone looked at her. She jerked, blood trickling gout of the corner of her mouth. Gourry's eye travelled to the long white and bloody horn protruding from her stomach.

'LINA!'

'Oh my God-'

'Lina-san!'

The horn withdrew, and a shimmering white head rose from above Lina's crippled form. Cleo drew in a sharp breath.

'It's a _unicorn_-'

It was magnificent, a full-grown stallion with a white coat. Not white as snow, which is dead white, but white as milk, which is alive. Shimmering colours rippled across the surface and reflecting the colours of light like so many distant stars thrown on the surface. Lina's blood stained the foot-long, spiral horn on its forehead, and trickled down to stain the face of the unicorn. Its eyes were red. 

'Why're its eyes red?' Kai'ila managed. L'risia spun around and looked piercingly at Dynast. He was laughing. Laughing and laughing as if the funniest thing in the world was the redhead getting run through. His eyes held a dull red glow.

'You-you- _bastard_!' she screamed, and flung out a hand. The dark Lord smashed into a tree.

'Uh- L'ri-'

'It's _him_! He's in its mind!'

Dynast brushed himself off and waggled a finger at the furious priestess, and Zelgadis who was reaching for his sword. Xelloss's eyes opened and narrowed. 

'Now now. Play fair.' He smiled, and snarled at Casper. 'You- you are rebelling, I can sense it- if that's the way you want it.'

Casper's eyes widened and then he groaned, falling to the ground hands on his head.

'What's he doing?' Amelia asked, her face pale as Ka9i'ila knelt beside the buckled form. 

'Breaking all bonds. Casper will be lucky to survive.'

'I should have killed him YEARS ago.' Raged L'risia, kicking a tree so hard it fell down. 

'L'risia, calm down.' Cleo soothed, 'we have to sort out the unicorn, Gourry's trying to kill it.'

Zel and Filia were barely restraining Gourry, who was trying to kill the maddened unicorn.

'How do we STOP it- oh NO it's fucking charging-' Kai'ila groaned. 'ZEL A SHEILD DO IT NOW!'

The chimera threw up a shield, and the unicorn hit it. L'risia scrambled over, rolling up the sleeve on her shirt. 

'Hold Gourry.' She snapped, nerves wound up so tight you could have played a tune on them. Filia blinked as the girl thrust out a hand palm first, snapping Gourry's head back. He slumped, unconscious. 

'O-kaaay.' Zelgadis said. 

'How do you stop a – yike! Unicorn?' Filia yelped, jumping out of the way.

'Really Filia.' Xelloss grinned down at her. She'd jumped into his arms. Filia blinked and blushed.

'EEEk!'

'That was your own fault.' Said Cleo distractedly. 

'We need a cage and something to hold the stupid thing with….' L'risia muttered.

'Huh?' Amelia asked. 

'Amelia look after Lina and see what you can do, that stomach wound won't have killed her instantly. Casper cannot be helped much- try a sleep spell or something.' Snapped L'risia. Her friends looked at her in some surprise.

'She really doesn't like Dynast does she?' Val observed from where he was hovering in the air. 

'No.'

'Why?'

'L'risia has this weird habit of hating people just _because_.' 

'Who's got the longest hair? Filia.' L'risia was thinking aloud. 'Val get down here!'

'Ooh-' Cleo said, getting the plan as L'risia directed the group to stand around the unicorn, deflecting its strikes with shields. 

'Why don't we just kill it?' Xelloss asked, grabbing the horn and throwing the unicorn backwards. It screamed, hoofs failing at the air in a mad rage. 

'You don't kill unicorns.' Snapped the priestesses at once. 

'Well what do we do?!' Zelgadis asked, and glanced around at Amelia, still knelt over Lina's body. 

'Very simple. Filia, you're a virgin right?' Kai'ila asked. Filia went red.

'W-what? Yes, of course!' she stammered.

L'risia quietly told her what to do, as Cleo and Kai'ila instructed Val, Xelloss, and Zel on creating a cage from their shields. 

'All right.' Cleo said grimly, deflecting a strike from the unicorn.

'Lets do this.'


	16. Beginning of the End

Filia broke off a strand of her long blond hair at the roots and stepped into the circle, jaw set. She would do this for Miss Lina. So many people owed Lina their lives today, and didn't know it. It almost made up for the bandit's she'd killed. 

Around the blonde woman, L'risia bit her lip so hard it drew blood.

'Okay.'

The magic-users drew in the blue-sheened shields in to form slender bars, shaping it like putty in their hands, lengthening and thinning the magic. Then in lightening movements, they shot out from their owner's hands, growing rigid and framing the unicorn. Light flared, causing them to shield their eyes. When they opened them, the red-eyes unicorn screamed in rage. Zelgadis could see Dynast, with his eyes narrowed and mirth gone staring out from them, he could see the internal anguish of the unicorn, and felt a rush of sympathy for the creature.  The magical blue-white cage was a tightly barred box around the unicorn. Xelloss watched, mesmerised, as Filia's hands shaped the strand of hair in a loop, sunlight glistening off the hair and causing occasional flashes of gold. She threw the noose around the unicorn's neck, and pulled. The noose tightened.

'Now what?' Val asked L'risia.

'Now we get that bastard where it hurts most.' She snarled, stepping next to the unicorn's head. 'Filia?'

The woman nodded, and stroked the creature, soothing the unicorn itself. It calmed slightly. The internal fight between it's own will and the dark lords was almost visible. The red light in its eyes throbbed.

'Wha-' Zelgadis began, and fell silent as the three priestesses grimly pressed their hands on the unicorn's skull, joining in the mental power struggle.

'He can't escape now.' Xelloss said with a certain amount of satisfaction.

'What's going on?' Val asked, looked wretched. Xelloss cast him a sidelong glance and shrugged.

'All right, I'll tell you.'

Zelgadis took some time to recover from this surprise. But then, he reasoned later, it wasn't his secret to keep. 

'A unicorn can only be tamed by a virgin,' Xelloss said, not taking his eyes off the quiet war going on not a metre and a half away from him. 'And the one with the longest hair is Filia. The priestesses helped you two to create a cage of mixed powers- their light and dark, my dark, Val's dragon magic, your shamanistic power woven into on cage, one prison. In that barrier some of it leaks into the mind of the unicorn, trapping Dynast and stopping the unicorn from running any of us through. Filia's hair strand is enough to hold it, for reasons I can't be bothered to explain but I'm sure you can figure it out. Filia can calm the unicorn itself. In short, Lord Dynast, who is now trapped in its mind, possesses it. All he can do now is fight, and then he will be weakened- there are three priestesses of Chaos and a unicorn fighting him with all the mental force they have.'

'What will happen to him when he loses?' Zelgadis asked, teeth clenched.

'Dynast will be disabled. I know why L'risia hates him, and why the others do- they just don't show it so much. They mean to destroy him while they have the chance.'

'Why do they hate him?'

'That is a secret.'

Val rolled his amber eyes to the sky and muttered something under his breath. Xelloss giggled. 

Behind the explanations and struggles, Amelia was keeping half an ear open as she worked up the strength to perform the spell on Lina. Putting Casper to rest had been harder than she had thought. She gritted her teeth and held out her hands, sweat trickling down her face. This would nearly kill her. She hoped Filia would not be hurt. 

'Resurrection!'

'Amelia!'

'Princess?'

'Oh my. Casper's bond-breaking must have taken it out of her.'

Zel sighed. 'She's way overdone it- still- Lina's breathing.' 

Val glanced at Xelloss pointedly. 'Well?'

'Well what?'

'Your cloak, Mr Metallium.'

'Eh? Hey!'

Val snatched the cloak off the priest and gently covered Lina's body with it. Zel was doing the same with Amelia. Casper was shuddering, sweat soaking his clothes. Xelloss wrinkled his nose.

'He's going to need a bath.'

'Oh _shut_ _up_.' 

'Four unconscious.' Zelgadis muttered, shaking his head. His hand was absently stroking Amelia's raven hair. Val opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. He sat down on the grass with the other two, and watched the silent battle ahead.

The unicorn fell to its knees, heaving gasps of cool air. The cage collapsed. Filia stroked it, soothing,  L'risia took her hand away from it's cheek and turned around, throwing a weary smile in the boys direction. Cleo did the victory sign.

'He's dead?'

'I hope so.'

Kai'ila sat down heavily, wiping her forehead. L'risia did the same. 

'I really want a good sleep-' she murmured softly, eyes fluttering shut. Suddenly she yelped, eyes open and sat bolt upright. Her round-eyed expression would have been funny if the other two hadn't been mirroring it. Xelloss held his head, looking annoyed.

'Oh crap.' 

'He's baa-aaack.'

'Not for long.' L'risia snarled, and disappeared. 'See you around gang.'

'Say hi to Lina for us.' Cleo grinned, and disappeared. Kai'ila threw a green glance at Casper and nodded with a smile to her friends, disappearing. Filia nodded and ran her fingers through the wonderful coat of the now sleeping unicorn. Val tore off a strip up his shirt and wandered over, wiping off all the blood that stained it.

'Something like this shouldn't be stained with the blood of another.' He said. 

'It murdered Lina.' Gourry said, sitting up, his eyes fixed on it.

'No it didn't.' Val said sharply. 'Animals can't murder. It's one of the things that make us different from them.'

'But-'

'It was possessed, Gourry. Dynast tried to murder Lina. The unicorn was a tool, a pawn in his little game.'

'Tried?' Gourry looked down at Lina, and noted her soft breathing. Those that remained looked away. Some things were too intense and personal to look upon. 

_L-sama shook her head._

_'That idiot.'_

_Dolphin looked over her shoulder, the alcohol on her breath making the flowers on the TV wilt. _

_'Well?' she hiccuped. 'What do we do now? Smash Dynast into itty bitty pieces? Whee! Jellyfish!' _

_'No, the priestesses have a score to settle. However that unbalances the- balance.'_

_Zelas rolled her eyes._

_'That was a good quote if I ever heard one.'_

_'Oh be quiet, Beastmaster. Hm…' he gaze fell on a figure, seated in the grass with eyes shut, a look of infuriatingly peaceful happiness on his face. She smiled. _

Xelloss stood up, picking up his staff.

'Where are you going?' Zelgadis asked suspiciously. 

'The battle is over.' Xelloss said. 'Dynast no longer exists. Lina will be quite angry to find she missed out on the battle, but there you are. I will take you home.'

'I don't have a-'

'Home.' Zelgadis finished, hitting the floor of the Sailloon palace. Filia leaned on the unicorn's neck.

'So what do we do with this?'

'Let if free.' Xelloss said. 'Unicorns were not to be slaves to anyone.'

'L-sama?' Filia asked mischievously. Xelloss tilted his head and said softly,

'_Anyone_.' He repeated. Filia released the unicorn. It nuzzled her once, nodded to the others, and disappeared, a star on the horizon in a minute. Zelgadis picked up Amelia.

'C'mon Gourry.' He said, starting to climb the stairs. 'Guest bedrooms are this way.'

'Of course you'd know all about that, wouldn't you.' Val and Xelloss chanted. Filia giggled as a fireball rocketed down towards them.

'Temper.' Xelloss grinned. Val looked relieved.

'I'm glad you're acting like a fruitcake again.'

'Eh?'

'Well you were answering questions and not grinning. You were being quite scary.'

'Oh. Good!'

'Moron.'

A few days later….

'I still can't believe I missed out on all that excitement!' Lina groaned.

'Yes, you've said nothing else for the last few days.' Casper nodded. Xelloss grinned.

'What does it feel like to be human, Casper?'

'Strange.' Casper nodded, 'but I got used to the half-emotions I had before…it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Um-'

Amelia raised an eyebrow over her magazine.

'What's up?'

'You haven't heard from the girls, have you?'

'Girls?' Lina repeated. 'Oh, the priestesses? No.' she looked saddened, then brightened up. 'But I'm sure they're fine. Hey Val when did you learn to swim!'

'Sano threw me in the river.' Val explained, climbing out of the pool. 'I didn't have much of a choice!'

'Sano-?'

'Oh a guy with hair like mine.' He grinned. 

'What, like a deranged mop?'

'Y- HEY HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!'

'About half an hour.' L'risia said from where she'd reclined in a tree. She had a bandage on her arm and a cut on her cheek. 'How d'you feel Lina?'

'Great! Where are the other two?'

L'risia indicated the balcony above their heads. Kai'ila and Cleo waved.

'Hello!'

'Well, they're alive.' Zelgadis said dryly. L'ri rolled her eyes and got down from the tree branch. 'What happened with Dynast? Xelloss wasn't a lot of help.'

'I'll bet.'

Cleo settled down in a chair.

'Well it basically started off with a slanging match and then it was magic spells all the way- we got a bit knocked up, but you should see Dynast.'

'If you could.' L'risia added. 

'You vaporised him?!' yelled Amelia.

'Yep.'

'Geez-' Lina groaned. 'I can't believe-'

'I missed out on that!' chanted everyone else. She glared at them. 

'Hmph.'

_'Well, Lina, perhaps one day you will have another chance.' _

'Gek-' L'risia squeaked. She, Cleo, Kai'ila and Xelloss hastily dropped to one knee. The beautiful blonde woman smiled faintly and walked towards them. The landscape behind her could be seen through her body. Slowly, Amelia and Lina knelt, followed by Val, and Filia dragged Gourry down, explaining things rapidly under her breath since Lina was too spellbound to do so. Casper slowly got down on one knee.

'L-sama.' Murmured Kai'ila. The woman smiled.

'_Now, girls. Thankyou for taking Dynast off my hands- except you may realise the problem this has caused, yes?_'

'Uh-'

'Imbalance in the dark forces, my Lady.' Xelloss said. L-sama nodded. 

_'As such I wish to- allocate a new Lord.'_

Lina groaned. 

'Well, its not as if Dynast did much anyway.' Cleo shrugged. 'Sat around watching TV, mostly-' suddenly she paled as the mental list of candidates stopped at a likely name. 'Oh noooooo-'

'Ah-' Kai'ila looked at her friend, noted her expression, and also paled, colour completely draining from her face. L'risia had frozen. Xelloss looked at them.

'What's wrong with you three?'

'She-' L'risia choked on the words as Lina clapped a hand over her mouth.

'Shut up!'

'Xelloss?' another female voice said. He turned around, and bowed. 

'Master.'

The mauve-haired lady tapped her ash into the pool and indicated her servant.

'Now dear,' she said, 'L-sama has discussed this with me at great length, and though I do not entirely approve, you have served me loyally and I will not object if you choose to accept the position of a Dark Lord.'

Xelloss's eyes opened in shock.

'Master?!'

'L-sama wants you to be the new Dark Lord, in Dynast's place.' Cleo translated for him. Everyone blinked and glanced at Xelloss, to L-sama, to the Beastmaster. All eyes were on Xelloss. 

'Um-'

'Why is he hesitating?' Gourry muttered. 'I thought Mazoku liked power!'

'If I didn't know better I'd say humanity has rubbed off on him….' Val murmured to no one in particular.

'DON'T YOU DARE XELLOSS!' Filia yelled, hurling her mace. It knocked him into the pool.

'Filia?' Xelloss sputtered, squirting water out of his mouth like a fountain. She put her face very close to his and growled,

'You've just started to act like a normal person, namagomi, and if you DARE accept this new "job" I'll-'

'What?' he grinned. She thought and a malicious grin spread across her face.

'I'll _kiss_ you.' 

Xelloss stared at her. Lina and Zelgadis fell over. Val began to grin. Casper looked sympathetic. 

'Ooh.' Zelas said, looking interested. 'I don't suppose you've got any decent drinks, princess?'

'Huh? Oh, yes Beastmaster- just inside that door.'

Zelas wandered off. Xelloss licked his dry lips.

'You wouldn't.' he said hoarsely. 'Besides, Filia, you'd have to mean it.'

'Watch me.' She snarled. L'risia produced a bag of popcorn and passed it around. 

'How can she make herself mean something?' Gourry asked Lina, and the world in general. She sighed and relaxed against him.

'Dunno.'

L-sama looked rather intrigued and sat down on the air with her cocktail. 

_'Well, Xelloss?' _

'Why do you care?' Xelloss asked Filia. She opened her mouth to say something and then scratched her head.

'I'm not exactly sure,' she admitted, 'but then- if you were a dark lord- you'd get worse and then I'd have more reason to hate you and, and- I just- sort of-'

'Stopped hating you.' Finished Cleo. 'Wow, Filia.'

'Yeah.' 

'Eh?!'

'We've seen you as helpless as a baby.' Val said, 'A human baby, Xelloss, it's hard to hate someone who yells for his teddy-bear.'

Xelloss looked embarrassed.

'I think he's blushing.' Kai'ila gaped. 'He looks kinda cute.'

'_You have a teddy bear?_' L-sama laughed. Xelloss rubbed the back of his head. Lina grinned.

'I'll tell you what, if you accept this, Xelloss, I'll tell everyone I see that the new dark lord sleeps with a teddy bear and THEN if you turn up again, I'll have time to get REALLY pissed off and I'll Ragna blade you.'

'L-l-Lina?'

'Right. Me too.' Zelgadis agreed.

'But you can't do that spell!'

'I'll learn.' Zel snarled. Xelloss looked miserable as the priestesses and Val added in that, and Amelia launched into a Do What Is Right And Good For The World Speech. Xelloss turned to L-sama and let Gourry pull him out of the pool.

'I am sorry, L-sama, but it would appear there is a better future for me being the slimy fruitcake I am now.' He said, and grinned, his face resuming his normal cheerful position. Several people looked relieved.

'Whew.' L'risia breathed out. L-sama nodded.

'I understand. I'll just make a new one then. Good luck, Lina-tachi. Oh, and girls?'

'Yes, L-sama?' the priestesses asked as they stood up. 

'You're on a holiday. Say a millennia or two. Same for you, Xelloss.'

All of them looked wretched.

'But what are we supposed to doooo?!' they wailed. Val snickered. L-sama shrugged.

'Find something.' She ordered, and vanished. Xelloss slumped and looked at Zelas.

'Master?'

'Don't look at me, it's your holiday. Oh damn that means I have a holiday too- well I'm off to the Bahamas. See you around Xelly-poo.' And with a twinkle of her fingers, she vanished. In the embarrassed silence that followed, eyes slid to the on-vacation Mazoku twiddling his thumbs and looking at his feet.

_'Xelly-poo?!'_

A/N- I'm going to write an epilogue people, and then I think the story is finished. I kinda lost the pairings idea didn't I? Oh well, there are lots of those out there any way ^_^ but still, I can have a lot of fun with epilogues…hehe!

Waaah- one month left of summer holz….boohoo!

Sniff. Anyway.

Ja ne

Star-chan


	17. The End

A/N- well here it is, the epilogue of my weird story with a pretty much non-existent storyline….that's how all my stories turn out, twixt the madness.

Oh well. C'est la vie. 

(by the way, if you want Zel to stay a chimera, you probably shouldn't read this.)

A few years later….

'Look Zelgadis I really don't CARE whether you're looking for your damn cure or not!'

'A-Amelia?'

The princess in question stomped the ground with her foot, holding her horse by its reins in the road where she had accosted the young man.

'You heard me! I haven't seen you in ages! Come on, Gourry and Lina are at the palace too, and for some reason Val and Xelloss dropped in together.'

'Eh?'

'Val said he was working peacefully in his mother's sho when all of a sudden, he heard Filia scream, "namagomi!', and Xelloss appear right in front of him. Of course Val grabbed him to find out what he was doing and Xelloss teleported- taking Val with him.'

'Oh.' Zelgadis said with a smile. Amelia watched him. He remained unchanged, through the years, unlike the rest of them. At least, his physical appearance didn't alter- but she noticed he was smiling more, easier to make laugh than when she had first met him…almost ten years ago, now…

'We're not getting any younger.' She murmured. He raised an eyebrow (insofar he had one)

'What was that, princess?'

'I SAID come with me! You're in my kingdom, you know.'

Zelgadis looked at the ground under his feet and back at Amelia. His mouth twitched.

'Right. Yes, your majesty.'

'Zelgadis!' Lina screamed, and flung herself on the chimera.

'Eech- nice to see you too, Lina.' Zel managed. 'Hi, Gourry. How's married life treating you?' his blue gaze fell on the small child, about three years old.

'Oh my god.'

'That's exactly what I said.' Val said from where he had sat on the stairs. Like his mother and Xelloss, Val remained a late-teenager, his golden eyes and gravity-defying aqua hair remained unchanged. The child toddled up to Zelgadis and tapped his hand, then put it in her mouth.

'Ow! You're HARD!'

'That's right. Uh, Lina-'

'Her name is Rina Gabriev.' Lina grinned. 'Rina, this is Zelgadis Greywords, I told you about him.'

'That's right!' the tiny child smiled widely, her blue eyes regarding him. She didn't have the quick extreme moods or her mother, Zelgadis noted, and heaved a sigh of relief. 'Mummy and Daddy told me about you. You're not half as scary as I thought you'd be.'

'Oh.' Zelgadis said, taken aback. He began to smile. 'Thankyou, Rina. Do you know any spells yet?'

'Mummy taught me a fireball!' she said proudly. 

'Really?' Xelloss's eyebrows shot up. 'Good grief. ANOTHER walking inferno.'

'What was that Xelloss?' Lina growled, cracking her knuckles. Zelgadis and Gourry snickered. 

'So, Val, how's Filia?' 

'She's all right, Fuming I daresay at the moment though-'

'I'll go see, shall I?' Xelloss said brightly, disappearing from view. Val sighed.

'He's been popping in a lot lately.' The dragon told the group as Zelgadis leaned on the wall by Amelia. 'He has WAY too much free time.'

'Oh, popping in has he?' Amelia said, looking very Lina-like. Zelgadis reflecting Lina had settled down in Sailoon. This meant more time with Lina for Amelia. Oh dear.

'He hasn't visited _me_ in three years!' 

Val lifted an eyebrow. 

'I like Mr Xelloss,' Rina said hanging onto her father's hand, 'he's funny!'

'Funny in the head, you mean.' Zelgadis muttered. This drew some laughter from the group. They all felt light-headed, being together again, and not off on some dare-devil quest to save the world. Xelloss re-appeared.

'Where's Filia?'

'Strange thing,' Xelloss said, scratching his head, 'she wasn't there.'

'Xelloss-' growled Lina. Val's muscles tensed.

'What have you-'

'I didn't do anything, I swear!' Xelloss pleaded. 'She wasn't there! I-'

'HELLO EVERYONE!'

Cleo and Kai'ila flung open the doors to the palace. L'risia had her eyes covered in embarrassment. Filia was walking alongside her and Casper, and leading, on a piece of golden thread-

'Oh my-' Xelloss murmured. 'The unicorn. It has returned to Fi-chan.'

Val looked sidelong at the man. He'd been talking to himself-

'Xelloss, you realise you're calling Filia Fi-chan even when you're talking to yourself, don't you?' Lina piped up. Xelloss looked at her, rising from his thoughts.

'Huh?'

'You're calling her Fi-chan.' Lina persisted. 'I bet if you ever slept you'd call her that in your SLEEP.'

'Don't be silly.' He snorted, and ducked the mace that was thrown at his head. 'Watch it, Fi-chan you could hurt someone!'

'That was the idea YOU FRUITCAKE!!'

'I think that's the most polite thing she's ever called him.' L'risia said to the room in general. 'So, how is everyone?'

Zelgadis noted something.

'Did everyone but Val and me know that Lina and Gourry had a child?' he asked. Lina scowled at him.

'Yes! You were, of course, off wandering, weren't you! You never consider us! It's always YOU, YOU YOU YOU INCONSIDERATE LOWLIFE!'

The flames died down. Rina came out from behins the vase.

'I think she missed you.' Kai'ila told Zelgadis. 

'Sory Lina.' Zelgadis muttered. Lina walked- no, strode, in a circle around him, waving her arms.

'But you aren't are you?! It's always been for your cure! Sure, yous top and help us along the way, but it's ALWAYS for the goddamn cure! When will you get it through you thick skull that WE, of all people, couldn't care less if your skin was normal, stone, or HOT PINK! Which you go quite often when you're embarrassed! You never stop to consider out feelings, every time you go dancing off into the sunset!'

Xelloss, Kai'ila and Casper began to giggled at the mental image. Everyone else had their mouths on the floor as Lina continued to rant.

'We never know where you are, if you're even still alive you numbskull! You never even WRITE! I mean I even got a letter from Cleo and the others last year! Xelloss drops by to annoy me occasionally but you- you just LEAVE! We're ALWAYS seeing the back of you!'

Gourry placed a hand on her shoulder and the woman drew in deep breaths, eyes raging. Zelgadis stared around the hall. Amelia was looking at him steadily, agreeing with Lina. Filia remained serene. L'risia inclined her head, very slowly. Val shrugged. Xelloss had his tounge in his cheek, shrugged and nodded.

'I-' Zelgadis began, and found he had no words to say. He felt very alone-

'You're NOT!' Cleo shouted, slamming a fist onto the table. He jumped.

'You read my mind!'

'I only do it when I have to! Zelgadis this is what Lina's been trying to tell you! You're not alone. If you were, she wouldn't have yelled at you!'

Zelgadis watched his friends again. Lina subsided.

'I- I'm sorry, Zel, but-' he placed a hand on her mouth.

'I'm truly sorry but my cure-'

L'risia slapped her forehead. 

'It's fixed in your mind, isn't it.' Amelia said sourly. He shuddered, and passed a hand across his eyes, aware it had become an obsession. 

'We can actually help.' L'risia said quietly from her corner, stepping into the light. 'Zel- well- we can see into the souls of people- and I know yours is torn apart.' Kai'ila tapped his chest. 'I can't see that so- the other received payment for their deeds a long time ago, but you waned to be left alone, so Filia has agreed to help.'

'Help?'

Filia stepped forward with the unicorn. 'You want to me human, Zelgadis?'

He nodded, dumbly.

'Your powers may diminish a bit.' Cleo warned him. 'You will need to practice hard to regain them.'

Zelgadis nodded, mouth dry. They were offering to turn him back- 

'And no more jumping in the way of cannon balls either.'

'Or letting yourself get hit in a swordfight.'

'Standing in the middle of Lina's fireballs.'

'You'll have to learn how to swim, too.'

'And by a hairbrush, although I have a feeling your hair is just one of those kinds that just bounce back like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards.'

'OKAY!' Zelgadis laughed, hands on his ears. 'I know! Just do it!'

Cleo shrugged at the others, and it seemed to Zel that the girls in the room all looked at Amelia, for a fraction of a second. The girl was tense, half off her seat in apprehension.

'Hands on the unicorn.' Cleo ordered. Zelgadis put trembling hands on the unicorn, and gasped as the world went blazing white before his eyes.

'What-' Val began as Zel's eyes snapped wide open and stared into something out of this world. Xelloss held him back as L'risia held out her hands, forming a blade of pure white light, the same white of shifting colours that glowed from underneath the unicorn's skin. She opened her eyes, now pure orbs of the same. 

'L'risia?'

Her friends held Zelgadis's hands firmly on the unicorn. He was yelling in pain as white flames licked at his body. L'risia leapt up, hanging in the air and the sword over one shoulder. Then she dropped like a leopard, bringing the blade down and through in a flashing arc of light that blinded all present.

Casper took his arm away from his eyes, and pulled Rina to her feet, silently passing the scared child to her mother, who rested her on her hip lovingly. Val rubbed his eyes and blinked. L'risia drew herself up, panting. The white light had faded. Filia stepped back, taking the unicorn, and the three priestesses knelt by the ivory-clad figure in the centre of the room.

'Well?' whispered someone.

Kai'ila rolled the boy over, revealing violet-blue hair, soft but still feral, and cream-white skin that, for a moment, throbbed with white, shifting colours, and was then gone…

Amelia dived forward. L'risia stood and stepped away, letting her through. Amelia's fingers stroked the smooth, soft skin on his cheek.

'He's bloody gorgeous.' Kai'ila stated, folding her arms.

'Humph.' Casper snorted.

'Oh not as cute as you dear.'

'I'm going to be sick.' Xelloss, Cleo and L'risia said at the same time. 

'Gourry and Val, could you take Zelgadis to a guest room?' Amelia asked, voice trembling.

'So, what did you think of him?' Cleo asked. Amelia took a deep breath.

'He's just as handsome now as he was before.'

Dead silence. Then L'risia wolf-whistled.

'Amelia! You _have_ changed!' 

'Can we do the whole gossip thing INSIDE the hot springs?' Lina grumbled, jerking a thumb at the male members of the party behind them. Zelgadis was talking animatedly with Gourry, a smile on his face.

'I've never see him this happy.' Lina murmured. 'I'm glad.'

'I'll say. Maybe we can get him to come to some night clubs!' Cleo grinned as they entered the change rooms. 

'I think we wouldn't be able to stop the man.' L'risia grumbled. Kai'ila poked her.

'You're coming to, Miss Anti-social.'

'I am not- oh all right maybe I am.'

'And Val can come too!' Cleo said mischievously as her friend got into the water. L'risia froze and tinged pink across her nose. Amelia looked nervous.

'Uh, Miss L'ri-'

'OU TAKE THAT BACK!' L'risia shouted with a grin, sweeping her hand through the water and soaking her friend, who squealed as the hot water touched her.

'Ooh you'll pay!'

Soon a full-scale fight was on. Over the wall, Xelloss grinned and began to levitate, stopped by Val calmly pulling on his ankle.

'Don't event think about it, Xelloss.' He said calmly. Zelgadis sighed and leaned of the edge of the pool.

'I'm going to need to get a tan.' He said to no one in particular.

 Gourry snickered and then sputtered as a stray glob of water smacked his head.

'Ow!'

'Sorry!' Filia shouted. 'RINA! Lina, your daughter has a _bucket_-'

The men sat in silence for a little longer.

'Women.' Val said eventually.

'Yeah. Have a drink.'

And they all lived happily ever after…

Perhaps the bluest part of the sky always seems furthest, so that we will always strive to reach it.

- Himura Kenshin. 


End file.
